How do you know?!?

I had my first day of wedding dress shopping on Saturday and whilst it was such a lovely experience it was also very stressful and now I'm not sure what to do!

In my first appointment, the shop was very lovely and helped me narrow down the styles that suited me. I went in with the impression that i would like a lace, sheath style gown but it turns out the A-line or princess dresses seem to suit me the best. There was one dress that when i put on I felt teary and when i stepped out both my mum and sister cried. I felt lovely in it and it was gorgeous - albeit nothing I would have ever picked. As it was the first shop i went in to i didn't want to commit quite yet and was told I was welcome to come back for it...

The second shop was very stressful and most of the dress samples were too small so i was constantly breathing in and feeling fat (i'm a UK size 12 why are all the samples like an 8 or small 10?!?!) - adding to that i didn't even really see one I was mad for. When we left I kept thinking about the first dress. Looking at it online, I just don't think it seems anything special or that lovely but it really was lovely on. I think im doubting it as i see so many dresses and think WOW and that dress - off the hanger - doesnt make me feel wow although on I feel lovely. How do you know if you've found the one? By all counts, i felt emotional, it incited tears from my entourage.... but what if there's something better?? Has anyone else felt this? Not sure whether to make more appointments or just go abck and buy!?

 

Posts

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 405 New bride

    I only visited 2 wedding dress shops in the end. I had it in my head I wanted an A-line dress, no train, chiffon skirt, lace detail top, had to have straps, no lace up back. In the first shop I went to I found that the style I was after didn't really suit my shape, so I kept looking. 

    In the second shop the first dress I tried on was really plain, had a train and had no lace or chiffon in sight and really looked like nothing on the hanger, but I felt so comfortable in it and even I will admit it flattered my rather curvy figure. Then I tried on another few dresses, finishing with "THE" dress (or so I thought). The only problem was that it was sheer at the back and so I would need a lining adding at the back so that I could wear a bra (I wasn't prepared to go braless). So we booked to go back in 2 weeks to try the dress on again. 

    By the time I went back to try on "THE"  dress I was torn between that one and the plain one. I'd shown my friend the plain one, but I could only find it on a manequin and her initial reaction was "it's a bit plain". But when I tried it on she cried. There was just no comparison I felt a lot more comfortable and happier about myself in the "plain" dress, so I bought it. 

    On the day I felt amazing and everyone complimented the dress. Honestly who is going to see it on the hanger anyway? Your guests won't!

  • I ended up with the first dress I tried on. On the hanger it looked like nothing at all, I only added it to my 'to try' list because it was the only tea length dress that I had seen on my browse and I wanted to try a shorter dress just to see. I thought I would try it first to get it over with and then I could move on to the collection of ballgowns that I thought I wanted.

    I ended up comparing every single dress I tried on to the first dress and nothing felt as 'right'. It also looked awful on the model when I was looking at pictures of it afterwards.

    I think it literally is how it makes you feel. My dress is nothing like I thought I wanted and just it made perfect sense when I tried it on. I left it for a few weeks to mull it over and I did experience a few dress wobbles. But I went and tried it on again this weekend. Still perfect, I still feel wonderful in it, so I finally bit the bullet and paid for it.

  • MrsNH17MrsNH17 Posts: 559 New bride

    I went to three shops - in the first I saw a strong contender, in the second I found my dress and in the third I found nothing as nothing was comparing to my dress but I still tried loads on so as to have tried a variety. I did go back to the first shop to try on the “strong contender” but that made me know my dress was the one.

    my mum had cried at both strong contender and my dress - but when we put strong contender back on they were like what do you reckon. And i said you say .....and they were all I like the other one it was amazing. And I did too! So off I went to get my dress. Now I am not the type of person who gets emotional about dresses so I didnt cry etc, but I knew my dress looked lovely on, suited me, I felt really special and comfortable and to me that’s what it is about- how you feel in it. If you know it looked lovely on, felt really happy in it and special then that is fantastic- sometimes you just have to accept you were lucky in finding your dress early! I was super pleased in finding my dress quite early on - I couldn’t really be bothered traipsing around forever (but in those three shop visits I did try on LOADS of different styles, materials, level of detail etc so I could be sure I felt I’d given everything a go. I even tried on a few totally wild choices for banter, one of which I loved on but could not walk in lol!). I never ever changed my mind on my dress either as (a) I didn’t look at anything else but (b) I’m quite decisive anyway so knew I was happy. 

     

  • If you've only started trying on dresses - and you aren't on a tight timeframe - definitely don't go back right away, and definitely don't go back and buy that dress.  You seem to have more of a "hunch" that this is the dress than a passion. Granted, I never had that "OMG this is THE ONE" feeling on a dress (and I've been married before) and you might not either, but you definitely don't need to be putting pressure on yourself to settle down on a dress this early in the shopping process.

    If you have time, take it. Browse magazines, check out Pinterest, and don't hit the shoppes again for a while. Let your ideas simmer and take your time. Entirely too many brides buy too early and regret not taking their time - worse yet, the ones that buy something they don't love & end up back on here selling their first dress for a steep discount.

  • kenzkenz Posts: 10
    Have you got any pictures of the first dress or know the designer? it might be helpful to look at similar designers/dresses online first then book another 1/2 appointments.
    CFW wrote (see post):

    I had my first day of wedding dress shopping on Saturday and whilst it was such a lovely experience it was also very stressful and now I'm not sure what to do!

    In my first appointment, the shop was very lovely and helped me narrow down the styles that suited me. I went in with the impression that i would like a lace, sheath style gown but it turns out the A-line or princess dresses seem to suit me the best. There was one dress that when i put on I felt teary and when i stepped out both my mum and sister cried. I felt lovely in it and it was gorgeous - albeit nothing I would have ever picked. As it was the first shop i went in to i didn't want to commit quite yet and was told I was welcome to come back for it...

    The second shop was very stressful and most of the dress samples were too small so i was constantly breathing in and feeling fat (i'm a UK size 12 why are all the samples like an 8 or small 10?!?!) - adding to that i didn't even really see one I was mad for. When we left I kept thinking about the first dress. Looking at it online, I just don't think it seems anything special or that lovely but it really was lovely on. I think im doubting it as i see so many dresses and think WOW and that dress - off the hanger - doesnt make me feel wow although on I feel lovely. How do you know if you've found the one? By all counts, i felt emotional, it incited tears from my entourage.... but what if there's something better?? Has anyone else felt this? Not sure whether to make more appointments or just go abck and buy!?

     

     

  • CFWCFW Posts: 234

    Thank you so much everyone for the replies! I feel much less panicked now! MrsNH - its so reassuring to know you've gone through almost same ordeal with trying on dresses! You are right, at the end of the day its how you feel in it.. and i did love it on! 

    Kittyfiennes.. i would like to say i have lots of time but unfortunately i recently discovered i am pregnant so have about 2 month timeframe before bump shows... which means I hopefully need to find it soon. It also makes the dress shopping slightly harder as I will only have 4 months after baby is born to get ready for wearing it so hopefully can find something that could be 'forgiving'! 

    Thanks Kenz! It was actually a Rebecca Ingram dress - Isolde! It looks nothing on the photo but the delicate lace pattern on the organza and the cinched in waist etc looks lovely! 

    I've made another appointment for end of the week and another next week - if nothing matches the feeling then I am done and going back for that dress! :) 

  • Well congrats on the baby!!!  That's a huge big deal (and probably more exciting than a wedding).

    I'm not sure what style you were contemplating, but if I could suggest an A-line, they are universally flattering. The last thing you'll need is to worry about how your dress is going to look/ fit when going through the adjustment of adding a baby to your lives and finishing up the last stages of wedding planning.  Rebecca Ingram makes some lovely ones too.

    Happy days ahead for you dear

  • CFWCFW Posts: 234

    Ok -I'm having a mini mental breakdown now at dress shopping!! I have been to one other shop since my first two appointments and none of them really came close to being "the one". I think I am struggling to let go of my dream dress style and embrace the a-line/ballgown style which clearly suits me better and makes me feel more comfortable. I am trying to schedule more appointments in December but its tricky to find time off work with me, bms or mob! I want to find the dress before I start showing so starting to panic now. Maybe the first dress was the one??? I don't know what to do!! argh!!

  • HelenNHelenN Posts: 131 New bride

    My dress was the one I didn't want to take off, I could have paraded around the shop in it for hours...that's how I knew.

     

    It was the last dress I tried on in the first shop (I only went to two). I loved it but i'd already booked another appointment a week later so thought i'd wait and see what they had. I found a stunning dress in the second shop that was so much different to the first and for a while I was torn between the two (as it'd been over a week and I couldn't quite remember the detail of the first). So I went back to the first shop the same day and tried on my dress again. I knew straight away it was the one.

    It was from an outlet and i've seen found it online. If i'd have seen it online first I wouldn't have looked twice at it, it doesn't look much at all. But when I put it on with my hair done and added a belt, I feel beautiful ❤️

  • kenzkenz Posts: 10
    Did you manage to find something ? Where have you been so far ? 
    I had my first appointment today at Elie blue bridal and I found my dress, like someone else mentioned it was the one I didn't want to take off. 
    xx
    CFW wrote (see post):

    Ok -I'm having a mini mental breakdown now at dress shopping!! I have been to one other shop since my first two appointments and none of them really came close to being "the one". I think I am struggling to let go of my dream dress style and embrace the a-line/ballgown style which clearly suits me better and makes me feel more comfortable. I am trying to schedule more appointments in December but its tricky to find time off work with me, bms or mob! I want to find the dress before I start showing so starting to panic now. Maybe the first dress was the one??? I don't know what to do!! argh!!

     

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,440

    It doesn't matter If you have been to just one shop or 27... If you find the one - that's it.

    I only went to one shop and found mine, it was the first one I tried on.

    Sounds like, you found it in the first shop!

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