Dress fitting tonight - I'm SO worried!

Well, as the title states, I have a dress fitting tonight and I'm so worried about it.

It's not a fitting per se as they won't be doing any alterations yet (not if my mother's got anything to do with it, she wants me to gain another stone...)



BUT



there is a huge problem with it...



I ordered it at a lower weight than when I first tried it on but they still ordered me a size 6 saying that my measurements were much smaller than that and there'd be loads of lee-way.



It arrived a few weeks ago and I was allowed out of hospital to go to my mum's to try it on.



I'd obviously lost a lot more weight to land myself in hospital for 3 months, and shouldn't technically be out until June going off my target weight....I'm still quite a long way off despite 3 months of being force fed....



AND MY DRESS IS TOO SMALL!

At this weight.

I don't know what to do. My mum hit the roof! She got the shop to double check it had been made right, and they're saying it has and saying that I must just have lost weight but not actually lost any 'inches'

:\? Which can't be true as all my clothes have been hanging off me and it wasn't just a small weight loss.



It needs taking in at the bust but it's so tight around my hips...to the point that I can barely sit down in it.

I really didn't want it to have to be taken out as that will be a huge trigger for me, I even asked them to order an 8 so I could be absolutely sure this couldn't happen, but they didn't and are now denying I even asked (my mum and MOH were both there and both remember).



Argh.

This is making it so hard for me to stay motivated with weight gain :\? Not really sure what to do. Do I even have a leg to stand on if it really is unfixably wrong?

Posts

  • PurpleAPurpleA Posts: 6
    Didn't want to read and run but am not sure what advice to give beyond please don't let this set you back! It sounds as if you have come so far and are doing well. I am sure between you and your mum you will get this sorted. Purple hug
  • DustyMothDustyMoth Posts: 1,528
    Oh Rue, I want to give you the biggest hug in the world. First off - well done for putting the weight back on and for getting as far as you have - I'm so proud of you (not that some random lass on the internet makes that much of a difference, but I've been thinking of you) and so pleased to see you out and about on t'interwebs again!



    I remember when you put pictures up of you when you picked the dress that you said that you had asked to order a size up - I can't believe that they have done this to you.



    Is there any way you can get a copy of their measurements that they sent off - and compare with what the dress has turned out to be? And do you know what you were measuring at the time in comparison from another source (like the doctors or something?) If all your other clothes are hanging off (as I suspect they are!) then given the rest of the situation it does sound like they have made a mistake.



    Is there any way that they can get another one for you - or perhaps from another shop to try a different one of the same size? I understand that a bigger size isn't really going to help with keeping the motivation up, but you have to try and remember that lasses like me who usually wear a 12/14 are having to order size 18 /20 wedding dresses, so none of it is as bad as it seems at all - nonsense wedding dress sizing upsets every single one of us.



    Please try and remember that this is one dress. I know it's important, but it is nowhere near as important as your health, and they are the ones who have made a mistake in not listening to you. They are bound to be saying that you never asked because I am certain they know that they have f*cked up. I'm not sure of your consumer rights (perhaps Mrs Teach might be able to shed a bit of light?) but I would say that they should be able to help you - if the process was reversed and you'd lost so much it wasn't alterable I suspect they would be grumpy and deal with it so I suspect that they will have something up their sleeve if pushed hard enough.



    I hope you get on ok - you've done so so well so far - don't let some silly bints in a frock shop make you feel bad. *hugs*

  • bennicuk1bennicuk1 Posts: 933
    Firstly, don't get hung up on dress sizing, its all f*cked! I seem to recall someone telling me that they can take in a dress up to 3 sizes, and usually let it out 1-2 sizes.



    Don't stress too much without actually seeing what the seamstress suggests. I'd also consider asking the dress shop what they suggest - seeing as you suggested ordering an 8, and they used their 'expert knowledge' and ordered you a 6. I would say that was an error on their part. I'd consider giving trading standards a buzz to see what your rights are given that you have two witnesses present.



    Remember that the most important thing is that you end up with a dress that you look fabulous in, taken in, or taken out, it matters not. We're not a one size fits all society, everyones a different shape.



    So to sum up, find out what the scope for alterations is with your dress, don't stress over it, and remember that the number is just a label - your final dress will hardly resemble a 6 or an 8, it will be rue the milly sized!
  • Didnt want to read and run... but I'm at a loss as to what to say, apart from please dont let this demotivate you. I think Dusty and bennic have given you some fab advice, hope you can enjoy the fitting tonight and sort this out



    Big Hugs
  • SkipulaSkipula Posts: 1,763
    I think DM and bennic have said it all so can't really add anything else constructive.



    We can rally up the Weird Brides and march on the shop if you want image
  • DustyMothDustyMoth Posts: 1,528
    Bennic has excellent advice as usual :\) I think she's definately right about trading standards and not thinking of it as a number - but a Rue the Milly size. After all - that's the important bit of it all.



    I've just checked back and you did put your measurements at the time they ordered it on your dress issues thread - not sure if that will help with conversations with them or not. xx
  • SpefflesSpeffles Posts: 363
    Welcome back! It's good to hear how you're getting on but not so good to hear about the dress. Dusty and Bennic are right - wedding dress sizes are pretty useless. They don't have much in common with what goes on in the rest of the world. I don't take them seriously as a measurement of my size and I don't think you should either.



    The shop have just made a mess of the whole thing and are now trying to cover their backs. Please try not to take it as a reflection of you when you are doing so much better. It's their stupid mistake and nothing more.



    Bennic is right about trading standards, they might be able to help.
  • ruthemilyruthemily Posts: 13,622
    Thanks for the reassurance girls. I will let you know how I get on.

    Hopefully even if they can just reassure me about how much it can be taken out, that would help.

    They can't get another one in as it was discontinued at the end of last year. Typical!

    Just hope I can hold myself together; have been feeling really on edge and emotional all week and really don't want to end up being the crying bridezilla!!
  • MrsTeach2BMrsTeach2B Posts: 1,306
    Rue - so glad to see you back on here! It's good to see your name popping up again.



    On the dress front, sounds like the shop are lying their @rses off so don't let them get away with it - you have 2 witnesses that you asked them to order you a size 8. Plus surely if they measured you it should fit you now even if you hadn't lost any weight and it clearly doesn't. As it is, you have lost weight - as your doctors can attest - and therefore the dress should be too big not too small. As Bennic says maybe have a word with trading standards and a strongly worded letter to their head office (if a chain) or the manager (if not) too.
  • ruthemilyruthemily Posts: 13,622
    Thanks for the welcome backs image

    I tried the dress on.....and it was too BIG this time! What on earth?! It was a bit annoying really, as my mum had ranted at her on the phone, so the dress lady had a really smug 'I told you so look' smacked all over her face...grrr!!

    But she's reassured me that it will be OK, which is the main thing, and she's shown me where there is extra 'growing room' if I do manage to gain more weight so fingers crossed it will be fine.

    I am starting to wonder whether they somehow quickly took the seams out or something - I've no idea how it can change so dramatically! I've lost 3 pounds this past week, but that's hardly enough to add a couple of inches to a dress!

    Ah well...

    At least I'm calm about it now!
  • SpefflesSpeffles Posts: 363
    I'm glad it's back on track. It does seem a bit mysterious though. A dress that radically alters itself...... Send Scooby Doo in!
  • SkipulaSkipula Posts: 1,763
    I'm glad about that. Perhaps they sneaked in an 8 and changed the size label.
  • bennicuk1bennicuk1 Posts: 933
    Glad it went ok!
  • ska_girlukska_girluk Posts: 581
    just caught this thread, good to see you on here Rue - hope the wedding plans are helping with you keeping your mind off things.



    Glad the dress fitting went okay, maybe the dress fairies helped out?! I also have to agree with all the other ladies about wedding dress sizes being all over the place, it adds to all your fears by having to put a number to it, but a size of Rue sounds a lot better!
  • sjm224sjm224 Posts: 644
    Hope you look fabulous in your dress and the ladies at the shop get their stuff together and start making you feel amazing in your dress!



    Sharon x
  • DustyMothDustyMoth Posts: 1,528
    I just popped on to see how you got on, I;m so so glad it went ok.



    It rather does sound like there has been some sort of skullduggery afoot - it was the owner all along! But to be quite frank, I don't care as long as you're happy. I'm so pleased you feel a bit better about it all today.



    Hpoe you can keep up the good work with putting on weight and feeling better xxx
  • tsarinauktsarinauk Posts: 863
    Hi Rue,



    first off nice to see you back here- don't come on YAYW so much these days so missed this thread when you first posted but grrr I want to give those dress shop ladies a shake for making you feel this way after how strong and brave you have been these last few months. But believe me, there isn't a lady on here who hasn't been reduced to tears but silly bits of fabric and the seemingly arbitrary sizes they give them so please don't let it make you feel bad. As bennic wisely says, your dress will eventually be rue the milly-sized, not the other way round, and that's what counts
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