Wearing white at someone else's wedding

Ok ladies you are going to really have to forgive me. I'm on to mini meltdown number 2, IN THE SAME DAY!!!!

So a couple of weeks ago my fmil showed me a pic of the outfit she planned to buy for our wedding. At the time time I said how nice it was etc etc because it really was. It wasn't until today it actually occurred to me, IT'S ALL WHITE. And I don't mean white with a pattern I mean totally and completely white.

It's not a dress it's more of a jumpsuit with baggy legs but it's still all white.

Am I being a complete cow here? I thought it was just a rule not to wear white to someone else's wedding?

Posts

  • I wouldn't say you were being a cow.... I had a word with my mother & mil to advise of the colours I would prefer for them not to wear, as they'll be in a lot of pics, so wouldn't want them clashing with the main wedding party.  This came about because my mum showed me a dress she loved, and like you, I really liked it, but it instantly clicked to advise her straight away (then I text MIL) requesting not to wear full colours of my colour scheme.

    Has she bought it now?  Maybe you could just have a word and tell her how you feel about her wearing white.

    At the end of the day, we cannot tell people what not to wear, but you would think it would come naturally to not wear white to someone's wedding (as MIL or guest)

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    I think this is a personal thing but generally I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding, especially if it was a jumpsuit. If it was lace and white then that would be a big no no and I would probably say something. 

    I really wouldn't worry, it will be obvious you are the bride so don't stress about it. 

  • I messaged her today to ask her to send a pic as I couldn't remember if it actually was white but it was. She says she can't find it anywhere yet so hasn't bought it.

    I have spoke to my fiance who is going to have a word about colour scheme etc. I think I feel worse because I've already said how nice it was. I can't believe I didn't twig on about the colour.

    If I'm honest I had just never thought about speaking to people about colours as I never expected anyone would choose white xx

  • bella2015 wrote (see post):

    I think this is a personal thing but generally I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding, especially if it was a jumpsuit. If it was lace and white then that would be a big no no and I would probably say something. 

    I really wouldn't worry, it will be obvious you are the bride so don't stress about it. 

     

  • It is a jumpsuit but it does have a lace top x

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I dont have issues with the mums wearing white/ivory, as long as it doesnt look like a wedding dress (my mum wanted a low back ivory tulle fishtail dress...), because theyre part of the wedding.

    Its different to a guest wearing white, where it just looks attention seeking.

  • CFWCFW Posts: 234

    I am sorry I would be the same... white is such a NO-NO for a wedding!! I just think, of all the colours in the universe, why would you pick to be the same colour as the bride on her wedding day?!? Although, with MOBs the rules are a little different because some brides like the mums to be in similar colour scheme but if you didn't want that I would absolutely put your foot down and I also disagree with not being able to tell them they can't wear white... its your wedding, your rules!! lol. 

  • CFW wrote (see post):

    I am sorry I would be the same... white is such a NO-NO for a wedding!! I just think, of all the colours in the universe, why would you pick to be the same colour as the bride on her wedding day?!? Although, with MOBs the rules are a little different because some brides like the mums to be in similar colour scheme but if you didn't want that I would absolutely put your foot down and I also disagree with not being able to tell them they can't wear white... its your wedding, your rules!! lol. 

     

  • I'm glad I'm not the only one. I was starting to think I was being an absolute cow lol. A coupl3 of people I have spoke to in real life also agree that white is a no no.

    Like you say, of all the colours. It's not like I've even asked people to try and fit in the colour scheme, just not white lol xx

  • I think you're well within your rights to suggest to fmil that, as nice as the outfit is, you'd prefer it if she wore a different colour. I agree that people won't think she's the bride but like you said, of all the colours in the world! 

    I didn't allow myself to wear a dress to a wedding I attended recently as it was white (with lots of black floral detail so not bridal at all) just in case it didn't bode well with the bride. It's common courtesy!

  • Yeah, personally I think that wearing white at someone else's wedding is just not on! I mean, if the day arrived and it happened (provided it wasn't a long white lace dress!) I'm not sure I'd be overly bothered by that point, but as mentioned above, there are soooo many other colours out there to choose from! It's awkward for the person/gues/mother of bride or groom who's wearing white too! X

  • I don't think you're overreacting either. When you get pictures done together itd look a bit odd. I'm going shopping with my FMIL for her outfit so hopefully she picks a nice vibrant colour which I'm sure she will. 

    Do you think she would be upset if you said No? She might also not have twigged on to the colour!

  • I'm not sure tbh. It's probably just me blowing it all out of proportion. I am a real people pleaser and really don't want to say anything. I'm not that close with her, and certainly not to the point we would go shopping together.

    My fiance said he is happy to speak with her but I know what he's like, he will probably put in in an awful sounding way lol. Then I'm going to look two faced like I've told him he has to xx

  • Oh goodness no! Who wears white to someone else's wedding?? I totally understand the WTF moment! 

    It might be awkward to bring the topic up, but I'm sure if it's explained to her she will understand. She can always buy the outfit and dye it a fabulous colour! 

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