Makeup bridemaid

hiya just wanted some advice as im a bridesmaid for my fiancée brothers wedding, the bride has said she is having very natural makeup and I've said is she ok with me having glam as that is how I like my makeup anyway, she said yeah have it how I want to. Day before the wedding (today) I've showrd the makeup artist what I wanted and she said it was for more of a night out (which I don think it) then I asked the bride again after she had seen what I wanted it like and said its lovely go for it she had now said it is too much. so I've asked if a friend of mine can do it for me as she's doing my hair as I won't be comfortable with hardly any makeup on (I don't have the best skin) am I in the wrong here? As she has said it was fine before 


  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,483 New bride

    Ultimately it is her day and whilst she can't 100% dictate to you what you wear make up wise, I think the fact that she is saying it is too heavy is probably something you need to heed and respect her decision.  You are going to be in the pictures, and perhaps she feels that your make up is going to detract from her, or not fit in with the style of the day.  I doubt she will want you to feel uncomfortable though- there is plenty of cover up make up that doesn't look hugely heavy.  

  • I think it's important to feel comfortable but also important that no one else stands out over the bride if at all possible. It is possible to have somewhere in between natural and glam. Obviously it's hard to say without knowing what you/ her both want, but I do believe the glam kind of make up one might chose for a night out would look inappropriate for part of the wedding party unless all were the same. 

    See if there is a middle ground perhaps?

  • I've said ill tone it down but she isn't a makeup wearing girl anyway and I am, i spoke to her about it months ago and she was fine with it it didn't bother, the eye look I want is just a smokey eye with eyeliner and I said inwouldntone it down but I'd like my friend to do it instead as her makeup artist has made it clear I can't have more than the bride which is fair enough but I like what I like and she knew how I wanted it and was ok with it 

  • AlisonMaryAlisonMary Posts: 210

    Agree with both of the above. 

    You can still have full coverage make up without necessarily going all out glam. 

    Natural doesn't have to mean sheer. x

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 837 New bride

    It is a bit annoying that she initially said fine, but to be honest, I'd just tone down my make up as it's not my day. She probably has enough stress going on and you can make her life that little bit easier. As said above, you can still get a good coverage without going so glam. She may not have thought about it as a whole. As it's the day before the wedding I'd let her have what she wants and not add any stress.

  • Helen225Helen225 Posts: 861 New bride

    I have exactly this with one of my BMs. For me, it's also about you standing out against the three other BMs that wear even less than me day to day (one has never worn mascara as an example). Tone it down, it's not about you. 

  • I honestly don't know why she would ask you to tone it down when she should know if that is how you always have your make up. I don't know why some brides want to change their maids for a sake of a few pictures! 

  • Does it matter a huge amount to you? More than it does to her? If so, explain why you feel that way to her but prepare yourself for a frosty response. If not, tone it down and let it go. It's not worth the aggravation. What is only one day to you is the most important day imaginable to her.

    For the record, my best women can do whatever they like for hair/make up. I'm not bothered myself as long as they're happy. However, I've had ringlets, false eyelashes and mint green metallic eyeshadow as a bridesmaid before (I consider lip balm 'done up'). I'd do it again tomorrow, the bride was happy and it wasn't about me.

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    If you're not keen on your skin you can still have her makeup artist do a very full coverage base but keep it looking natural And not caked on, overly contoured etc. I personally think if everyone else is fairly natural or muted then your smokey eye and eyeliner is going to stand out quite a lot. As long as you feel comfortable with your skin base, I'd agree to tone down your eye makeup so it's in line with what the others are having. It's one day and your makeup probably would outdo the brides by the sound if it at least in photos. Maybe have the eyeliner but no smokey shadow, dark smokes arent very wedding-y generally so I can understand why the makeup artist has said this and the bride may not have realised until someone more professional has pointed it out, particularly if she doesn't wear much herself. 

  • AlisonMaryAlisonMary Posts: 210
    Gemma321 wrote (see post):

    I honestly don't know why she would ask you to tone it down when she should know if that is how you always have your make up. I don't know why some brides want to change their maids for a sake of a few pictures! 

    She is hardly asking her to dye her hair or cover her tattoos or lose weight. 

    She has just asked her to tone her make up down. 

    If the bride is going natural, and the other BMs, the OP would stick out like a sore thumb with contour, heavy eye make up etc. 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Tone the make up down. The bride may not wear a lot of make up but after the trial and reflection has decided your ultra glam won't fit with the overall look of the day. It why we have trials, to make sure it's the look we want. She could be asking for a lot worse! 

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    Just do it. It's hardly a bridezilla ask, she just changed her mind, probably after a trial and proper discussion with the make up artist. Part of being a bridesmaid is doing as the bride wants, within reason, and this is definitely within reason 

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