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bridesmaid dilemma!!!

I was originally getting married abroad and had as some of teh people I normally would have had as bmaids couldnt make it I then asked a few friends who were going to be there to be my bmaid so I would have some!!!

Now I am getting married here and have the dilemma that I want to ask my orginal friends to be bmaids and dont really want the other girls!!!

If I have all of the bmaids it will be 7 and I dont want that many!!! I dont know what to do!!!


  • help me!!!

  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    Oh dear, I don't think you can dump your bridesmaids without legitimately causing hurt feelings.

    It's because of stories like this that I have decided not to ask anyone to be my bridesmaid until 6 months before the wedding, when the budget, location, etc, are all finalised, and I can best judge who my real and closest friends are.

    Perhaps you could get your other friends (your "original first choices") to do readings at the ceremony, or sign the resgister, or make a speech at the reception, or be involved in some other special part of the day.

    I do wonder though, if they were such great/close friends, why weren't they going to be at your wedding when it was being held abroad? Don't forget that those "second choice" friends were the ones who were going to make the effort for you. Be careful before you toss them aside, as they sound like true friends to me, and worthy of being your bridesmaids no matter where you have your wedding.

    P.S. This is a lesson to us all on the dangers of choosing bridesmaids or groomsmen just to "make up the numbers"!

    [Modified by: leafy on February 27, 2007 10:47 AM]

    [Modified by: leafy on February 27, 2007 02:50 PM]
  • mrsS1258mrsS1258 Posts: 459
    I have to agree with Leafy on this one im afraid. Unfortunately when you "sub-in" people within the wedding party, you are more than likely going to cause hurt feelings and you could ultimately find yourself back where you started or worse off than before, ie your original choices again cant make it or whatever and by then, the "subs" wont want to know.

    I would just advise you to be very careful where you tread with this one, try and put yourself in your second choice bridesmaid's shoes; if you were them and asked and then, when changed to a more convenient location, you were told you were no longer needed and someone else would be taking your place?! I for one wouldnt be too happy, and it would be blatently obvious what had happened by then. Good luck with whatever you decide x
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