Vegas Dilemma

Hi everyone



Over the past year I've been planning a 2013 wedding in Las Vegas and were waiting for flights to be available before we could book anything. Our flights are now available to hold but my parents and brother have said today that they cannot save enough money in time for them to come with us. To be honest im devastated, we got engaged in Dec 2010 and my family know it has always been our intention to marry abroad. I even provided them all with quotes for flights / accommodation in Jan 2011, they said they could save the money.



So now I have a dilemma, we decided on Vegas because a) we love the place and b) it's something different, it's very us and it would have been the small intimate 'close family and friends' wedding we have wanted. At the same time I don't know if I could do it without them, as much as I dislike the idea of us having a traditional wedding I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. I wanted them all to be there. I'm supposed to be excited about booking the date with the hotel but I'm not.



A friend suggested we get married somewhere closer to home where costs would be less but we've had our hearts set on Vegas for 2 years, I can't think of anywhere that fits what we are looking for. I needed to get this off my chest but any advice would be very greatly appreciated x

Posts

  • follow your heart! Providing you give your friends enough notice they should be able to save up for the day but obviously if your friends can't afford it then you might have to look closer to home.
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Our friends can still come, they have been saving as have my fiance's family which is great image My heart is torn at the moment I really don't know what to do but part of me says my mum and dad should be there, it wouldn't be the same without them
  • It's such a tricky situation.



    If they can't afford it then they can't afford it.



    We had same situation.. we looked into going back to where we got engaged (Disneyworld, Florida) But, very early on before we even got quotes.. half of my siblings said they wouldn't have been able to afford it even with 2 years notice.



    And it was at the point, that we deiced it was more important to us.. that our family and friends were there during our ceremony then having our dream venue/location.



    You just need to decided as a couple what is the most important to you both, any either choice is a right one. It's a really hard decision. Just go with your heart x x
  • DuddersDudders Posts: 1,659 New bride
    I think you have to do what you feel is right for you.



    But on the flip side of the coin I see of from your family's point of view. This is something that has come up within our family and I have been on their side of the fence. A member of our family has said they would like to get married in Vegas and both sets of parents and the siblings don't want to go. Now I don't disagree with them doing it, but they do have to understand that it's a massive ask. In our situation, it's also a case of health - one of the parents simply isn't up to the long haul flights involved. For myself and my husband it's financial reasons - even though we have the money in the bank, it's for our house deposit, and even if we saved more a home is more important to us than a week in Vegas.



    I don't want to make you feel rubbish about it at all, as you're completely entitled to want what you want. I just don't think everyone looks at this thoroughly. As a general rule of thumb (and not a dig at you at all) getting married abroad can be a bit selfish if you don't consider what it means for your family and friends. Just because they have two years to save, it doesn't mean they can afford it as often other things take priority. For me personally I have no desire to go to Vegas at all, so added to the financial burden, we'd waste our annual holiday to go sit in a hotel room in a place we don't want to be.



    I don't mean to be harsh, but wanted you to be able to see the other side of it. I know it's not the same, but there's no reason you and your partner can't go and get married there and then have a party with a non legal ceremony when you come home.



    I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, and a lot of people will disagree with me, but it is my point of view which is founded from being in the situation your family is. It will be a difficult choice, but it is yours and you may have to accept that not everyone will be along for the ride. Good luck xx
  • MrsS1MrsS1 Posts: 74
    Hi MrsV2_Be



    I'm really sorry to hear that you've got this dilemma and it's taken the excitement out of booking. Did your parents and brother give you an idea of how much they were short by? What does your H2b and his family think about it?



    I can totally appreciate wanting to have your dad walk you down the aisle-if they really cant get there, could you still have the wedding you want but in a different location (still abroad) and then organise your honeymoon in Vegas and have a blessing over there (perhaps with others if they can afford it)?



    Xx
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Thank you both



    Family has always been important me for and it's important for me to have mine there so as much as I want my dream wedding I do think I seriously need to re-consider it. Argh this is so hard, we could still go to Vegas as part of our honeymoon but I have no idea on what to do now. Vegas was all I've thought about x
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Thanks Dudders, I completely see their side of it as well. I know it's hard to save but we gave plenty of notice. A year ago they were all so excited about coming and now they can't come so it's kind of taken me by suprise, we have discussed it so many times and there was no inkling they wouldn't be there. I'm just upset they didn't tell me sooner, I have it planned to the smallest detail so im devastated.



    Mrsshavestobe - My family haven't saved a penny... I've told h2b but not his family. H2B said we can still go with his family and our friends but I can't do that. I think we either re-consider or go it alone and have a reception back here.



    Thanks all x
  • DuddersDudders Posts: 1,659 New bride
    Also while I think about it, have you ever been to a real wedding in Vegas? I ask because our honeymoon hotel was a popular destination wedding venue, and as beautiful as it was it looked like a conveyor belt and I wonder whether it would be the same in Vegas.



    Perhaps you could do it the other way round - a non legal ceremony and wedding party here then jet off to Vegas on honeymoon and have the legal bit there. (with friends if you want).



    Hope I didn't upset you - I know it's a hard decision xx



    ETA - I mean no one needs to know it's not legal if you want a little secret image
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Hi Dudders, with the chapels it's like a conveyer belt but we were booking hotel ceremony and use of the grounds for three hours so we could avoid that rushed feeling. H2B and I will be sitting down tonight to have a good think about what we want to do so fingers crossed we come up with a solution.



    Don't worry, you didn't upset me. I was after advice and got different opinions which was perfect image x
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848
    Quoted:
    I can totally appreciate wanting to have your dad walk you down the aisle-if they really cant get there, could you still have the wedding you want but in a different location (still abroad) and then organise your honeymoon in Vegas and have a blessing over there


    That's what I was thinking image



    Could your parents afford it if it were closer to home, and then you have your honeymoon in Vegas so you get the best of both worlds
  • Lizard83Lizard83 Posts: 189
    Hey chick, I'm getting married in Vegas in October! We found it was a lot cheaper to get flights and hotel together its something to do with the airlines subsidising the hotel or the other way round not sure,but is definitely the way to do it! We've paid £604 for flights and 4* star accomodation in the centre of the strip going on a Monday and coming home on a Saturday. Last minute.com are really good as are Expedia. Hope that helps a little bit xx
  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride
    So, here is my view.



    I have been to three abroad weddings (Mexico, Turkey and Grand Cayman) The last one in particular was pretty pricy, but they were really good friends of ours and we just didnt consider not going. We saved and we went (with less than a years notice). Along with that the bride's family were coming all the way from Australia! If they could make the trek so could we. Now because of the distance she didnt have her neices there and no grandparents made it either.



    I think if people really want to go to an overseas wedding they go, now to be fair in my case all the overseas weddings were due to either bride being Mexican, Groom being Turkish or couple having just emigrated to the Caymans.



    Do you have any money in your wedding budget to help your parents with their flights etc. Is there another hotel or route they can take that would be cheaper. Could you look at renting an apartment all together to keep costs down etc.



    If you want them there, and they want to be there, you will have to look at ways of making it work.



    As an aside, the average cost of attending a wedding in the UK is £452 per person
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848
    Quoted:
    As an aside, the average cost of attending a wedding in the UK is £452 per person


    Where does that figure come from? It can't be that much, say an average UK wedding with 100 guests - it's not going to cost over £45k
  • Mrs BoundsMrs Bounds Posts: 1,311
    £452 per person? I can understand if you were the bridge or grooms' immediate family as this would include presents, new outfits etc, but for the 'average guest'?



    to the OP- do your family know how much it costs to get there and stay there? as mentioned by someone else it really is very reasonable! x
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Quoted:
    Hey chick, I'm getting married in Vegas in October! We found it was a lot cheaper to get flights and hotel together its something to do with the airlines subsidising the hotel or the other way round not sure,but is definitely the way to do it! We've paid £604 for flights and 4* star accomodation in the centre of the strip going on a Monday and coming home on a Saturday. Last minute.com are really good as are Expedia. Hope that helps a little bit xx


    Hey image



    Thanks! I just had a look at that and it's definately cheaper to combine them.



    We had lunch today with my parents and I took all your advice on board. We really had a good chat about it and have decided to postpone the wedding until 2015 so that my parents have longer to save and if necessary we would have more money to help them out. Putting the wedding back a bit doesn't bother me too much, I'd rather settle for this than lose my dream wedding and it means my parents will be there on my special day! Plus we would have saved more money so all those little bits and pieces I was debating whether or not to have I can now have.... and an even better honeymoon.



    Thanks for all your advice everyone, I'm so pleased to have found a solution and hey an extra two years will fly by im sure x
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Quoted:
    Hey chick, I'm getting married in Vegas in October! We found it was a lot cheaper to get flights and hotel together its something to do with the airlines subsidising the hotel or the other way round not sure,but is definitely the way to do it! We've paid £604 for flights and 4* star accomodation in the centre of the strip going on a Monday and coming home on a Saturday. Last minute.com are really good as are Expedia. Hope that helps a little bit xx


    p.s where abouts in Vegas are you getting married? x
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Quoted:
    Quoted:
    As an aside, the average cost of attending a wedding in the UK is £452 per person


    Where does that figure come from? It can't be that much, say an average UK wedding with 100 guests - it's not going to cost over £45k


    I can kind of see where Mrstwizbe is coming from. We went to a wedding recently in Surrey (we live in Kent) and by time we had brought the present, overnight stay, petrol and drinks at the bar it soon mounted up. Maybe not to £400 but certainly over £250. I suppose it depends how far you are travelling x
  • Lizard83Lizard83 Posts: 189
    Quoted:
    Quoted:
    Hey chick, I'm getting married in Vegas in October! We found it was a lot cheaper to get flights and hotel together its something to do with the airlines subsidising the hotel or the other way round not sure,but is definitely the way to do it! We've paid £604 for flights and 4* star accomodation in the centre of the strip going on a Monday and coming home on a Saturday. Last minute.com are really good as are Expedia. Hope that helps a little bit xx
    p.s where abouts in Vegas are you getting married? x


    Getting married on a yacht on Lake Las Vegas which is about 40 mins from the strip then having dinner in a restaraunt in the Marina. We've hired the wine cellar so will be private and lovely! We are then being picked up to be taken back to the strip to hit the bellagio for some gambling and photos by the fountains, to say I can't wait is an understatement!!!

    We are just having our immediate families then having a reception back in the UK. We were meant to get married in the UK last year but all got too much for my H2B so Vegas is the perfect solution!

    Where abouts are you thinking of getting married? There's a post on here from a girl who recently got married in Vegas and she had some great tips!! xx
  • AlmostMrsVAlmostMrsV Posts: 169
    Aah that sounds amazing! you are going to have such a great time. Going to the strip sounds perfect, I've always had visions of me gambling in my wedding dress image Adelly got married at the Bellagio recently, I've been keeping an eye on her blog and it's fantastic, she really did have some great ideas and the pics on her report look amazing!



    We are going to be getting married in the Venus Garden at the Caesar's Palace. We've been to Vegas before and already seen the garden and grounds, it's beautiful. I can't wait! A little sad it's not going to be next year but I think waiting will make it the perfect wedding we want xx
  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride
    £425 on AVERAGE some will be more some less. But it sounded about right to me. I went to one UK wedding that was at least £200 each for just travel and hotel. Once you have a pressie and outfits, drinks while there if it isn't an open bar it could well mount up.
  • thrashtobethrashtobe Posts: 30
    I got married in Vegas without family , and i really wanted to get married in vegas so i did!



    Dont regret it one bit.



    If your parents really wanted to go they would save the money and go with you.
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