who should come?

Hi, new to the site and in a dilemma! had origionally started to plan a wedding at home, having a civil ceremony and reception at a hotel in my home town and have just recently thought about going to New York for our marriage as both me and h2b are sex and the city fans and fancied a service in central park like Miranda's (for any watchers out there)

the problem is that we'd like to go with a few close friends and my brother in law and sister in law, but not invite the parents. ( oh my god, sounds so bad writing it down)

james and I have been together for 7 years at the end of this year and have a 2 year old son, and although we love him dearly and at the risk of sounding selfish,

we know that a wedding in NY would not be the same if we had the stresses of settling him into a routine for only 5 days, running around after him and dealing with a terrible 2 year olds tantrums, (which are plentyful at the minute)

so the idea is that he can stay with both sets of grandparents while we go and get hitched and then to have a nice reception in our garden when we get back. then we can take a family holiday with our son to relieve any guilt that we may have!

I really don't want to upset anyone and don't know how well my folks will take the news.

Any advice you can give or if you've been in a similar situation let me know.

Stressed out and scared!



  • hannbloomhannbloom Posts: 19
    Hi Dancin Queen,

    What a problem! I think that you may make more problems for yourself though by not inviting your parents especially seeing as you are inviting other family members and even close friends ahead of them. I have a 3 year old and we deliberated what to to regarding taking her with us or leaving her behind with someone because we will have a 12 hour flight to Mauritius to contend with as well as all the stress of looking after her once we're there.

    However we decided that it was important to us that she as well as any family who could afford should be there to celebrate our big day. Maybe you could ask your family and friends who will be with you to take a turn at minding your child even for a few hours each day which we have and that will ease the stress and have someone solely resopsible for him on your big day (getting him ready, keeping him happy during the ceremony etc)

    Hope this helps

  • clairedukclaireduk Posts: 22
    Thanks, you've given me some food for thought!

    i would love our parents and warren (my little boy) to be there but james is more reluctant. he doesn't like my parents (nothing major, just in law difference of opinions on things) and although we've been together for so long our parents have only been in the same room as each other on a couple of occasions, so i'm worried about how they'd get on! James's mum is chair bound with MS and I wonder if the journey would be too much for her aswell.

    I know that you often have to compramise on your wedding plans, but to what extent?
  • hannbloomhannbloom Posts: 19
    Why not chat things over with James. If you are happy enough for them to be there then ask them to come but make it clear that if for whatever reason they cannot come then you understand and maybe then you could ask them to look after Warren for you. We asked both sets of parents but only my H2B's parents are coming but we still decided to take our daughter even though there would have been someone here to look after her.
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