Secret wedding abroad but want a party on return-HELP PLEASE!!!

My H2b & myself have booked our wedding to Jamaica next May,and are keeping it quiet from friends & family,mainly because we want it just the 2 of us.Less agro,and less money.

However,i do want a party on our return,so our children can feel involved & possibly a blessing.

Thing is, we had planned not to tell anyone until the day we return,but i want the party 4 days later.

I realise i cant leave it that late to invite people,but don't know how to go about inviting people to our party(save the date),without them sussing we are off abroad getting married,before we actually go.

Any suggestions would be greatly received.Thanks.


  • RRrr2011RRrr2011 Posts: 1,262
    Can you not book the blessing and party and send invites out as though its a normal wedding. Those who are important will understand when you return and they will still be part of the wedding.
  • huniluvhuniluv Posts: 4
    Thanks for the reply.

    That is definately an option,but we feel we will be pressurised into having Stag/Hen nights,when we dont want them.This will be second marriages for both of us,and really don't want to do all that again.

    Also,feel that it would give people time to interfere,and/or voice their opinions on the wedding.

    Just generally talking about it-the mother in law to be,has mentioned things about what we should & shouldnt do-lol.I don't want months of that lol.
  • debdonnsdebdonns Posts: 68
    Hey Anna, I'm also getting married in secret in Jamaica next year (Hilton Rose Hall). We've got my brother in on the secret and he's going to send out the reception invites whilst we're away. Our original plan was to get married around one of our birthdays so we could send out birthday party invites but, when the guests got there, it'd actually be our reception! However, the deal we got for September was far too good even though it's nowhere near either of our birthdays sooo last minute invites it is image
  • huniluvhuniluv Posts: 4
    Thank you for your reply.

    I think thats what we will have to do,or organise it a couple of weeks later.

    I just wanted to get married easily and its doing my head in already.

    H2b is easy,just wants what i want,but i cant make up my mind lol.
  • DrBridezillaDrBridezilla Posts: 1,018
    I think I would just come up with another reason to be having a party and do invites for that.

    Maybe a late/early birthday party? Or anniversary of something your friends might not know about - first date? Or of actually meeting?

    Doesn't have to be too sensible - who cares if your guests think it's all a bit strange of you!!

  • Mrs BoundsMrs Bounds Posts: 1,311
    the only thing about having a party for a 'strange reason' like anniversary of a first date is poeple might think it's a bit pointless and not actually realise the importance of the party!
  • debdonnsdebdonns Posts: 68
    I had this one out with H2B again last night, we've come to the (very selfish) conclusion that those who are important to us will make sure they're there as it's a big occasion, despite the ridiculously last minute invites. Personally I'd rather just go back to work and get on with life but his family most probably won't allow it image
  • Hey,

    I honestly think your family and friends would understand if you'd explain it to them. You wedding is still your day and should be the way you do it, no matter if it is the 1st or 2nd wedding. If it is your wish to do it the way you are planning it to do, I am sure they'll be with you on that. I mean it is not like you are not doing anything for them, you are planning a reception and let them be part of your wedding. Especially as you are planning on having a blessing afterwards. I have a customer, who's planning her reception with me and she's getting married in Greece and then does the big reception afterwards. It works for her and most of the people understand.
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    How much notice do you think they need?

    How long are you away for?

    Can you send invites to arrive the day you leave and let a friend in on it nearer the time to help organise things when you are away?
  • We did exactly the same as you. Quiet romantic wedding abroad, just the two of us. Then party in our return for everyone. The party however was 2 months after the wedding so we just posted invites as we were boarding the plane to leave!!

    As others have said, if people really care for you they won't mind that you did it your way (I think a lot of people secretly wish they had done the same! Some have even told me this!) you just have to accept that with short notice some people may have other things arranged & may not be able to come.

    Good luck tho, it all sounds perfect!!

    (link to our private beach wedding pics below if you want to peak!) image
Sign In or Register to comment.