Wedding Ring Decision

I'm torn on what to budget for my wedding ring.  The backstory is, my OH and I are already married, and hope to have a church blessing of our marriage on our anniversary next year.  (Our actual marriage ceremony was a bit of a scam/ joke - don't ask.)  I'd like to get a new wedding band in that the one I'm currently wearing isn't very nice and it's not the one I was originally married with anyway.  (My OH is on his third ring, I believe - we've both lost or damaged several due to our work/ lifestyle.)

I like diamonds (don't shoot me, jewelry is a bit of a hobby of mine), and I've found a lovely band with several stones on it of good quality, for £2100 (!)  The issue isn't having the funds (we work ourselves like slaves and are fortunate because of it), it's more should I really spend all this on a ring?  I was raised Catholic and I swear, I have guilt running through my veins 24/7.  There are a million other things the money could be spent on, even charitable causes (which I already do quite a bit of).  Another part of me says I deserve it because I work really, really hard, and wouldn't it be nice this time to get a quality piece that will last.  Obviously, I would also be much more careful with this ring and I would also get this one insured.

I've looked at Moissonite too, but part of me feels silly spending almost as much on something that's not a diamond.

Pretending you were in my spot, what do you think you would do?  Would you splash out - or go a more conservative route and use the money on something else?  (Yes, I know #firstworldproblems, but what on this forum isn't?)

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  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    Easy, if I could afford it then I would have it :) we can't afford anything like that, but try to buy the best quality we can within our budgte for most things.

    You work hard, you can afford it so go for it.

    Other people spend that money on drugs for a weekend, so I can think of worse things to spend it on lol

    (Also, share a pic if you have one! Love a good ring pic!)

  • Thanks, Sadieee!  I really appreciate your kind feedback. 

    Yes, we work like dogs, and sometimes I do feel like we should splurge.  We don't have "normal" lives like other people - rarely have a day off, rarely take a holiday, OH travels constantly for work, don't get much time together in general.  And we do give generously where we can (including to family and friends in need).  Maybe it's not a bad idea to go for it, it's something I'll have forever after all.

  • Kelly224Kelly224 Posts: 962 New bride

    Agree! If you can afford it go for it!! It’s something you’ll wear for the rest of your life so why not splash out if you can! 

  • Think of it as an investmen? You may or May not have children it could be passed down to in the future and therefore starting an heirloom, if not, you could always leave it to be auctioned for charity etc - enjoy some of your money now with the look to pass it on later - to famoly/friends/charity? Best of both worlds? 

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride

    I’d say go for it it’s a special symbol. But then I don’t suffer Catholic guilt 😂 my catholic upbringing seems to have had the opposite effect 

    Do you have a picture, just being nosey x

  • Here she is...it's a 7-stone anniversary ring, which I think is doubly appropriate, considering our situation.  (We will also be together seven years as of next year!) 

    I know this doesn't show the side profile, but what I like about it too is that it would sit flush against my e-ring.  A lot of rings with stones have bars between the stones or metal around the stones that forces the ring to sit back a bit from the e-ring.  (This is a picture from the store's website.)

  • Afterallthistime wrote (see post):

    Think of it as an investmen? You may or May not have children it could be passed down to in the future and therefore starting an heirloom, if not, you could always leave it to be auctioned for charity etc - enjoy some of your money now with the look to pass it on later - to famoly/friends/charity? Best of both worlds? 

    I can't have children , so yes, I would definitely donate it to charity.  Interesting you should mention it as I have plans to do that with all of valuables.  I love animals and am a supporter of several local causes.

     

  • Sadieee wrote (see post):

    Ooooo beautiful!!

    Thank you   I think it's very classic.

    MrsG2B, just found the pic.  LOL, too bad we can't hang out - I need to have a LOT less guilt from my upbringing and you could help!  My goodness, I can barely buy a new pair of shoes without think I should be sending the money to build wells in Africa (I'm not even kidding!)

    Kelly224, that's kind of what I'm thinking.  If I don't skimp this time (and take proper care of it), it's an investment, right?  

  • I would go for it.... 

    it is a symbol of your love and commitment to your husband... what better reason to go all out if you can afford it! I will want to look at my ring for the rest of my life...every single day... and remember how lucky i am to have found the one who loves me and i am devoted to... and my ring will reflect this... i'd rather not have a wedding dress or cake or all that stuff then having to buy a ring i dont love as much as my husband.... the wedding is gone in a day...the dress worn, the food eaten, the marque returned the drinks drunk etc.... the ring is the one thing apart from your memory and feeling which will always be there with you....

  • mrsdivinemrsdivine Posts: 161 New bride

    Wow that ring is beautiful. You, like me, need someone to tell you that it is okay sometimes to be kind to yourself. I agonise spending on myself but spend on others without a second thought because it's a 'good' thing to do. We work hard, save hard and it's okay once in a while to have a 'sod it' moment. Plus seeing the pic - how could you not? Get the ring Kitty x

  • Sarah1609, oh my goodness, my dear, your post read like a poem.  Nearly made me blubber at my keyboard!  Thank you :)

    mrsdivine, we sound like souls from the from the same cloth.  My OH actually frequently tells me to sod it, and get the xyz or do this or go there, etc.  I, too, never hesitate to contribute to a "good cause," it just seems I don't consider myself one of those good causes!  

    You ladies are all too kind and have definitely eased my mind that this is likely a good purchase!

    My OH and I need to have a good chat and a cuppa and finalise ideas & budget when he finally stops travelling for work.  Thankfully his travel season is nearly at its end!

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    Oooh it’s gorgeous! I love it that. Something about the shape really appeals to me. Love the seven year coincidence too, that would definitely sell it to me if those big old sparkly diamonds needed any help!!

    Let’s face it most of us are on here debating how to spend thousands on a single day when we could all just pop down to the local registry office, have a chip shop tea and donate the rest to charity! Spending money that’s hard earned is absolutely fine, I think especially when you’re clearly aware of the value of money, that this IS a splurge and that you do also do your bit with regards to causes important to you the Rest of the time. Let go of the guilt!!

    You sound like you both work hard, can afford it without compromising other things, so treat yourself! It’s a wedding ring and if you’re big on to the symbolism then I personally think it’s one of the few areas of a wedding that are worth splurging if you can given you’ve got the rest of your life to look at it and enjoy it. Something good quality too you’ll hopefully take good care of it and have it to cherish forever (and if it does a good turn to someone generations down the line via relatives or charity etc then all well and good too!).

    I am slowly persuading my fiancé that it’s totally a done thing to have a diamond wedding band these days. He thought they should be plain but I’m insisting I want something sparkly to match my ring. I’m actually going to save your pic for an inspiration board!!

     

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride
    KittyFiennes wrote (see post):
    Sadieee wrote (see post):

    Ooooo beautiful!!

    Thank you   I think it's very classic.

    MrsG2B, just found the pic.  LOL, too bad we can't hang out - I need to have a LOT less guilt from my upbringing and you could help!  My goodness, I can barely buy a new pair of shoes without think I should be sending the money to build wells in Africa (I'm not even kidding!)

    Kelly224, that's kind of what I'm thinking.  If I don't skimp this time (and take proper care of it), it's an investment, right?  

    Oh my days it’s beautiful 😍 100% buy!!! I’d definitely help you should see my shoe collection 😂🙈

  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,474 New bride

    Go for it-  personally I don't think that is a lot of money on a piece of jewellery, and as you say, you work hard, and don't have many treats.  We all have different amounts of money, and regardless of how much we have, we all spend it on different things.  Some people might smoke, others drink, whereas another person will buy a handbag, or a new pair of shoes.  Having something like this is timeless, and could be passed down to the younger generation.  Even if it isn't your child, perhaps a niece, or a god child.  

    Ultimately you are going to look at this ring every single day. You can't take your money with you, so why not spend it on something that is going to give you pleasure, and then if you do want to pass it on after you go then someone else will still benefit.  I know we spent a lot on my engagement ring, but every day I look at it and it makes me smile, and based on that alone I have no regrets. 

     

  • KittyFiennes wrote (see post):
    Afterallthistime wrote (see post):

    Think of it as an investmen? You may or May not have children it could be passed down to in the future and therefore starting an heirloom, if not, you could always leave it to be auctioned for charity etc - enjoy some of your money now with the look to pass it on later - to famoly/friends/charity? Best of both worlds? 

    I can't have children , so yes, I would definitely donate it to charity.  Interesting you should mention it as I have plans to do that with all of valuables.  I love animals and am a supporter of several local causes.

     

    My apologies, I didn’t mean to upset or offend you. 

    its a wonderful thing to give, time, effort and the much needed monetary donations. 

    I hope what ever you decide to do it makes you happy :) 

  • Reading this, I've got my mothers words in my mind... you pay cheap, you pay twice and this may be the case if you've had other rings that have been damaged etc. With a ring like this, you'd notice it and take extra special care of it and so it would last longer.

    Have you also looked at the material? They say if it's going against another ring, they need to be the same metal BUT, ones like platinum etc do last longer.

    My engagement ring is quite blingy (other half chose it but I love it) and when we were looking at wedding bands, I was happy with a plain one to keep costs down but he's insisted on a diamond band that matches, and he's right, it does look better but costs a LOT more... BUT, as others have said, the ring is what you'll look at every day after the wedding when everything else has gone and that's what will make you think of your husband and the love for each other.

    TLDR:- Go for it and love it :)

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,347 New bride

    I work hard but I can’t afford £2k for a blingy ring. Instead I’ve had to settle on a £300 one which I paid for myself. I’d love a diamond band but unfortunately I’m not blessed enough with a good enough job to have one so I’ll have to make do with what I have....

    That sounds bad and it’s not meant to be. If you can afford it then go for it. I wish I was in your position.

  • I'd say go for it! I have a blingy engagement ring and you can bet I'm having a blingy wedding ring too! The more bling the better I say 

  • Nynae15Nynae15 Posts: 41

    Completely agree with the others in that you should go for it. I bought a similar style wedding ring for a similar price and while that is an uncharacteristic amount for me to spend on jewellery I don’t regret it given the occasion and the fact that I will be wearing it everyday. I love the ring and can’t wait to wear it officially  

     

     

  • Mrs AyseMrs Ayse Posts: 561

    It’s a stunning ring, absolutely stunning! 

    You know the way I see it is, this is something that will be treasured by you, worn everyday and make you feel happy. If you had a joke of a wedding the first time around and didn’t like your rings, don’t you deserve to cherish that symbol of love that you’ll have for the rest of your life? You have worked hard for it, both in your life and on your marriage, and this is your moment to celebrate your love. Don’t taint it with guilt if you can (easier said than done). 

    I hope you do get that ring, it’s not a flashy car to show off with but something much more emotional and personal x

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride

    Thank you all again for encouraging me to go for it.  My OH and I went a few weeks ago to look at wedding rings and had this one custom made for me:

    image

    It has five diamonds which will be the same number as our anniversary on this exact day next year!!

  • Georgina74Georgina74 Posts: 299 New bride

    Wow! It's beautiful, you're very lucky!

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,603 New bride

    Wow that is very beautiful :)

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,280 New bride

    Beautiful! 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride

    Thank you ladies.  My OH and I have gone through some absolutely awful times lately (not problems between us).  I guess you could say this is a nice perk despite all of it.

  • KaybridetobeKaybridetobe Posts: 153

    Stunning!!!!! 

  • WOW!!!

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride

    You ladies are too kind.  I most definitely would never have taken the plunge if not for everyone's encouragement here.  It was good to be reminded that it's ok to do something nice for yourself every now and then.

    I told my OH that this is my Christmas and birthday and anniversary present for the next 10 years!!

  • VegasLouVegasLou Posts: 820 New bride

    Oh wow!! That ring is stunning, enjoy it xx

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