Still haven't found 'THE' dress :-(

I am getting married in June 2017 and have spent the last 5 weeks looking for a dress, I have founds tons that I like but nothing that I really love or can even see me getting married in. I have tried on almost every style of dress, with every fabric and colour option and I am open to all suggestions by the staff in the shops. This weekend is my last chance to go before I go travelling for a month and I am starting to feel under pressure to just settle for something.

Are any other b2bs having this same problem?


  • I had the same problem for my first wedding. Tried on 70+ dresses, hated them all.

    Ended up designing my own and having it professionally made. Hated that too.

    This time I'm just going with something I like - not found that either yet! I'm trying to view it as the same as going to a special event, I'd normally find a dress I was happy enough to wear for that day and that was good enough.

    Depressing as it may seem I don't think "the one" is out there for me. Maybe it's not for you either - but that doesn't mean a dress you hate, you will find something lovely. Have you tried the high street? If you aim for something more evening gown and less wedding dress it might feel more 'you'.

  • Sounds like you're overshopped! Have you managed to get a better idea of what suits you? Did any of them seem almost perfect? 

    I don't think everyone has a 'moment'... I know I didn't! I loved how my dress looked but it was only looking back at all the pictures that I truly saw how incredible it was compared to the others and it was the polar opposite of what I thought I would like! Have you tried something massively out of your comfort zone? Mine is satin which I said I hated and my mum/aunt/sister forced me to try it lol!!

    i would say maybe it's better to go back to your favourite shop/2 shops instead of somewhere new and try the best dresses again? Don't settle but worries I might be settling and since paying the deposit I've been nothing but excited and the love for my dress has grown- I hope it's the same for you!! Xx


  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    I agree - you may not get a moment so don't wait for it. I didn't. I over-shopped and tried on about 80-90 dresses. Slowly narrowed down styles and it ended up being a very thought-out decision, if that makes sense. There was no spontaneity.

    Do you think you have been waiting for a moment?

  • gill17gill17 Posts: 568 New bride

    Pick your top 3 and then make a list of what you dont like about them. If you can get advice of a seamstress, about possibility to customise or change them. I tried on loads and liked them but they just didnt feel like my wedding dress. I ordered mine online and when it came i loved it, once it finally fit I cried, thinking this is the dress i will get married in! 

    I was underwhelmed by dress shopping to be honest, i think its built up too much on tv etc. When was the last time u went to a wedding or saw pics and said 'the dress was awful, the bride looked horriblel'? As long as you are happy, you will be beautiful. If it comes down to it, choose the one u dislike the least, or the cheapest one!

  • Thanks everyone, I am definitely not waiting for that moment. I think I am too sensible and don't let my heart rule my head and I like to carefully think things through. In my first shop I found a designer I liked but thought I knew what style I wanted and would not be swayed to try different shapes since then I have been very open minded and tried on everything from massive ball gowns to very fitted, strapless, sleeves, plain, sparkly, coloured the whole shebang. Name a style and I will have tried it on. 

    I think like Jenni8 it will be a process of elimintaction, I have tried on a few that just looked awful and I  also have a clear idea of what H2B imagines as a wedding dress, which I am pleased about iafter showing him my Pinterest page out of 65 dresses his favourite was my most liked so far, I also found that he didn't like any dresses with sleeves or coloured dresses.

    I am going back to the first shop that I visited on Saturday first to try on different styles that by the designer I liked and then it will hopefully be an easy decision. 

  • Bims09Bims09 Posts: 240 New bride

    I could have written this about one of my close friends - she's getting married next year too and we have spent the last few months visiting dress shops trying to find her "the one". In each shop she finds one that she likes, but not enough to stop looking.

    I understand that it's really hard to commit to one dress, especially when you don't get THAT moment - I didn't! You still have plenty of time so don't panic, you'll find one you love eventually :)

  • Can I ask where you are based? A friend of mine tried on 60+ dresses, and couldn't find 'the one' either.  She ended up finding it in a shop in Birmingham, where they worked backwards with her and essentially 'educated' her on wedding dresses.  This was the first shop I went to when I was looking, and they were SO helpful, they literally got one dress and showed me all different styles from this one, and asked me what I liked, what I didn't like, where I wanted to draw attention to, etc. My dress was from there and ended up being the second dress I tried on! From what I've heard, some bridal shops can be too pushy (or go the opposite way and just let you pick whatever, with no advice).  It might be that you need to try and focus on finding the right bridal shop first, and then find the dress? 

    All of that said, whilst I absolutely fell in love with my wedding dress, when the woman in the shop asked me 'do you have butterflies' I wasn't sure I did. My mum cried and then I cried and I felt really happy in the dress, but I didn't get the tingly feeling that I was expecting. Maybe it's just a case of finding what is best, and not expecting too much from the moment? 

  • I didn't get tingles trying on the sample dress, but when it was my dress they came. I'd expected to have that moment they have in the movies - bride feels faint with butterflies and MOB cries - didn't happen.

    I was told in a shop that I had tried on too many and was there one that I kept thinking about which there was from my 3rd shop. The same shop assistant asked what was wrong with it and I said I just didn't know but I knew it was lacking something - turns out all it was missing was a hooped petticoat! A simple addition of the correct undergarments turned "okay" to "love it", would recommend anyone looking to try gowns with a variety of petticoats as they can transform the shape entirely. 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Yes that is another valid point, maybe none are wowing you because they currently do not fit, and you don't have all your accessories, flowers, make up and hair etc? The transformation of dresses from the worn out sample to the actual dress is quite a lot! Something to consider?

  • I found the dress!!!

    I returned to the shop that I first visited, and pulled out 4 to start with two by Maggie Sottero and 2 other designers that fitted in with my requirements and the second one I tried on was the one. I tried the other 2 on but I knew I had found it. I am so chuffed, I cant stop looking at it online it just looked stunning on. This is one happy bride to be!

  • Bims09Bims09 Posts: 240 New bride

    Wooooo congratulations!! You went full circle and it paid off  can we see a picture? 

  • I did completely change my mind, when I started looking I wanted sheath not fitted and most definitely not strapless. I went for the Maggie Sottero Brigitte, fitted and strapless. I found what i needed to make it perfect was no tulle / netting underneath and I love it!


  • Bims09Bims09 Posts: 240 New bride

    Beautiful! Funny isn't it how you can end up with the opposite of what you wanted? 

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