Feel guilty re cost of wedding ring

H2b and I went ring shopping yest, we didn't have a set budget - he just kept saying "well we'll see how much they cost"! After deliberating I finally found a ring I loved & went well with my e.ring (the band is somewhere between flat and round so it was hard to find a match!) we picked my ring purely on the 1 we loved...now I'm not sure this was the right thing. It's Cost 30% of our wedding budget (the ring price is not included in the overall budget). I'm not usually extravagant when buying things for myself at all and feel guilty about picking what I loved and not having a set budget. My h2b would always prefer I got what I loved instead of being ruled by cost when I'm going to have this for the rest of my life but should I have been more sensible!? It's going to mean we're really going to gave to Save to pay for it too - something else I feel bad about!! I'm doing my own head in now-sorry!!!

Do u think it's normal to feel so guilty about this or should I take it as an indication that I've done the wrong thing?

Posts

  • 2BWed20112BWed2011 Posts: 2,209
    Cee Cee, I can't really appreciate your situation as we opted for a couple of plain gold bands (my engagement ring is very sparkly already and I like the symbolism of the wedding ring)... However, that being said, if your H2B didn't bat an eyelid when you bought it than obviously he is happy that you are happy. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Maybe he has been setting aside money for exactly this above and beyond your wedding budget.
  • MrsHBarneyMrsHBarney Posts: 195
    Hi, we had no set budget and ended up spending far more than I thought we would but both our rings our perfect and it's one of the few things that you'll have forever rather than just for a day! If you can't afford it, then that's another issue but if you can than why not...
  • Em22UKEm22UK Posts: 206
    Dont feel guilty. Spend what you want and if your h2b is happy then so be. We were going to spend 1k each on our wedding rings but my partner found one he liked for around £500.00. That doesnt mean i now have £1500 lol just that we are £500.00 better off. My engagment ring was stupidly expensive so the cheapest platinum rings that suit my ER are around £1000. GO FOR IT, you will wear it forever
  • I agree with Em22 - you will wear it everyday for the rest of your life, def worth it.... I am interested to know the cost though.... has it got diamonds in it?
  • Its all about priority, if it means a lot to you, then I'm sure you can save on costs elsewhere, which will balance out the guilt?.



    I like to be able to justify where I've gone over budget, by cutting back on things that arent so important to me.

  • I agree with Kat230711, if it's making you feel really guitly & annoyed, try cutting back on something else.

    I think you just need to hear wedding rings are more expensive than I thought too, but that's how it is & it's as everyone else has been saying, it's going to last you forever, years from now you'll forget the exact amount & only know it's yours & you love it. Besides, H2B isn't thinking about it half as much as you are, cut yourself some slack... It's the only item from your wedding day that you'll use every day afterwards.
  • Miss_PenguinMiss_Penguin Posts: 1,020
    Shop around to ensure you've been quoted the best price for what you want. Maybe Birmingham Jewellery Quarter or an online retailer?



    On one hand, a ring is symbolic, it doesn't matter how much it costs - the meaning is the same. On the other hand, it is something you will see everyday and use everyday. I think we've spent 3 times as much on rings as we have on the photographer. You have to decide what your priorities are.
  • hi there, i agree that you shouldn't feel guilty. I personally think you should buy the wedding ring that you love, as you'll be wearing it every day for the rest of your life! As others have suggested above, maybe you could cut back on something else that doesn't mean as much to you? I have cut right back on favours as I've overspent on my dress, for example ... image
  • HRoper2bHRoper2b Posts: 563
    I always said to Hubby that I would be really annoyed if he spent loads on my engagement ring (a months salary or whatever it is supposed to be) as I know what im like - im very out doorsy, gardening, running, cycling etc and I wanted to be able to wear my ring doing everyting that I love and not be worried about taking it off and loosing it. Seven years after saying this hubby remebered and brought me a small ring on a twist that was my perefct ring!



    When it came to wedding rings I really didnt want a shaped one to fit round the twist, so after much debate I agreed that I would wear my e-ring on the other hand and that I would get a weding ring with a little bit of sparkle if I found one that I liked!



    Well, I fell in love with one and after everything I had said about my engagement ring my wedding ring cost more than twice as much as my e-ring. Hubby could see how much I loved it, having got a bit stressed about not being able to wear the rings together and we only went to look at rings and before i knew it we had paid £800 deposit for the pair of rings!



    And 9 months after the wedding there is not a day goes by when I dont look at my ring, think its beautiful and think that extra money was more than worth it. You wear it every day for the rest of your life - if you think about it on a daily cost its not that much!



    Dont feel guilty!



    Hx



  • mrsgLmrsgL Posts: 682
    i dont think you should feel guilty at all for buying it, you will own it and wear it for the rest of your life. my er was two months salary, ive opted for a plain band for my wedding ring which cost about 20 times cheaper. but its what i wanted. dont feel guilty about it

  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    The wedding ring I really love is way too much H2B said if I really wanted it I would have to buy myself as he can't afford it, neither can I there. We have looked around and now I have found a really gorgeous one in Ernest Jones for £175!! So this is what going for.
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    The wedding ring I really love is way too much H2B said if I really wanted it I would have to buy myself as he can't afford it, neither can I there. We have looked around and now I have found a really gorgeous one in Ernest Jones for £175!! So this is what going for.
  • JvLwithBabyBoyJvLwithBabyBoy Posts: 2,740 New bride
    we didnt want to spend a fortune on wedding rings either so instead of getting one with diamonds all around it as i initially wanted i opted for a plain band that sits perfectly with my engagement ring and am using it as a memoire ring, ie we will have the diamonds set into the ring over the years and so the ring will become more sparkly and valuable the longer we are married and each diamond will have a meaning of its own (anniversary, birth of baby, 30th birthday etc).
  • Oooh rings are the one area not to skimp on love get the ring!!



    *You will have it for the rest of your life, and will pass it onto your children or family one day it will be for eternity * xxx
  • 0902201009022010 Posts: 51
    It's your budget (which you have full knowledge of) and your decision (which you are wholly responsible for) so the choice you made was made with full knowledge of those things.



    But the fact you've taken the time to come onto a wedding forum and asked if you should feel guilty means yes, you probably should.
  • larley-boolarley-boo Posts: 29
    I can see where you're coming from-we'd get on really well as I'm the exact same!

    I don't usuall spend much money on myself, and when I do on the very rare occassion just go right ahead and do it, I feel guilty after!



    The thing to remember with your wedding ring though, is you're only going to have your day once, so go with whatever your heart tells you to do. If you're happy with it, and you and your H2B are fine with it, then go with it.



    There's also the fact that one day, you may have a daughter to give the ring to, to pass down, so you want something that's worth it's money, and with jewellery you usually get what you pay for; the more it costs, the better the quality.



    Hope I've helped at least a little bit...try not to worry too much, I'm sure you've 100% made the right choice, hun! x x x

  • MrsDyos2BMrsDyos2B Posts: 45
    I wouldn't feel guilty about it, it is the one thing that hopefully lasts a lifetime. I would however try and shop around, we did for my h2b's ring and we ended up getting exactly the same ring for a fraction of the price. It cost £1000 in Hatton Garden and we got it on the net for £470 (was a little worried about getting it online but glad we did) x image
  • We have spent a fairly large sum on both our wedding rings which were handmade to our design. I and my H2b both feel the same way - when the dress is hung back up, the cakes been eaten and the last dance had what is there to remind you of your day - your wedding ring! (plus photos of course image ) When your 80 you will still look at your ring and remember your amazing wedding day. Why would you want to have anything less than something you truly loved for the most important peice of jewellry you will ever wear image



    If your H2b didnt worry then you shouldn't either. Any cut backs you have to make will be worth it for your perfect wedding ring.



    Enjoy your ring hun and have a fab wedding day image



    xx
  • chezza2005chezza2005 Posts: 1,053
    I totally agree with most of the other girls on here...



    The thing we have spent the most on for our wedding day (based on each part having an individual price) is our rings.

    I believe this is acceptable as the wedding day (while i hope will be fantastic) will come and go within a day but the wedding rings will hopefully stay on our fingers for the rest of our life. So I do not feel bad/guilty at all for spending the most on them.



    If you love the rings you've picked and you can afford to do so without putting yourself in considerable debt then got for it and enjoy looking at them on your fingers for the rest of your life!!

  • buntybbuntyb Posts: 1
    Don't feel guilty! Think about the cost per wear. If you buy a dress for your Christmas work party, you might wear it once, maybe twice? (Just don't apply this theory to your wedding dress!) But you will wear your wedding ring every single day of the rest of your life once you're married, and that will work out at hardly anything! Also what was the alternative? You could have chosen something cheaper but you wouldn't have loved it, plus each time you looked at it I bet you'd have thought of the one you really liked, which is the one you've got. Make some sacrifices in other areas of your normal life to pay for it. Every time you look at it, it will make you smile. You've got nothing to feel guilty about.
  • CeeCeeDorCeeCeeDor Posts: 234
    Thank you so much for all your lovely replies-I appreciate it image

    I think it's a lovely idea that it is a reminder of our day and something that i will b able to hand down to a daughter (or grand daughter-surely there will b a girl in the family somewhere!)

    thank you all xxx
  • Hi



    I am a jeweller and understand that the cost of the rings is a lot. But to be honest, its the only thing thats left after the Big Day. You can save on other areas by getting flowers in season, loosing the canap????s, forgetting the chair covers (who really notices them anyway?) and having sparkling wine instead of champagne.



    You'll be so happy that you have the perfect rings to look at forever more than scrimping on them and you can look down and remember the best day ever.



    Kim x
  • Hi



    I am a jeweller and understand that the cost of the rings is a lot. But to be honest, its the only thing thats left after the Big Day. You can save on other areas by getting flowers in season, loosing the canap????s, forgetting the chair covers (who really notices them anyway?) and having sparkling wine instead of champagne.



    You'll be so happy that you have the perfect rings to look at forever more than scrimping on them and you can look down and remember the best day ever.



    Kim x
  • Dont feel guilty just LOVE the ring! imageimage
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