It's all adding up and i'm having wobbles about the cost!

Hi, I'm having a few wobbles about how much we're spending....

What we budgeted for and what the wedding is actually costing is a whole lot different. At every turn wour choices have seemed to be the expensive one and just said we'd rather have what we want, instead of just going for the less disired (by ourselves) cheaper option and that's been fine.

It's not like we are getting ourselves into debt because we are saving really well (even took in lodgers in the spare room!) it's just i'm looking at the totals of everything and it's actually ridiculous, i could have a new car or put a deposit on another house!!

Everything about our day is going to fabulous, but it's about the marriage, do we really need to be spending this much? 

Our family and friends list is huge, we're all very close so the main cost is the catering. But then again if we cut down and don't do what we want will we regret it in the long run and say 'i wish we would have done this or that'!

Did anyone else have these wobbles? 

x

Posts

  • Our wedding is being done on a serious budget and it still terrifies me how much money it is. Still, it has to come down to the fact that although you can save money in some areas, there is point at which so many sacrifices would make it not worth it. Sorry, that is not well explained! What I mean is that, in my mind, to cut the budget  any more would mean losing so much that I would rather not spend any of it and just have the legal stuff in a registry office.I am trying to keep focused on how lovely it will be without going overboard on the budget. So long as you aren't gettin into debt, I would say just try and enjoy!

  • MrsP2B13MrsP2B13 Posts: 312
    Misskittenb u just put in to words what iv spent the last ten mins trying to write haha !
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    I think it depends whether you'd rather have a new car & a deposit on a house, or an expensive wedding day?

    That's what it comes down to really, I don't think it's a bad thing to spend a lot on your wedding if  that's what you want, but if when you look at the costs you realise that actually you could spend less, still have a great day, and have something else to show for it as well?

    We ended up not even spending everything we'd saved because we realised that we'd rather have a bit of money left in our savings rather than being left with nothing, and we've carried on saving the same as we were for the wedding because we were used to it 

  • MrsMnowMrsMnow Posts: 463

    We also had the same wobbles but as we too are saving I didnt want to look back and regret not having things i/we really wanted.  Although that said there were things i didnt even know i/we wanted until i saw them image

    We havent scarefised anything either really, we still eat out and had holidays, although they have been cheaper holidays, if anything it has made me realise what crap i must of brought before we started saving.

     We are large numbers too (115 day and 278 night) so will be  a really party atmosphere and i cant wait, we have saved for over 2 years for the wedding and we are having everything i have ever wanted for my wedding including starting married life with no debt!

     

  • DrBridezillaDrBridezilla Posts: 1,018

    I'm having major wobbles lol. Don't worry - I think it's natural. And no matter how big your budget, it's always hard to stay within it as your choices naturally reflect your budget - even if you don't mean them too!

    We woudln't have even considered a marquee if we'd had a smaller budget as we knew we'd need solid floorng which really bupms the cost. That doesn't mean we aren't flabbergasted at how much it has cost! 

    As has already been said, as long as you're keeping out of debt, keep doing whatever you're comfortable with... xx

  • MsCEMsCE Posts: 169

    We're having a small budget wedding (really small!)  It's just ment for us having things like a sit down buffet rather than a 3 course meal and the venue is a golf club (with amazing views and an outside balcony) rather than a hotel setting. 

    Favours (wasn't going to have at all) have ended up being mini love hearts which I got 100 on Amazon for about £7 and we'll also be making a charity donation, my veil, side tiara, shoes and the flowergirls/bridesmaid dresses have all come from Ebay - managed to get 3 flowergirl dresses (bhs) a teen bridesmaid dress (monsoon) and a grown up moh dress (karen millen) for less than £100!!  the monsoon and karen millen ones abviously don't match but are variations of the same colour and go with the overall 'look' so I'm happy image 

    I'm also DIYing a lot of things....the centrepeices will be comprised of fake crysanthemums (sp?)  (from banardos so i'm happy that a charity has profited) tall vases (ebay again) and lace covered jam jars with tealights which I have a small army of family and friends collecting for me....  I've made all of the button holes/bouquets from foam flowers which is for the best anyway since half of the bridal party, including me, have hayfever (july wedding)

    Like others have said, I think it's up to you what you'd prefer really....personally we've been together almost 10 yrs, have lived together for 5 and have 2 kids so there's always something else that needs the money spending (house and kids mainly!!)  and I'd prefer to have some money left over for a new bathroom and a family holiday image 

    So long as it's what you want and you're not getting into debt go for it!  Otherwise, if you are really worried, see what can be forfitted to make things a little cheaper!

  • If it is the catering that is throwing a spanner in the budget works then have a look at your menu costs.

    We have a fine dining menu which is 5 to 7 course. That is £40 per head which mounts up.

    A simple three course dinner or buffet could be half of that cost? A roast for example.

    The cheapest possible way to feed a large number of guests is a hog roast.

    Prices are around £5.00 per head including the pig, baps apple sauce and salads.

    Is it possible that your venu can source this for you.

    You do not NEED to give offer your guests a gourmet dinner just tasty wholesome food!

    Do not have a starter, do not have dessert use your cake as dessert with icecreams?

    Have a sweetie table and buy sweets from a cash and carry ie 3kg jar of sweets £5.99

    Whatever you decided I,m sure you will have a wonderful day!

  • Hi Thanks for your replies!

    Cmonk2b we sound quite similar!

    We still eat out, have a holiday a budget holiday planned with friends and we will also be debt free when we are married. Which is very important as we've both struggled financially due to alot of redundancies and bad luck between us.

    We do not yet have any kiddies to depend on us, so our money is 'ours' atm. I don't know, the wedding we're planning is a wedding a never imagined we could afford (or i would have).

    Although i i could definately do with a new car (i have my first car, which i gave to my younger brother then he bought a new car and he gave it back lol) i don't need a brand new car, aslong it gets me from a to b it doesnt't really bother me.

    I think over the weekend of chatting wedding with the girls i've got excited again and thought 'f*ck it' im worth it lol

    We're all worth it!

    x

  • MrsMnowMrsMnow Posts: 463

    Good for you, glad your feeling better.  When do you get married?  I get married in July so only 12 weeks to go and to be honest although i know everything will bepaid in time i check my figures and spread sheet at least once every day lol xx i would hate to think how much i have spent on little bits and pieces - £10 here £20 there.

    Finished my confetti bags at the weekend and now on the hunt for a cake topper.  image

  • Sorry for the late reply, my 'my posts' section has only just stopped saying 'Oh crumbs' We don't get married till next June, so we have plenty of time to save- or spend even more lol :-/

    I'm a little worried with the comment above from [email protected], 7 course for £40 per head, thats a bargain! All the quotes we've had for 3 course have been 35-40 per head! :-O albeit we havent gone for the cheapest caterer but we haven't gone for the most expensive either!

    July, not long now! I check my spreadsheet everyday too lol I know my numbers liek the back of my hand!

    x

  • Eternally grateful to any brides who could fill out a quick 5min survey on the wedding industry in Wales for my dissertation...

    You'd be helping a very stressed student out more than you would believe!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Y25Q3DB

    Thank You xx

  • GemmaBGemmaB Posts: 77

    £40 for 5-7 course is fantastic! We're paying £38 for a 3-course meal, this is the middle priced menu as we didn't want to go for the cheapest and it meant cutting down our guest list a bit to be able to afford it.  

    There are lots of things you can do to cut costs, but if they are not what you want it's just not worth it.  I want to be proud of my day! My cousin had a weddding where there was a cold buffet, which was great, but she spent most of the day apologising that it wasn't a sit down meal. 

    You really have to be happy with your choices. As you say - you're worth it!

  • We're payign similar to you GemmaB, which we thought was good as we get to give our guests 3 options! 5-7 course meal for £40 i just can't find anywhere lol

    I've keep having the wobbles, and think 'shall we swap for a carvery or buffet' and i just can't imagine that at my wedding!

    I think i'm turning into a *wedding snob*

  • The catering cost was our main issue too, were paying £47 for a 3 course with coffee and mints afterwards, we decided to have a small intimate wedding breakfast and ceremony ith just our mums, dads, brothers, sisters, nannas and grandads and then invite everyone else to the evening receptiwho here we are having a barbecue which is costing us 24pp, it's quite expensive but it wa the only way we could have what we wanted at a venue we want, plus we quite like the idea of spending time with our closest family before everyone arrives to the night time x

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