Over budget for the right dress????

Hi everyone

Just curious to hear of anyone who has gone over budget for their dream wedding dress and not regretted it afterwards?

I first tried on a couple of dress last February at a wedding fayre, but didn't really think any of them did anything for me.

Fast forward to November last year and after cancelling a couple of appointments at shops where my budget wouldn't allow me to shop, I went to House of Mooshki and had a dress designed for me for what was at that time, my October 2016 wedding.

We decided to postpone our wedding due to other priorities and in pushing it back a year I felt I wanted to get the whole dress shopping experience so I cancelled my order from HoM.

At this point, I will say I think I've looked TOO much at dresses and watched too many SYTTD and so just lost my way with what I wanted, but I was constantly lusting after one particularly dress.

Anyway, I booked an appointment for last weekend at a designer day and tried on 3 dresses, all of which just didn't do ignite anything in me, I looked through the racks and everything just seemed samey samey and nothing was jumping out at me. However, they did have the dress in that I'd been lusting after, but as it is new season, there wasn't a price on the label but I decided to try it on anyway.

WRONG DECISION! I was overawed, I was speechless, the owners were speechless, I got butterflies, I didn't want to take it off, I keep dreaming about this dress and thinking about it all the time. One problem, it is nearly double what I have budgeted! My H2B has said "if you think it's the one, then you will have it". I have looked at our budget and we can cut down in places (places that will affect me not my H2B) which will enable me to double my dress budget but I'm still struggling with spending that much money on a dress.

I argue with myself that it'll be worth it, that I'm not going to do this again, that I never spend any money on myself and I highly doubt I'm going to find a dress that even matches this one, let alone betters it.

I just don't know what to do so I'm interested to hear from people who have taken plunge.

Posts

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,845 New bride

    I went over my dress budget- almost double once you factor in alterations and accessories. I just realised that my original budget wasn't anywhere close enough to get a designer dress from the brand I loved! It is scary to spend that kind of money but I did what had to be done! I don't think it will be as much as you are spending, but the 'over budget' shock still applies!

    I know it's a lot of money- but you don't want any regrets, you only do this once. If you have worked it out and can afford it then I think you should go for it. It sounds like that dress is 'the one' and anything else would be settling. Have you considered if you will sell the dress after the wedding? You could help justify the cost that way.

  • I think it depends whether it's going over budget in a financially irresponsible way which means you won't be able to pay the rent, or going over budget in a way that is more than you planned but can afford.

    As you plan to cut back on other areas to cover this, it sounds like the latter in your case! So I say go for it! getting married is once in a lifetime and it is a shame not to wear your once in a lifetime dress because of money which you can find by cutting back elsewhere.

    two notes of caution: firstly remember alterations etc.

    Secondly are the areas youre cutting back on going to mean you enjoy the rest of your wedding less? I spent a lot on my dress, not over budget as such as I had an overall outfit cost, so I've decided to just wear any old cheap white shoes. that doesn't matter to me, but if I had to not invite some friends to pay for it that would matter to me!

    But basically I think if you've found the dress of your dreams and are in a position to make it happen then do It!!! 

    are you going to tell us the dress...?

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Thanks for your reply sammykate. It doesn't really matter how much your original budget is does it, if it's over, it's over!

    The lady in the shop did say that if I wanted to sell it afterwards she thinks I'd be able to get at least half back, her daughter (it's a family run business) thought I'd easily get more than half back.

    They have kindly offered to do the alterations free of charge as they said because it's a brand new dress they wouldn't be able to knock anything off the price of it, and also order more material than needed to make my daughter a flower girl dress which will match my dress at no extra cost.

    I think if I stuck to my original budget, and then had to pay for alterations and buy my daughter a flower girl dress, then this dress wouldn't be double the total cost anymore.

    I said to the lady that I'm going to give myself until October to find another dress and if I don't, I want to try that one on again. They are already having a designer day in October so have booked my appointment and have said they will order that dress back in especially for me.

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Cross post LittleSpice!

    Oh, absolutely not would it mean we couldn't pay any bills etc the things I would be foregoing would be shoes that I have drooled over for years, not wedding shoes, but shoes that I would need a special occasion to justify spending that kind of money on. I'm willing to not get those as nobody will see them anyway, I cut my jewellery budget down, taken the cost of my little girls flower dress off, and cut some entertainment that isn't really necessary, it was more of a want rather than a need.

    As I said, the cuts would effect me and not my H2B or the day as a whole. I wouldn't dream of cutting anything that my H2B wants or that would effect the day he has.

    I'm not going to say what the dress is in case my H2B stumbles across this or anyone I else I know who frequents this site! 

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,845 New bride

    After reading your replies- my only response is buy it buy it buy it!

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Hahahaha Sammykate, you're a bad influence!!

    I've just seen your dress by the way and it's so beautiful and romantic! I'm going to carry on reading it now!

  • Ha ha fair enough, come back and show us when you're married! Definitely buy it I say, you have the rest of your life to buy nice shoes but only one day to wear your dream dress!

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Ahh thanks both, you've made me feel more comfortable about making a decision. I'll be sure to let you know what I eventually end up doing.

  • Buy it! 

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,208 New bride

    Word of warning - you will go over budget in other areas so make sure you have reserves to cover it (a lot of brides have said this!) If you overspend on your dress this might impact in other areas you might not have anticipated. 

    When is your wedding? If it's the back end of 2017 it might be worth waiting a few more months till you make a decision - new collections come out etc and you might get an offer on your dream dress or find something as good but closer to your budget. Buying a dress over a year in advance can be dangerous from what i've read on here!

    Good luck & happy dress shopping :-) 

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Haha LitlleOne89

    Thanks for your reply SeptemberBride. I already have a "miscellaneous" pot in my budget to cover for unexpected costs, I also think I've over egged a lot of things on purpose as I'd much rather come in under what I have forecast rather than over.

    It's October 2017. I'm not going to make a decision until October this year which gives me a few months to shop around. But I highly doubt I'll find anything comparable, but I'm willing to try, even if it's just to satisfy myself that there are no other dresses, in my budget, that will give me the same feeling.

     

  • Kim122Kim122 Posts: 19

    Buy the dress nothing else will do now you have found it- no matter what you need to cut back on you will feel amazing in the dress so that will more than make up for it (i wll no doubt be back here in a few months with same dilemma- i always want the over budget stuff sob) 

    We need a forum for weddings that have happened so brides can come back and say this is what i did and it was worth it or it wasnt worth it Lol

    x

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Ahhh thanks Kim, you're so right. I just don't want any regrets before or after, although I'm not really one for regretting things I've done, I more regret things I haven't done (in this instance it will be not buying THE dress!)

    Hahaha I absolutely agree! We're only going to do this once and only going to get the opportunity to wear and buy a dress like we will once in a lifetime. If it's going to be done, it has to be done properly!

    I can't try the dress on again until October anyway so I will do a bit of dress shopping and then I will be than comfortable spending that money knowing I've not found anything else. 

  • Emma236Emma236 Posts: 215

    I ended up spending more than double my original dress budget and I seriously do not regret it one iota!  It was not what I thought I was looking for but when I tried it on, that was it, I HAD to have it - no dress has ever made me feel like that about myself.  I look back on my wedding day (and photos) with such amazing memories, knowing I looked the best I ever have and as someone who isn't usually full of self esteem, there's no price I could put on that.

    I had to cut back on some other parts of the day to justify the cost but nothing that anyone else would have really noticed - I cut back on my flowers for the tables, swapped Champagne for Prosecco, got my jewellery from a woman in my office who runs a little jewellery stall at weekends, my bridesmaid's friend made my cake, I made my own favours etc. etc.  

    Definitely worth it and if I had my time again, I'd do it all over and go over budget.

    BUY THE DRESS!

    E x

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,208 New bride

    MrsStobe4 - I think you've answered your own question on here. Sounds like it's your dress. Eeek!

  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    I'd shop around a bit more first then decide

  • Emily54Emily54 Posts: 266

    I went under budget on my dress 😂 it was the one I fell in love with so that was that! Normally never happens to me. I brought my dress a year in advance, once you have brought it stop looking at others. If it's the right one you won't want to any way. Feels like your cheating on it ha ha. 

    If my dress had cost more I still would have spent the money. Your doing this once and you deserve the dress of your dreams. If you can afford it, do it. Yes as others have said you will go over budget on other things. My whole wedding day was x3 over budget (whoops) but sod it we work hard for our money and could afford it so why not? X  

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    Thank you all for your replies. I think your right SeptemberBride, I think I've made my mind up and I'm feeling a lot easier about it after this thread.

    I think it's inevitable to go over budget, and if my dress is the only place we go over, then I'm a happy a bride.

  • Pf2016Pf2016 Posts: 729 New bride

    I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here and say.....You will wear this dress ONCE.  For ONE DAY.  Yes that day is important, but at the end of the day, a dress is a dress.  I don't know what your budget is, but given that wedding dresses on average cost £1-2k, we are potentially talking an extra one to two thousand pounds....for a dress.  Think what else you could do for that money - a fantastic fortnight's holiday on your one year anniversary for example.  I know it's easy to get caught up in the moment, but whatever dress you wear, you will look lovely and your guests will think the same.  None of them will appreciate it if you spend double your budget, and your HTB won't know the difference either (just think about all those episodes of Don't Tell the Bride - the grooms always end up buying something cheap-mid range, they hardly ever get the expensive dress.)  Just remember....it is one day only. My dress and veil together cost about £500, and I felt fantastic.  I don't mean to belittle anyone who has spent more but I do think you need to think about how you will look back at the day a few years down the line, and really consider whether it was worth it, rather than getting caught up in the whirlwind of wedding planning, when everything starts getting blown out of perspective and you start casually dropping an extra £1k left right and centre without really thinking about what that money is getting you.  Also, the reason the shop is offering you all those things for free is because they know they are making a huge profit from you regardless.  Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear but I wanted to offer a different perspective so you really really think about this between now and October.

  • Pf2016Pf2016 Posts: 729 New bride

    PS.  Spend the money on the shoes - you will wear them again and again!

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282
    Pf2016 wrote (see post):

    I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here and say.....You will wear this dress ONCE.  For ONE DAY.  Yes that day is important, but at the end of the day, a dress is a dress.  I don't know what your budget is, but given that wedding dresses on average cost £1-2k, we are potentially talking an extra one to two thousand pounds....for a dress.  Think what else you could do for that money - a fantastic fortnight's holiday on your one year anniversary for example.  I know it's easy to get caught up in the moment, but whatever dress you wear, you will look lovely and your guests will think the same.  None of them will appreciate it if you spend double your budget, and your HTB won't know the difference either (just think about all those episodes of Don't Tell the Bride - the grooms always end up buying something cheap-mid range, they hardly ever get the expensive dress.)  Just remember....it is one day only. My dress and veil together cost about £500, and I felt fantastic.  I don't mean to belittle anyone who has spent more but I do think you need to think about how you will look back at the day a few years down the line, and really consider whether it was worth it, rather than getting caught up in the whirlwind of wedding planning, when everything starts getting blown out of perspective and you start casually dropping an extra £1k left right and centre without really thinking about what that money is getting you.  Also, the reason the shop is offering you all those things for free is because they know they are making a huge profit from you regardless.  Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear but I wanted to offer a different perspective so you really really think about this between now and October.

     

    No need to apologise Pf2016! The reason I posted was for all opinions.

    I accept and understand everything you have said, and as I have said elsewhere, I wouldn't be considering spending this money if it meant it effected my H2B, and that goes for after the wedding also. All the money we are saving right now is purely for our wedding. We will not be getting into any debt for it and everything that comes after the wedding will be saved for after the wedding, so those savings will not be effected. I'm not one to just "drop £1k left right and centre" and if I was I would've just put the deposit down there and then but I'm not one to just throw money about without thinking about it first.

    I understand what you're saying when you say guests won't realise, but I wouldn't be doing it for the guests, I would be getting it for the feeling it gave me which I think money can't buy.

    I have tried dresses on in my price range and I felt nothing, I've looked at other dresses on the racks and they do nothing, they have all looked the same to me.

    I am aware the dress shop will be making money off the sale of the dress, of course, that's why they're in business, but I also know from other brides who have shopped there, that their alterations have been quite expensive so they could quite easily make even more money out of me but haven't taken the opportunity.

    I think it's all relative really and I wouldn't really criticise anyone for spending any amount of money on their wedding dress, it's all about what you can afford and whether it made you feel beautiful.

    I was actually talking to a friend about it today and she said one of the ma

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    oops cut off! Only just realised!

    My friend was saying that one of the main things she thinks about looking back on her day is that she did't feel great, she felt like she had settled for her dress as her mum loved it but she didn't she wished she had chosen the one she loved. She says she doesn't look back on her photographs with fondness when she looks at herself and if there was one thing she could change, it would be the dress and the feeling it gave her. Her day otherwise was perfect, but this is the one thing that she has alwayd spoken about, even before today, I don't want to be that bride who feels like I settled, I want to look at myself and think "wow!", if I can't do it on my wedding day, when can I?!

    I am still going to look elsewhere, and you never know, I might get that feeling from another dress, and I am open to that happening, but I think most people will have that benchmark dress that they compare all other dresses to, and  this one will be mine.

     

  • Emily54Emily54 Posts: 266

    Completely agree. If once you have looked at others and it's still the one then it's the one. 

    Yes you only wear it for a day, but that's the best day of your life and these photos will last a lifetime. You must be happy and feeling your most beautiful. 

    As I said earlier I went under budget. My dress and veil were £800. But I felt amazing in it and it looked like it was made for me. I tried on a £1,400 dress and it was so awful that my mum laughed at me! 

    It's not always about the money it's about how you feel in the dress that counts X 

  • MrsStobe4MrsStobe4 Posts: 282

    I think it's fab that you came in under budget! Doesn't matter the cost so long as you get 'the feeling'.

    I've been working some more on our wedding list the past couple of days and after getting quotes for wedding cake, which neither of us are really that bothered about, we are toying with the idea of having our little girl and two nieces make us a load of fairy cakes. Adds a personal touch, gets them involved and obviously much cheaper than buying a cake. Everyone loves a fairy cake! So, if we go with this idea, that'll be a big chunk of change out of our budget to go elsewhere, or not, as the case may be.

    I think when you start thinking about things, you can easily make cuts if needs be. And if it results in your day being much more personal, than bonus!

  • Samantha86Samantha86 Posts: 210

    i make it custome, so i can make it as my budget

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