Not having a dress code for bridesmaids/groomsmen??

Hi guys,

Is anyone not specifying a dress code for their bridesmaids and groomsmen? We are looking to have around 6 people each and there is no way our budget will stretch to buying 12 outfits. Neither of us feel comfortable asking our friends to buy an outfit that we specify (nothing wrong with this of course, just personal preference), and so we were thinking maybe we would just say they could wear whatever they like? Has anyone ever been to a wedding where this happened?

An alternative is having some small way of them looking different, for instance, I was thinking of asking my bridesmaids to all wear blue (my something blue!) and maybe we could still get buttonholes for the men, even if they wear their own suits. But I'm not 100% sure about this as maybe them all wearing blue will look visually worse than just totally doing their own thing (if all the blues clash) and maybe buttonholes are unnecessary if we're not really aiming to make the groomsmen look uniform. 

What are your thoughts on this? If you were a bridesmaid/groomsman without a dress code would you still feel 'special'??

Thanks :)


  • I think having the bridesmaids wear a specific colour is a good idea, I'm sure they will all tone together fine, how much can blues really clash with eachother? And I think it's a nice idea to still get the groomsmen buttonholes. I don't think they will mind at all, people generally feel more relaxed wearing their own clothes. And I think it will give your wedding a nice relaxed look!

  • AwhelenqtAwhelenqt Posts: 856 New bride

    I've told my bridesmaids to wear whatever they want as long as it's yellow. Groomsmen are wearing their own suits with no specifications but they'll all wear buttonholes and probably yellow ties

  • Kitty12Kitty12 Posts: 119 New bride

    I went to a wedding where the bridesmaids were all just told to wear a little black dress, then the bride gave them all little posies of daisies to hold on the day. It was a fairly laid back wedding, and it fit with the tone really well, plus the ladies were all happy and comfortable 

  • weatherwaxeweatherwaxe Posts: 848 New bride

    For our wedding party everyone is just being told to wear navy - I think stipulating a colour is a good idea, but other than that we're letting people wear whatever they want. Much less faff and everyone gets an outfit that they're happy with!

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,942 New bride

    My bridesmaids are wearing the same dress (bought second hand, £15 each on eBay!) but can wear their own shoes, have their hair different etc if they like. If you choose a popular style eBay is great as loads of people wear bridesmaid dresses once then flog them. 

    We don't like hired suits, as they are always a very poor fit on my OH and we wouldn't get one to fit FIL. My dad intensely dislikes wearing hired suits too. My OH and his friends all work in the city mainly and all own nice suits, so we are just asking them all to wear one of their own suits, not fussed on colour, though OH's will be navy. Then we are providing matching pocket hankies & ties which we are buying from DQT.

    They will have bouquets/buttonholes, but I'm doing my own flowers so that isn't a huge cost either.

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride

    I don't like the matchy-matchy BM look at all, I personally prefer the coordinated-but-not-matched look.  It allows everyone to wear something that fits their body type, skin tone, and personality.  Some of the prettiest wedding party pictures I've seen have the BMs/ Groomsmen in coordinated but different outfits.

    I know you hear it all the time from brides, "And my girls all loved it!" or "And they all looked beautiful!" referring to the same dress, but I'm sorry, this isn't true. No single dress style and colour is going to look good on several different ladies, and even if it looks ok, there's little chance it suits all their personalities and they all felt comfortable.

    I don't know when you're getting married or where, but you have limitless options going this route. If you're having an autumnal wedding, having your girls wear beautiful shades of fall leaves would look striking. If you're having a formal or evening wedding, some kind of black dress would look lovely. A seaside wedding party would look gorgeous in shades of blues and greens.

    The only stipulation I might consider making with the men is to pick between black or grey suits OR blues and navy suites. I don't think having black suits mixed alongside navy suits or blue suites alongside grey ones would look right in pictures.  Just my opinion, maybe someone has seen it done well.

  • Lucy394Lucy394 Posts: 7

    Some really great suggestions here, thank you! 

  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340 New bride

    I think its a grate idea.  U could maybe narrow it down a bit by asking the guys to wear dark grey or blue suits, n the girls to wear shades of either dark, mid or lite blue so it all blends. 

    I don't think anything can clash as long as you don't have any guys in black, or dresses verging on turquoise/lavendar shades  

  • I feel there's no extra need for dress code on some wedding ceremonies. My sister used to tell her bridemaids to wear blue low knee level dresses and that was perfect. Your bridemaids are inteersted in fitting the wedding and I'm sure they will do everything to find a good piece for that

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