Sick of Saving!

Our wedding is in 2013 and we're paying for everything ourself. We're lucky enough to both be in decent jobs (with fianc???? hopefully moving job soon for an extra £6k or so!) but I have a lot of debt from stupidity when I was younger.

My income & expenditure for my debt plan was meant to take any disposable income that I had to pay towards the debt so that's obviously a massive chunk of my wages and now I'm trying to save for the wedding as well, it just feels like every penny I have is scrutinised.

It's just depressing to try to think back to when the last time I bought myself new clothes was - I've been wearing the same stuff to work for MONTHS - and we've still 80 weeks to go 'till the wedding!

Sorry for the rant, I know it's necessary if we want the wedding to be the best it can but honestly I just want to scream sometimes!


  • tell me about it , we saved for a year before even getting engaged, we have saved 10k which is fab but i just started a savings avvount for my wedding dress and even though i am breaking my back to save in it its depressing how slowly it increases!!!
  • D'you know the way that you're looking at buying 2 jumpers for £15 which realistically - you do actually need 'cause it's coming into winter and it's Scotland, but I feel guilty about buying them!!

    I've been terrified to check my bank account this week but I just did and it was a (somewhat) pleasant surprise that I'm not mega overdrawn.

    Argh, it's killing me!
  • MrsFaulkyMrsFaulky Posts: 6,671
    I feel exactly the same...I picked up 2 tops yesterday that were in the sale for £4 each and I ended up putting them back as I couldn't justify it. I am planning the biggest shopping trip after the honeymoon!!

    It will all be worth it in the end but I know how depressing it can feel constantly having to say no to going out with friends, no clothes, no real luxuries.

    Is there anyway you could bring your budget down so that it's more affordable every month?
  • We don't really have a budget as such, we're just saving as much as possible each month. I know it sounds really stupid cause it's obviously our own choice to save but I'm just really, really bad at it!

    I nearly cried on Monday when the petrol light in my car came on 'cause it'd take me into my overdraft for sure (not to mention the fact I'd put petrol in on Saturday!)
  • I feel your pain ladies, H2B and I have done nothing but save for what feels like forever now!

    We got engaged 18 months ago and have 8 months until the wedding. We've started to realise now that it's honestly not good for either of us to constantly worry about it. Yes, the money has to be saved but sometimes you need to have a break. I splurged and got my hair done at the weekend and told him to have a week of no saving which meant he decided to take us out for the day on Sunday.

    Honestly you have to put it into perspective, if you're constsantly broke and never allow yourself anything you'll end up resenting the whole process and getting snarky at each other. £20 every now and then may make you feel guilty at the time but it's an awful lot better for your sanity in the long run!! image
  • Is there anything you could sell on ebay to have a little spending money or what about a carboot youd be surprised what people will buy and you just might earn a little treat money!
  • I've ebayed a few things and bought a pair of boots 'cause there was no way I'd get a pair otherwise image

    I've taken up selling Avon again which will hopefully help me break even every month rather than dipping into my overdraft.

    Silly things make me feel guilty though. We bought Europa League (football) tickets - I know that sounds silly 'cause we're saving but we were never gonna miss this! - but I've had to miss one of the games so I offered my ticket on Twitter and a friend of mine bought it. H2b presumed I was putting the £20 towards the savings and then I felt like a right selfish cow saying that I figured that since I was missing the game I think I deserve to keep the £20!

    He agreed but he brought it up again yesterday as a "joke" so he's obviously not happy about it image
  • Polly27Polly27 Posts: 667 New bride
    I was in the same boat before the wedding, we had just over a year so save £18000!! It was so hard but on the day it was so nice to look around and think, I've paid for all of this, my brother (standing in for my dad who passed away when I was 17) turned to me during the meal and said you should be so proud of yourself, not many people could do what you've done.

    There is no better feeling than knowing all your hardwork has paid off. So just to let you know if will be worth it, though I'm still finding it hard to spend money because I can't get rid of the guilty feeling from when we were saving! Good luck everyone, you can do it! x
  • I 100% understand..

    I save non stop!! I work about 20-40 hours over time every month, and it all goes on savings.
  • Good news, my h2b got the new job with a £6.5k payrise!! Might go treat myself on his behalf image
  • My h2b and I have a 2yr old daughter, we have no family close by so I work his 2 days off which just about gives me enough wages to cover the utility bills, council tax, my loan payments (a moment of stupidity sums it up perfectly!!). My h2b works full time, has no opportunity of over time and although he is the assistant manager has just been told his pay rise will be same as all the rest of the staff (not to sound ungrateful but we worked it out to be an extra £27 BEFORE tax...). He has to pay the rent, everything for the car, insurance, his own loan and the shopping every week which leaves him nothing to save - I've been squirrelling away £50 a month which leaves me about £30-£40 for the rest of the month.

    I absolutely 100% feel your pain but like bridetobe27 says, imagine how proud you're going to feel on the day when you look round and your perfect day is the result of your hard work!

    Keep on saving, it'll be worth it in the end - and congrats for h2b's new job!
  • NowMrsMackNowMrsMack Posts: 2,535
    Saving sucks! I'm lucky that I saved some money a while back which is paying for the majority of the wedding, but my h2b and I are also saving for a house so all of our 'disposable income' is now 100% not disposable!

    going out for dinner tonight for the first time in ages to celebrate me getting a new job, booking our venue and registrar and we are both really excited! image

    You've just got to keep at it - in the end it will totally be worth it, both wedding wise, and debt wise!
  • lohan85lohan85 Posts: 185
    Yeah its hard but keep saving. Me n h2b have been saving for a year now and we have saved almost all our wage as were planning on buying a house too. We have hardly anything left for ourselves at all. We try to book things to look forward to though so that it doesnt drag. For example we went to Glasgow for the weekend during summer and plan a meal out every couple of months. Next thing we have planned is a weekend in Leeds over Xmas which we got cheap with premier inn £29 rooms. It's hard but you get used to it. We've saved over £30,000 now and it's so worth it. I dunno how I spent my money before.
  • I know that feeling too, we have cut back on everything and are still going to struggle to pay everything (its all the little things that you don't think about initially that mount up.)

    Our situation was a bit different to some of you, in that we only had 7 months from booking venue till wedding day, and had nothing saved to start us off, (add to that my hours at work being halved a week after signing contract and then h2b having his wages cut drastically a few weeks later.) but for those of you that have lots of time I think you need to treat yourselves every now and then or your start to resent the wedding.
  • JoeyClareJoeyClare Posts: 2,737
    Oh how I totally agree! I miss clothes and shoe shopping. I bought some jeans recently out of total necessity in that I was running out. I've got rid of a load of old clothes that are just past their best and I haven't got the money to replace them.

    Even my birthday money went on wedding things! I treated myself to a £4 pair of flipflops in the sale at Accessorize! I've got 44 weeks left. Me and H2B are buying token gifts for Christmas.

    August 2012 payday is going to be spent in a shopping centre and I will love every minute of it. image
  • Yep, I might take a day off work just to shop on image
  • I know after the wedding.. I am going on the biggest shopping trip and lots of lovely holidays!

    Plus re-decorating our house, and saving to move to a bigger place..
  • lohan85lohan85 Posts: 185
    Yes my august will be spend mostly shopping too. My work shoe soles are almost worn away and my emergency flats for work are developing a hole! I've been putting it off but definately going to have to buy a new pair this weekend which I can't afford image
  • I've only just started saving and I'm already struggling with it, all at once I've run out of make up, moisturiser, even bloody cat food and it's a toss up between looking sh*t for a month or starving the cats. Ha seriously though I know it'll all be worth it but I can't wait til my money is my own.

    (and I would never starve the cats image )
  • We're saving, but I refuse to kill myself and have a miserable time in the meantime, so we've figured out how much we can reasonably save and that's our budget, rather than the other way round

    We want to have a nice wedding, but tbh it's one day and I don't want to be fed up every single day of every month until that one day because I haven't got any money to spend image
  • Ami2012Ami2012 Posts: 161
    I have been saving quite a bit each month, then used it to pay off some debt (was a relief to pay it off now only have one credit card!) however we have had a rough time over the last couple of months and decided we needed a last minute holiday, so we are off to crete in a couple of weeks for a break(v cheap self catering jobbie!)

    Have started the savings pot again and its going on, am surprised how quickly it adds up really, what I need to do though is stop spending money on c**p on my lunch break and I would be able to put more away!

    H2B and I think it is important not to have the wedding rule our lives, we go out for dinner at least once a week (we have a v cheap sizzling pub as our local!)and enjoy ourselves and if we have things we need like make-up/clothes etc we buy it, we dont want to spend the next 12 months unhappy trying to plan one of the happiest days of our lives!!
  • Oh Clare!!!

    I really feel for you. we are in a similar position, with my being in debt due to very silly choices when I was younger! Thankfully OH is a master of frugality, but I have been in tears at having to turn down invitations for meals out and going to work with no make-up or new clothes! The Wedding will be a once-in-a-lifetime massive treat for you and something you truly deserve, so your hard work will be worth it- that's what I keep telling myself too! I do hope you've treated yourself with H2B's payrise image

    Good luck and try not to worry- you will have the day of your dreams, I am sure image Xxx
  • lindsayulindsayu Posts: 1,939
    I also know what you're going through, but agree with other posters, there's being frugal and saving, then there's completely depriving yourself, it has driven us to arguments in the past as we sit in and get bored and as someone said before get resentful and sarcastic.

    We probably spend £100 a month between us on clothes, going out, family occasions etc. It sounds a lot but realistically that's only us buying one small item each, maybe going out for one meal, then paying for a taxi and a bottle of wine to go to someone's house for a birthday etc. I've got to the point where I'm sewing up my clothes, an £8 primark cardi that I love has been sewn up up at least 2-3 times ha!!! I had holes in my boots so water would come in when it rained so had to buy more (River Island do great Ugg-alikes for £30!!!!)

    We've also had a few disasters this year, my car was written off still waiting for rest of insurance to come through, my other half also needed a car (managed to get a cheap run about for just under £1k), we had a few thousand pound bill on emergency house repairs, and we had to move house. My other half is now over £2k behind on wedding savings and me over £3k behind. Once the rest of the insurance money comes through this will get us back more on track, but we're still going to have to up monthly repayments to get to where we need to be.

    I made the hard decision yesterday just before a meeting with the venue, to knock another 8 or so people off the guest list, after already knocking about 20. When you add up the cost per person (canapes, main meal, drinks package, evening buffet, chair cover) you have to get ruthless. We'll still invite them to the evening but we've saved best part of a grand.

    We're also delaying the honeymoon, so all our savings are going on the wedding, then we will restart again for the honeymoon just to keep the pressure off.

    With being a bight with money I think I've also become a bit more savvy as a consumer, we have about £25 in nectar points, about £5 in tesco, and about £15 in boots, which we'll save for the wedding. We've haggled on everything, sometimes successfully sometimes not. We went to the pictures on Thursday and there were 4 different people using the phone, one couple two rows in front they didn't even turn the sound off, so after the 6th or 7th time it went off my partner told them to turn it off in no uncertain terms! And a group of teenagers were being proper noisy and had to keep being told to be quiet by people around them. On the way out I told a member of staff and they were kind enough to give us a pair of free tickets. I know it wasn't their fault as such (though they did admit staff were meant to check the auditoriums mid film which they'd failed to do) but why should we pay £16 to see a film that is ruined?! To cut a long story short, stand up for yourself as consumers, tell people if the service was not satisfactory, and hunt for discount codes online before buying anything!!!!!!
  • I feel for everyone who's saving, but I agree with what's been said before. Me and my H2B are saving the money ourselves for the wedding (with a donation from his family who won't take no for an answer) and it feels so good to be planning things and know what we're saving the money. Also in the married section of this website there is so many people who have took out loans to pay for the wedding and now are struggling to pay it back and I love the fact that though we might not be rich or have great jobs, after the wedding we won't have any debts but will be free to start saving for a house if we want.
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