I am having serious dress doubts!

Hi allm I ordered my dress last October and dont get married until May 2009, the reason I done this was because I thought I would be doing us a favour if I got that out of the way at first.



My mam, mil, work mates everyone adore my dress but I dont get that feeling when am in it mainly I think it is because I have seen what others are wearing on here and have started to think that I have jumped the gun.



I asked h2b if I could get another dress which is unfair of me as we have spent over 1k on my dress and accessories so I guess I am going to have to wear this one.



I always thought I wanted a simple traditional looking dress as was told this was what best suits my figure but now I am having doubts and am thinking I want something trendy and up to date. H2b says I am just getting carried away and are forgetting why we are getting married in the first place.



I just feel so confused about many aspects of the wedding and I know I cant afford to change my dress but am worried that if I dont convince myself that I like it that I wont feel right on my wedding day.



Any advice would be grateful xx

Posts

  • JennieBukJennieBuk Posts: 408
    I've done the same, getting married Nov 09 ordered dress Jan 08 !!!!

    I think you are just panicking a bit. What dress have you got???
  • smit218253smit218253 Posts: 95
    if ur noy happy with ur dress u shud change it. Im on my 3rd dress, it was the 1 i wanted originally but over budget, i bought the other 2 but dint feel right in them. i tried to like them but in the end i sold them on e bay and got the 1 i wanted. Should of just bought it in the 1st place!! If u dont feel right on ur day it will spoil it for you. cant the shop let u exchange it for another style in the shop, assuming there are no alterations done yet? Or put it in your ;

    local paper advert for sale, ebay or put it on this site for sale as sum 1 else may want it? x
  • Hi thanks for your replies h2b is adamant I cant change my dress due to costs. The shop wont accept it back and if I sell it on ebay I wouldnt get as near as what I paid for it.



    I do just think I am analysing things too much and its quite traditional looking which is what I always imagined myself in but lately I have begun to think well maybe I should have a bigger dress etc.



    I will post a pic for you to look at it, h2b says I am just too indecisive and mil said if i change my dress whose to say i wil like that one this time next year.



    H2b says I am running away with the wedding in my head and that I have forgot why we are getting married in the first place.



    http://img3013.photobox.co.uk/72066589392d3ac171a18b127d6f4ddc9a0671f9c106a6ce027e1443afbc7ea088996af3.jpg

  • sarahj79sarahj79 Posts: 159
    h2b just doesn't understand about women and clothes, does he?! I can completely understand, i thought i would have to get an unfussy tealength dress because i'm getting married at a registry office, then going to a restaurant after. I didn't think i would be able to swan about London in a big gown... I found some lovely prom style dresses but then i started to worry whether they'd suit me. Now i think hang - i'm only going to get married once, so instead of trying to persuade myself that i want the prom dress, i'm going to go for what i always thought i would wear on my wedding day..



    As for your gown, it really is fab - it's classic and if you go for the latest trend, it may well look dated in years to come in your wedding photos.



    But, if you're not sure, if the bottom line is that you're not happy with the dress, you will not feel comfortable or be able to fully enjoy your big day..
  • JennieBukJennieBuk Posts: 408
    To the future Mrs Brown

    Your dress is beautiful. Pics are quite small, but I've seen it before and think I may have tried similar on. It's very glamorous + I remember it looking good around the bust area. I am feeling the same way - prob cos I've made a decision so early (got 486 days to go!). I think you have answered your own question. You said you are analysing lots of aspects re the wedding! How far are you on with other stuff?

    Venue, music, flowers etc??? Have you had second thoughts about any other aspects of the wedding? You sound like you like your dress - so it's not as if you have gone off your dress, you just think you might fancy another. One other thing, when did you last try your dress on??



    Jenx
  • Hi Jen



    I have just about everything organised get married in May 09 I wanted to get everything sorted price wise so we know where we stood. Its not the first wobble I have had about the dress however the back of the dress is stunning as it opens up and has all the detail on the front on the back and down the train. My mam cried when she saw me in it and my sis said it was stunning. I guess its just cos every wedding pic I have seen lately has had the big tulle wedding dress if you know what I mean and I got it into my head that mine would be old fashioned by next year. I do like the detail on the bust and the way it gathers back round your waist. I last tried it on in May when I got my shoes and the loop got caught on the mirror so I have said that I am not going to try it on now until dress fitting next year as I dont want to chance ripping it



    As for analysing other aspects we already changed our venue due to costs and I have fell in love with chair covers but we are having a debate about them as we have two rooms to decorate but have now decided to just have them downstairs for the meal.



    Changed my colour scheme was having lilac and now am having turquoise blue as just couldnt find the right colour lilac that we wanted and then fell in love with turquoise but now am finding it so hard to find things to match in! x
  • clarekellclarekell Posts: 6,666
    I think your dress is a classic style which won't go out of fashions as quickly as you think!



    How did you feel when you out it on?



    did you feel amazing?



  • ScaffoldScaffold Posts: 34
    You're honestly not alone with the dress doubts. I can't afford another dress either after splashing out on what I thought was a lovely dress 5 months ago when I ordered it. Now I think its dull and boring and does nothing for me at all. Am currently trying to find a dressmaker who might be able to do something to cheer it and me up a bit. xx
  • sarahj79sarahj79 Posts: 159
    I think with the thousands of dresses out there, there will always be other dresses that catch your eye, maybe if we all thought about it too much, we would think we had picked the wrong dress. I know i could waste months of my life looking for the perfect dress, only to keep changing my mind!
  • JennieBukJennieBuk Posts: 408
    I agree with you Sarah! You could go on forever couldn't you? I think that's the only problem if you commit to a dress to soon - you look at others and think 'What If ?? ......"

    Jen
  • Nightingale7Nightingale7 Posts: 262
    I think you've chosen well. Classic is always best - if you think a fashiony dress will look dated now imagine how dated it will look in 20 years' time!



    I love the dress I've chosen but like you I've definitely had wobbles - I think lots of people do.



  • Hi there, this is my first post - been reading the forum for a while but I had to actually reply to this topic becuase I am feeling exactly the same.



    We got engaged a month ago and the wedding is November 4th 2008 - so I haven't had too much time to plan.



    I fell in love with my dress, got it home and now keep trying it on and alternately thinking it is either too fussy or too plain image



    I can't imagine how bad I would be if I had months and months to mull it all over in my mind - sio I've decided that the only thing to do is totally forget about the dress and concentrate on the actual marriage.



    H2B will think I look beautiful even in a potato sack so I feel I'm getting carried away with thinknig about the wedding rather than the marriage and our relationship.



    I don't think there is any woman alive who will be 100% happy with every detail of the wedding 100% of the time. So try not to panic about the dress - it looks beautiful and you know what they say about buying a "trendy" dress, it just makes your kids laugh 20 years down the line when they see the photos! image Classically beautiful is always best, in my opinion anyway:\)



  • I did the same thing. After trying really hard to convince myself the dress was okay (and with lots of help from people on here) I ended up one month before the wedding changing the dress. I cannot tell you how glad I am I did. I think you have to go with your gut as long as you are not just being whimsical or frivilous. Someone else on here asked how you feel in it. Do you feel like a bride? I think the fact that your mother cried says a lot. You may well have the right dress. My suggestion would be to leave it for a while and see if you still feel the same way.

    Good luck!

  • HelenPollyukHelenPollyuk Posts: 338
    My advice would be to simply stop looking at other dresses, you have bought a long way ahead of your wedding so you need to resist temptation! With my wedding I found the more I thought about things the more I started to obsess and doubt creeps in, your dress will look lovely and you must have had that gut feeling to purchase it in the first place? Focus on other areas of your wedding now, and do have breaks from it all as, trust me, it will wear you out !



    Good luck!
  • Hi all thanks for your kind words in answer to your question STBAM and Mountainlovers yes I do feel like a bride in it and I think like most people on here it is a case of maybe I jumped too soon into buying it but subconsciously maybe I knew it was the one. I try not to look at others but its so hard when your on this website and they are so modern and trendy it makes me doubt my choice. I also put it on an earlier post and only got a few replies but loads of people looked at it so I was thinking that they didnt like it or they just didnt want to reply either way is fine as people are entitled to their opinion at the end of the day.



    Thanks to all of you that replied and good luck with your planning. Scaffold am sorry to hear you dont like your dress, can you post a pic for us to see so maybe we can give you some advice?? x
  • Token_bug81Token_bug81 Posts: 266
    Have you tried on any modern styles? I thought thats what I wanted but when I tried them it just wasn't right on me, so have gone for classic shape too, but I'm also customising it a bit.

    Speak to whoever is doing you alterations. I'm having the bodice made into a sweetheart neckline and a matching choker made up to match the dress. This was something I had seen with a different dress style.

    Maybe if you see something you like you could make your dress completely unique to you - then it would be really special, and it's a bit cheaper than a whole new dress!
  • Thanks token bug I didnt even know that you could alter your dress in that way I really do like the sweetheart neckline too. I wont be going for my fitting until mar but maybe I could go through a few suggestions with my dressmaker, x
  • joosebug007joosebug007 Posts: 292
    Hello - just looked at your pics... they're really small but gorgeous!!! I think I've seen your dress in a magazine I've got... it looks gorgeous!!! I think you may be just having a wobble... have you tried it on recently?



    Also the dress is a classic... in 20 years time looking at your pictures you wont think "oh my god what on earth was I wearing???"



    xxx
  • Hi theres a bigger pic later on hun, yeah tried it on with my shoes n its just and so long enough think thats another reason y I am put off my dress isnt very long and my shoes are 2.5 in heel but when both worn together you can see front of my shoe. I dont know if this is right or not and woman in bridal shop said thats fine but you always see pics with dress trailing dont you? x
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