Its all in the little details - AIBU?

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  • I think as you are not paying for them then you need to be happy with what she gets. Its fair enough that she only wants her child to wear a certain brand. I think they are lovely and wouldnt expect shoes to tie in with the colour scheme necessarily anyway. Ivory shoes would look dirty quickly and likely never get reworn! I'm sure they will be barely noticeable in pics

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 703 New bride

    No I think it’s fair to say they are absolutely hideous! 

    Why can’t her child wear other branded shoes? You can get gorgeous Spanish shoes that are properly fitted. I’d offer to pay for an alternative and say they just aren’t fitting for your vision and will stand out like a sore thumb on photos

    x

  • I think it's always hard to remember that your wedding day may be one of the most important days for you and your fiance, but not necessarily for anyone else. :)

    Your SIL-to-be may not even know or remember your colour scheme - and by themselves the shoes go really well with the dress so they shouldn't stand out in any bad way at all.

  • I perosnally don’t think the shoes are THAT bad, but do agree that they don’t really fit with the dress/colour scheme. 

    I would tell her now, rather than later if you want to buy diffrent shoes your FG as she may return these if she’s only bought them for your wedding.

    Maybe just say that although the shoes are nice, they don’t fit as well as you’d hoped with the colour scheme. Tell her you’d be happy to buy the shoes and her daughter is welcome to wear them around the house before the wedding to check they that are comfortable since they aren’t the brand she’s used to.  

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 828 New bride

    I think her saying her child can only wear one brand of shoes is silly and OTT on her part. I would maybe challenge that and ask her why. 

    I had a quick glance and found these on the clarks website: 

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Ivy-Blossom-Junior/p/26123689

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Drew-Sky/p/26135873

    I would either buy her one of these or if Clarks really isn’t an option, buy another pair and text her saying don’t worry, it’s sorted, I’ve bought the shoes that she’ll be wearing. 

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  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 828 New bride
    August2018Bride wrote (see post):
    MrsTracey wrote (see post):

    I think her saying her child can only wear one brand of shoes is silly and OTT on her part. I would maybe challenge that and ask her why. 

    I had a quick glance and found these on the clarks website: 

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Ivy-Blossom-Junior/p/26123689

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Drew-Sky/p/26135873

    I would either buy her one of these or if Clarks really isn’t an option, buy another pair and text her saying don’t worry, it’s sorted, I’ve bought the shoes that she’ll be wearing. 

    Thank you for your response and having a search. I did see these but unfortunately her size is not stocked. She's a 7.5. 

     

    Oh that's a shame! Hmm I would still be inclined to shop elsewhere and she'll have to get on with it! It's the week before the wedding so to save you time and stress I'd just explain to her that we don't really have time to go back and forth now. But maybe I'm too harsh haha 😂

  • Sorry, but IMO trying to control the shoes of a 7 Year Old is total brideszilla territory.  I can't even remember what shoes my bridesmaids were wearing, let alone the flower girl.  

    Trust me on the day you will be so happy you won't give a shit.  😀

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  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 828 New bride
    August2018Bride wrote (see post):
    MrsTracey wrote (see post):
    August2018Bride wrote (see post):
    MrsTracey wrote (see post):

    I think her saying her child can only wear one brand of shoes is silly and OTT on her part. I would maybe challenge that and ask her why. 

    I had a quick glance and found these on the clarks website: 

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Ivy-Blossom-Junior/p/26123689

    https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Drew-Sky/p/26135873

    I would either buy her one of these or if Clarks really isn’t an option, buy another pair and text her saying don’t worry, it’s sorted, I’ve bought the shoes that she’ll be wearing. 

    Thank you for your response and having a search. I did see these but unfortunately her size is not stocked. She's a 7.5. 

     

    Oh that's a shame! Hmm I would still be inclined to shop elsewhere and she'll have to get on with it! It's the week before the wedding so to save you time and stress I'd just explain to her that we don't really have time to go back and forth now. But maybe I'm too harsh haha 😂

    I am just tempted to get a pair and be like, she can wear her own shoes after the formal photos...sorted 🤷‍♀️ it's only for a few hours. 

    People here have said well you won't remember etc but when I look through the photos I will most certainly remember lol I dunno it does seem so trivial...as I said I'm torn. 

    Maybe I'm petty 😂 But for me it's more about how controlling your SIL seems, and how difficult! The fact she has to wear Clarks seems so silly - and especially if it's for image reasons and not for comfort/foot health etc. I think buying a pair that youd like for ceremony and photos and then saying she can change is a good compromise. It's not unheard of for the bride to decide on flower girl shoes so don't worry, you're not a bridezilla 😉

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  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 703 New bride
    TeamJamiesonLowe wrote (see post):

    Sorry, but IMO trying to control the shoes of a 7 Year Old is total brideszilla territory.  I can't even remember what shoes my bridesmaids were wearing, let alone the flower girl.  

    Trust me on the day you will be so happy you won't give a shit.  😀

    I would totally give a shit. All I’d be able to see on the photos would be those shoes they don’t go with the dress at all. It’s not bridezilla it’s just the mother being awkward. 

  • Looks like you've made up your mind then, regardless of what is said here. If it's that big an issue to you then you need to sort new shoes and ask for them to be worn during ceremony and photos. 

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  • Mrs2018Mrs2018 Posts: 398

    These are available in a 7.5 and as it's only a week away they do next day delivery! 

    I wouldn't have in a million years picked those shoes to go with that dress! They are way to dark! image

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  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,135 New bride

    She sounds like a control freak. If she’s so worried about your stress levels and health then just let you choose the shoes - I’m sure her daughter can cope for one day in shoes that aren’t perfect / branded, most kids take them off and run barefoot after a while anyway! There is no way the dark ones are appropriate especially given your colour scheme and whilst it isnt the end of the world, I think it sounds like she’s being deliberately difficult. I‘d tell her you’re happy to buy and her source a pair of shoes for the flower girl that she is happy with up to X amount in Ivory/pale colours and then leave it to her, and tell her if she can’t then she’ll need to wear the perfectly fine Clarks ones you’ve found. 

    Enjoy your wedding and good luck with your pregnancy!

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