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Hen party dilemma

Hi, I'm having a bit of a dilemma - I want to have my hen party in July in the city I live in (London), which is quite far away from my home city, where I'm getting married and where most of my bridesmaids live. I feel it's fair to do this and it's what I want. However, one of my bridesmaids says she doesn't think she can afford it. I'm worried that if I don't change the venue of my hen do she'll fall out with me, and I can't really afford to have two hen parties, and don't see why I should. I'm really worried and upset about it and don't know what to do, help! 


  • SaziSazi Posts: 219

    At the end of the day, its your hen do so you need to do what you really want. Is it just one night you are having in London or a full weekend?

    I really don't think she will fall out with you for this, how can she? She will probably be the one who feels that you could possibly fall out with her for not coming to your hen do.

    Are other people coming who you've invited or is it just her that cant come?

    Why not go out for a meal with her and your other bridesmaids before the wedding? Don't say its cos she missed out on the hen do, do it as it will give you chance to all meet up and she will feel included in that way if that makes sense

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    If it is purely money then I would talk to her and if I could help her out with the cost, after all it is cheaper than having 2 hen do's!

    If it is more complicated then I would do what Sazi suggested.

  • Having 2 hen parties would be the easiest answer, but if money doesn't permit why don't you have your hen party in a different city half way between London & your home town? That would be the fairest way of solving the problem. Good luck! 

  • harry28harry28 Posts: 60

    I agree with LovetheSun. You may change your venue to make it easier for everyone. Find a decent place halfway between where you and live and London. If you have extra budget, hire a live band to add life to your party. Check out

  • KatladyKatlady Posts: 6

    I've had similar dilemas in the past, when booking my best friends hen do. It was ridiculous, I even had some of her friends phoning me up and saying that they couldn't afford to chip in £20 for the surprise pink limo that I had hired for her, and asking if they could still take the limo journey with us but could I pay for their share. Sometimes people really forget to try and see things from other people's points of view

    And now that its my own hen do coming up, I've come to realise that you just can't please everyone. I think its good to find a compromise, offering to lend her the money so she can come to London and keeping your hen do in the place thats most convenient for you and the majority of your hens seems like a good happy medium. Good luck and have a great time, remember its YOUR night! image

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