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Should the MOB wear cream/ivory?

I know this is going to sound Bridzillaery but is it unreasonable of me to expect my mum not to wear cream/ivory to my wedding especially if she is walking me down the aisle?

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  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,107 New bride

    I think it's an unspoken rule not to wear white or cream to a wedding. 

    One of our guests wore a cream lace knee length dress. I can't say I noticed on the day but a few people laughingly told me afterwards how weird they thought she was. Looking back at photos it doesn't bother me but she was laughed at by quite a few guests and others felt embarrassed for her (or at least so I was told afterwards)

    If your mum wants to wear cream or ivory maybe have a gentle chat with her and suggest that some of your guests might think it's a bit strange. 

  • I’m going shopping with my mum for her outfit. As she prefers trousers I’m going to try and persuade her to wear some white/ivory trousers with a pink top and pink jacket. she usually wears dark colour trousers but she wants to try something different so I’m not too bothered. However if she wanted to wear an ivory/white dress then that would be a no no. It’s all personal preference really

  • You're not being bridezilla at all. There are plenty of other colours she can wear. Wearing white or ivory to someone else's wedding is never ok x

  • Full outfit might be a bit much... If she has her heart set on it, maybe a white/ivory dress with a different colour jacket, or vice versa?

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,357 New bride

    My mum has bought an ivory dress which she said she would wear a navy jacket with. I’ve told her absolutely not and if she insists then she won’t be walking me down the aisle. It actually caused an argument between us today. She has a choice of 6 outfits, every suggestion I made she shot me down. As far as she is concerned she is wearing the dress! 😡😡😡

  • My mum wore a cream and navy dress with an ivory jacket and it looked lovely. I agree a full ivory outfit might blend in with yours a bit too much. is the dress shorter and structured?  It sounds fine if so, if its long and floaty maybe not. My aunt wore a full cream outfit to our wedding and I didn't even notice till I saw the pics and it didn't bother me one bit. It was just a nice formal outfit, with a fascinator and a colourful handbag there's no way it looked bridal. Another guest also wore a short cream dress, again looked fine. Unless someone else turns up in a wedding dress, wearing a veil and other bridal paraphernalia I don't think you should worry x 

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    My Mum’s outfit is a white dress and jacket. The bottom part of the skirt is a grey/silver pattern which is matched on the cuffs of the white jacket. When I first saw it I was a bit like ”oh“ as I just wouldn’t have expected her to choose something that was quite as stark white (I was expecting a champagne or pale silver etc). I think a fully white outfit would be a bit much but accessorised or accented by other colours I think it’s fine. Absolutely nobody will mistake the mother of the bride in an ivory formal outfit (presumably not a long floaty number) for the actual bride in a wedding dress. My mum is actually wearing more white than me as I have a sort of champagne / blush colour dress. Does it really matter? You won’t care a bit on the day and it won’t take anything away from you. It might actually look quite nice in photos! Don’t let it cause you unnecessary upset at this stage. Even if your Mum wore something different there’s no guarantee a guest won’t turn up in something “inappropriate”. I think it’s odd your Mum is sticking to her guns so much if you’re clearly so upset - but perhaps it’s the only thing she really loves and feels great herself in and at this stage is worried she won’t find anything better. If she’s chosen it because she loves and feels comfortable in it, I’d quit arguing and let her enjoy the day in something she likes. If there is any side eye glancing or judgment it will be firmly focused on her not you.

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    I think it’s fine- personally it normally makes the person wearing white/cream look a but silly more than anything else.

    Try to not fall out with your mum so close to the day- you have enough on your plate. Depending on her relationship with Andrew could he explain to her that you’re upset? Might help her if she hears it from another person 

  • Generally I would say definitely not. Not unless you asked her to. It's just not what the etiquette dictates. And I totally understand why you are upset.

    My mum is wearing a white dress with pink flowers. And at first honedtly I went a little Bridezilla and was miffed. Eventhough it definitely doesn't look like a bridal gown.

    However like others said, I honestly don't think it will distract from you being the bride. Especially if she accessories it with navy and wears a navy jacket. It will actually probably look better in pictures than a dark dress for instance. 

    Like others have said I wouldnt start a fight about it with her. Tell her you are dissappointed vut accept her chouxe. Then move on. It's the best you can do for your own sanity.

  • My wedding colour scheme is white and gold so I would actually love my mum to wear white on my wedding day! However she is the only exception and that's cos she's my mumma haha anyone else... God help ya

  • Becky111Becky111 Posts: 210 New bride

    Ok the bride in me is saying your mum is being very unreasonable. 

    The daughter in me is saying that if my mum found an outfit she loved and felt comfortable in, I'd just be happy that she feels comfy and confident. 

    The facts are -

    - No one is really going to be looking at her. You're the star of the show so to speak. 

    - She's pairing it with a navy jacket which will completely change the look of it. 

    - You're so close to the wedding. Is it really worth falling out with your mum over and causing unnecessary stress? You're not letting her off with it you're just allocating your emotions to being happy that you will soon be marrying your soul mate. This should be enjoyable. 

    Just tell her you are really disappointed she isn't considering your feelings but you don't want to fall out with her over it and you have better things to be doing than dealing with her. 

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,350 New bride

    My mum wore a white lace dress with a pink cardigan for my wedding. We went shopping together for her outfit and it was by far the most beautiful outfit she tried on. It flattered her so much and she looked amazing in it. She had my full blessing to wear that dress.

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,760 New bride

    As before, if it's structured and she's wearing a navy jacket it's not going to look anything like a wedding dress - I really wouldn't fall out with your mum over it. 

    I wouldn't be bothered if my mum wore that tbh. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the groom's aunty wore a cream maxi dress with lace panels and a cream shawl, but it still didn't look bridal and it was very obvious she wasn't the bride. It was quite Per Una if you know what I mean!

  • My mum wanted to wear an ivory dress with black jacket and accessories.  She asked me if I minded and of course I didn't.  It's not as if anyone would have mistaken her for the bride!!

    I really don't see it as a big deal at all.

    In the end though, due to the bridal shop messing up massively (and trying to pass off an actual cut up wedding dress as her MOB outfit), she ended up with something in a completely different colour.

  • HanlawHanlaw Posts: 31

    I think your mum should have consulted you first! By the end of the day it is your wedding. If you feel uncomfortable with her in a white dress it wouldnt hurt for her to go in a different colour.

    But on the other hand, I am not very bridezilla when people wear white to a wedding cause it is very obvious who the bride is! I think on their daughters wedding day MOB also feel pressured about how they look, so she could feel uncomfortable being told how to dress. 

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