Party back home after wedding abroad???

Since announcing where running off to Cyprus next year to get married

(mostly cos its what we want, the beach front vows, the sunset reception, but also cos we dont want to pay out for people we never see or hear from to get drunk on our night!)

everyones reaction is either 'but what about us?' or 'so you'll be having a reception party back here after then?'

and i feel a bit miserable saying no!

who is and who isnt having another party afterwards?

is it the norm to have a party for those you left behind? lol! x

[Modified by: pinkypie74 on 10 January 2010 15:45:11 ]


  • Hi,

    I feel the same as you, people just assume you will be having a party when you come back. My h2b is from Edinburgh and I am from Aberdeen so people were always going to have to travel (ok so going to Florida was not exactly what people were expecting but its what we want). Anyway we decided we would make the decision on whether or not to have a party based on the number of people who could make it. As is stands we have a large number of people coming and all immediate family members and friends are coming so we will not be having a party back at home. Unless I really want an excuse to wear my dress again ;\) x
  • Hi, we always knew we wanted a party when we came back, especially because not many of our family can come to cyprus. We arnt spending alot of money on it though, just £125 room hire and £130 for the dj then afew decorations. My MIL2B is making us a cake for it and were going to have a second first dance. Most importantly i get to wear my dress again!!!! YAY!!!!!
  • camillarose1camillarose1 Posts: 6,254
    hiya hun, we arent sure. h2b doesnt want one as the whole point in us goin abroad is basically that its our choice! If people cant make it or dont want to attend then that is up to them however I feel a bit torn.

    There are a couple of elderly relatives and some family and friends who cannot come to Cyprus and I'd like them to be involved in some way but then again, its another cost we could do without x
  • We are getting married in Cuba just the 2 of us and we are being pressured into having a party when we get back...but for whos benefit???The people that want a knees up!!! myself and H2B personally does not want to have one so weve said to whoever feels hard done by and wants to celebrate with us we will have a family and close friends meal. I might be classed as being "tight" but im not doing something just because other people say so. The famous comment my mum said is how selfish of you both going away on your own and getting married my response was well if you really want to attend a wedding....Have one yourself!

    I agree with you ButterflyRobin - Still with what you want to do!
  • ElSebukElSebuk Posts: 842
    We are having a party when we get back - there was no question for us really. We have only invited immediate family & close friends to the wedding, which means there are about 300 other friends & relatives that aren't coming!! We are doing it quite cheaply though - room hire (in our local community centre which is a gorgeous victorian building with a park) ballroom & youth club room with wii, pool table etc is only £230! Then we have booked 2 bands (we are friends with them both so they are doing it for drinks and a little bit of cash), hog & sheep roasts, we will do salads and other buffet food, and we are doing the bar ourselves (well, h2b owns a bar with his 2 brothers, so honestly, they are putting on the bar!!!) I just wanted a really informal, fun party atmosphere plus it's another excuse to wear my lovely dress again!!!!

    It's totally up to you whether or not to have one, but if you do go for it, you don't have to spend a fortune on it!
  • My h2b and I live on the Isle of Man and most of my family live in the UK, so some guests will have to travel wherver we got married, so we are getting married in Canada. We are planning to have a party on the Isle of Man and have our first dance at this means I get to wear my lovely dress again and those we would like to have come to the wedding can still feel part of it.
  • Since announcing where running off to Cyprus next year to get married

    (mostly cos its what we want, the beach front vows, the sunset reception, but also cos we dont want to pay out for people we never see or hear from to get drunk on our night!)

    everyones reaction is either 'but what about us?' or 'so you'll be having a reception party back here after then?'

    image We are doing the same and had the same response...

    Yes we are having a gathering when we return because to date, neither

    family will be coming with us, just a handful of friends.

    It is not going to be a proper reception, it will be a low key buffet and disco, for any family and friends who want to come along. (But NOT a free bar!)

    We will add extra things, like having the wedding video played in the back ground and photos of the day circulated etc.

    Oh and i get to wear my dress again!
  • Eeek we are having a party when we get back. We are getting married in Mauritius and although our close family are coming, there won't be many of us, 20 as an absolute maximum. So I decided I wanted a party so that I could celebrate with my friends and other family, for example my grandparents and my cousins who won't be coming to Mauritius with us. We've picked a wedding venue for the party, and it's not cheap at all, but it's what myself and h2b wanted and it also means we can celebrate with all our friends and family!!

    I'd say you need to do what you want re: a party, if you're not fussed then don't feel pressured into doing it. We're having something probably unnecessarily extravagant, but only because its what we wanted, we're not doing it for anyone but ourselves!
  • jorosiepjorosiep Posts: 334

    H2B were not pressured to have a party when we get back from our wedding/honeymoon, we wanted one because we knew that there were family and friends who could not go to Santorini.

    One of my aunts cannot even go to the party because she and her husband are not well enough to travel, so we are going to take them out for dinner instead.

    We feel that it would be a perfect end to the whole event, but you really have to do what you want to do. It is an extra expense but it depends if you can really afford to have a party when you get back home.

  • We are getting married in Mauritius and our wedding party consists of 10 people (including us!).

    My family is really really small so thats nearly all of us anyway. I am being asked about a reception/party when we get back but I feel like a right misery guts saying this but I just don't want one!

    Me and H2B are not really into the whole party thing and we only have a smallish group of friends anyway. I', staying non committal on it at the moment by saying 'maybe' but I know its not going to happen!

    My dad is a real socialite and I know he won't understand!
  • We're getting married in Rhodes, and a lot of friends cannot afford the holiday, and family cannot make it, due to younger cousins exmas, GCSEs and A Levels etc.

    We are however keen to have a party when we get back, so have hired a pub/garden/marquee and having a hog roast, something a bit different, hasn't cost the world and is going to be a nice end to the 2 weeks off work and all the celebrations.

    Plus i didn't want people left out, however i am now feeling like i shouldn't have to invite those who just couldn't be bothered to save up or book up to come abroad, why should they eat and drink on us?


  • Glad im not alone on this then ladies...but the thought of wearing my fab frock all over again is tempting lol!

    I guess maybe we could leave it till this time next year and decide again then, we will still have 5months to send invites out then... image
  • I'm getting married in New York and due to it being term time my sister can't come with the children sow e are having a party back home but only a small one maximum 50 people i would think as i only want people at the party who if they could have afforded it or school issues etc would have come to new york although saying that we are still not feeding people just having a sweet buffet and cakes, we are not having a gift list either.
  • We are getting married in Rhodes and compared to others having a huge party. Just family is coming to rhodes, We have about 150 people coming to the party with food dj and doing a free bar. I really wanted a small wedding (its my 2nd one), I did it big last time and really wanted something intimate and H2b said he would be happy for this if we had a big party when we got back (it is his 1st time) so that is the deal. I must admit I am totally happy with that.

    Do whatever you are happy with if you dont want one dont do it. If you fancy a party have one. have drinks and nibbles at home if you only have a few friends do what ever you want it is your celebration
  • we are having a party but it is going to be informal and not like a traditional wedding reception. we are hiring our local pub and having a DJ and buffet.

    i am wearing my dress again (of course!) but there are some of my friends and family that i would have liked to come to the wedding that couldnt come abroad so we are having a party so we can celebrate our wedding with all the people we want to.

    it is up to you as a couple. if all the people you want at the wedding are coming then i wouldnt worry about a party. maybe meet in the pub for a few drinks if people really must meet with you after the wedding

  • we are marring in jamaica and are torn. so far it is just my parents who are attending. though I really dont know if I want a reception do when we get back. ideally I want us to start saving for a deposit to move home, and even if we had a reception do that is £300-£500 it is money that we could have put to our deposit.

    Other than having a meal/buffet is there anything else that could be done to celebrate our marriage??

  • LeaBLeaB Posts: 1,706

    We are getting married in portugal and have all the family i want attending, everyone keot asking are we having a party and at first i was like i really want one and h2b said he didnt. After looking into prices we have decided against it and have used the money for honeymoon. 

  • We are getting married in Malta and decided we don't want a party at home. We've invited immediate family and friends so everyone we want to be there has been invited. We aren't really party people so thought we'd rather spend the money on the wedding itself. We have had a few comments about not having a party but this was only from people who we invited to the wedding but can't come.

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