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Finding the right outfit for me - all suggestions appreciated

Morning all. 
I got engaged in October 2017. I am 4 months away from the big day which will be a small ceremony in Queensland, Australia. There will be a total of 16 guests and half of the guests are under 18 (Nephews, partners boys). The ceremony will be outside by the water and I doubt will last more than twenty minutes.
My fiancee and I are on the same page where the wedding is concerned. We want each other to be comfortable and relaxed. Which leads on to me. I am not a girlie girl. In situations like this, I wish I was as I think this would all be easier.
My problems .... and I will type in caps in case all the above is not enough to catch your eyes......
******* I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR********
I never wear dresses. I do not feel comfortable in them generally. I am 5ft 1' and although very overweight, I could do with losing a few pounds. I am not a fan of my upper arms (too bulky) and my legs are not slim. 
My fiancee would be happier for me to wear shorts then a dress if he knew I would be happier and more comfortable..BUT... I was to look feminine and beautiful on the day. For him and me.
I know there is not a lot of time left. I have not been hoping the wedding dress fairy would appear and magically create something for me. I just haven't been able to put my finger on what I want.

What I do know now.
I life the ides of longer sleeves. Not too long. Maybe to the elbow. (Hide those arms :) )
I would like to wear a dress. Not a traditional wedding dress. Thats just not me. However, I don't want to wear trousers as I think I would look to boyish. I am a tomboy at heart.
I spent a bit of time looking at KAFTAN style dresses, but more are see-through and maybe too casual. 
White linen feels quite nice. I have tried on a few. 
My budget is not really an issue however, I would spend £20 if it was right and hundreds if need be. 

Anyway, will all of my waffling, this is me asking you all for ideas. I will look at them all with an open mind. I have googled and googled. I think my eye sight has degraded from starring at the screen for so long. Please help.


  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride
    ASOS sell all sorts including quite casual wedding dresses - why not order a few to try on at home?
  • What about a maxi dress?  It would be lightweight, comfy, and totally beach appropriate. You can dress it up or down as much as you like. It needn't even be white if you don't like white. You could wear a "pashmina" shawl loosely draped on your arms to give a little coverage.
  • Thank you so much for your replies. I know its just two so far but they are ideas I can work with :)
  • OwlOwl Posts: 9 New bride

    If you can consider a budget in the hundreds, have you considered getting something made by a dressmaker? 

    I’m a dressmaker based in Watford and I look at this forum because I’m interested in understanding people’s clothing quandaries.

    Some dressmakers, like me, do bespoke making, and will create a pattern personal to your figure and requirements, and make the dress accordingly. That method means you can have the sleeves, shape, style and fabric etc you want. Others will make from a standard sewing pattern which you choose, so long as you can find a style that has what you want. I suppose that’s more like shopping for a dress, as in you’re restricted to what’s in the pattern books, but you get to decide fabric yourself. That way should be cheaper as they’re not making any patterns.

    If you like loose things like kaftans then that shouldn’t take as long as something like a fitted dress.  Also, you mentioned linen - feels lovely but remember it creases easily, so think about it on photos. If you get something in a natural fibre, it can also be dyed afterwards and worn on holiday maybe?

    If Watford is convenient for you, do get in touch if you want to ask more, but I’m sure you would find someone if you googled for your area, or asked on this forum for recommendations for your area.

    Good luck!
  • Morning
    Thank you for your reply and apologies for my late response. 
    I find your idea intriguing. Do you think three months is enough time to request a made to measure?

    plus, do you have a website?

    many thanks 

  • maroonsunrise09maroonsunrise09 Posts: 1 New bride
    edited May 2019
    Hi Jodie! A beach wedding is a very good idea if you want to marry in summer but I’d like to warn you that your dress (if you finally decide to wear a dress and not something casual) should be not too long. I married 2 years ago at St. Andrew’s beach in Georgia (just have a look at this wonderful place: and had a lot of trouble with my dress and with shoes on high heels (I am much smaller than my husband and I had to wear high heels on the beach). So if your fiancee has understanding for you (BTW this is why you are marrying him, isn’t it?) , it’s up to YOU to decide what to wear. For example, you could choose a white costume.
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