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Upsetting family (and accommodation costs?)

We'd love to get married in Greece, and have found the perfect venue and wedding planner. The trouble is, some of our family members are being quite disapproving and we're worried about causing a rift. My grandfather is a nervous flyer and probably won't come, and my uncle feels like I'm being a bridezilla for wanting to marry abroad. My fiance's sister is kicking up a bit of a stink, and has said clearly she feels we're being selfish for expecting people to fly for us.

We know we're getting married for us, but it's quite stressful being faced with all this disapproval. How have other brides dealt with this?

We're also thinking about hotel costs. We're happy to put up poor friends and some family (with small kids), but don't really want to pay for family who we know can afford it. What's normally done? Some members of the family will cry that it's unfair if we pay for some and not others.

Posts

  • Hi Yassas, feel your pain thats awful that your family are being like this.

    I personally think THEY are the ones being selfish for expecting you to not do what you and your H2B want to do.

    Im getting married in Zante and my mum and dad hate eachother and i was worried that they wouldn't come but BOTH of them with their new partners are coming out to zante because they want to be there for me. 

    Its a stressful time Yassas but just please remember its your day and if your friends and family want to be there for you they will be there !

    Some circumstances do come up for friends and family that they can't be there even though they really want to be. Thats why im having a UK reception for everyone who couldnt come out to celebrate our day in Zante.

    Hope this helps image xxx

  • Hi, we are getting married in Malta in June. Before we told anyone we worked out our guest list as we wanted to keep it small so its immediate family and close friends. Still comes to 24 guests. We made it clear to everyone we understood if they were unable to come but we would really love them there. We know various family members have been a bit put out at not being invited but this is how we want to do it and we can't invite one auntie and uncle and not invite them all. Do what you want to do and how you want to do it but just be aware that some people won't be able to come or won't agree with it. It's your day so do it how you want to or you'll regret it later on. Oh and we aren't paying for anyone's accommodation. We haven't stipulated where people stay so all guests can find somewhere within their own budget. Hope that helps x

  • Hi,

    Congratulations!

    It's your day, to do whatever you want, they will calm down in time. Let your fiance deal with his sister, she's probably just jealous!

    My advice - invite whoever you want, without mentioning that you will help with costs. You could see if you could find accommodation of different types (people with small kids usually prefer self catering) and different prices and try to suit all pockets. Alternatively choose one hotel or apartment block and email them for group rates. If you want to get married in low season you should be able to get good group rates and the weather in the Med will still be good. Sometimes a tour operator can help you negotiate good rates.

     

    Good Luck, and enjoy!

     

  • yep we have had the same thing, but you have to be very stern with yourself about letting other people upset you and remember its your day so do it whereever you want to! i  wouldnt recommend putting up some of your poorer friends as others might get miffed if they find out that you have done this, let everyone sort themselves out then everyone is equal. what ive done is make a free website (theknot.com) and put a list of accomodations on there for all budgets xx

  • CiaoLaraCiaoLara Posts: 7

    Thanks for all the kind replies - just what I needed to hear!image

    My sister-in-law has just got engaged after us, so I imagine there may be a bit of a competitive feel, which i really just don't want.. I'll just have to let her behave as she wants to and be thankful I'm so happy to be marrying my boyfriend that our wedding being 'better' or 'worse' isn't on my radar.

    I'm really conscious of the cost for my two very badly paid bridesmaids. I'm hardly rich, but I think I might help at least them out.

  • Hi again Yassas,

    glad you're feeling brighter. What I have learned is, no matter where you have your wedding some one is going to have something negative to say about it so do what you want and remember to enjoy it all!

    I kind of agree with Laura Justice about not paying for your guests to come as that could really put some people's noses out of joint. Give people enough time to save and find something in their budget. As for your two bridesmaids, instead of buying them a present which you give them on your wedding day you could help them with accommodation costs. No one can say anything about that. By the way, I live in Greece. Where are you thinking of getting married?

     

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