How did you tell people and how did they take it?

Hi ladies.

We have just told oh's family we are doing vegas for our wedding and we'll i'm left feeling pretty bad.

I feel his sister is pretty upset because she said she probably won't be able to afford to go but she had the big lavish wedding in the UK and it coat her a lot of money for people to attend. 

I feel horrible I've asked a big thing of them and im left feeling it's  it right to do it abroad. Massive image x

Posts

  • We're getting married in Vegas in September after having cancelled a wedding and losing thousands in 2011 due to stress piled on from both families.



    I know this might not help, but it's YOUR WEDDING! Don't lose sight of that. Even if you were getting married here I dare say people would be sticking their nose in and have an opinion anyway.



    If Vegas is what you want, go for it! You'll regret it otherwise. Xx
  • blondie11blondie11 Posts: 39

    Hi,

    firstly don't feel bad, do what makes you happy image my friends got married there with only parents and a couple, and it was the best thing they ever did.

    my partner and I have just booked to go to antigua next year to get married. I have just our parents and yes my brothers are coming, and we've done what we can to help them pay. It's hard, my best friend is gutted she won't be there, but understands that a big white wedding is sooooooo expensive, why pay for everyone to eat and drink, where you can have YOUR dream wedding on the expense of yourselves. We are then having a celebration party when we get back

     

     

  • blondie11blondie11 Posts: 39

    I agree with blondie. Do what's right for you. Go for it!!!!!!!!!!!

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    Hi! We asked our parents permission first and they both said you have to do what you want to do. When I told my nan and grandad they were really upset. I'm such a grandads girl and I'm the only grandaughter but eventually came round to it and said aswell we have to do what makes us happy. But we are having a big reception when we return. 

     

    As for OHs family well that's a different story really! his mum said yes it's fine but we have had nothing but arguements over where we are going (basically his sister was a cow about it and decided to go to the same place but had told us beforehand that she couldn't manage to come to our wedding- very very long story!) his mum has now said she doesn't want to come for a week and have to go back to work the next day after returnjng! We are over it now, we know he won't have any family there but it's their loss not ours. Our wedding is about US! Not who we have with us image xxx 

  • mrshughes2013mrshughes2013 Posts: 2,063 New bride

    We dropped the idea as a precursor and most people were ok with it aka OHs family as his brother got married abroad before plus they are able to afford a holiday every year 

    my parents and friends were ok with it but had reservations so that put us off a bit but we sat down and costed everything for a one day UK wedding versus an abroad wedding and the difference in cost was staggering so that settled it for us

    when we told our guests we were definitely going abroad we promised them to help find accommodation etc and help with any flights etc and we specifically chose dates that would be cheaper ie end of August 

    luckily we had everyone we asked join us and some of them got really good deals

  • Victoria25Victoria25 Posts: 250

    I think when you're getting married abroad you can't expect everyone to turn up as it will be too expensive for some people.  But like others have said it's your day so if they're not there it shouldn't be the end of the world.

    My brother got married in Vegas which all of our immediate family went to but he only had 2 friends turn up so it would have been a much bigger event if he'd have married in the UK.  It was still fun though as it was a lot more intimate and we spoke to the bride's family more than we probably would have done otherwise (they're American so it was the first time meeting them).

    We also have friends who got married abroad last month which we couldn't go to as we're saving for our own wedding.  The bride organised an itinerary for all of the guests for every day they were out there which I think grated on more than a few people towards the end!  So make sure you allow people to do their own thing :P

  • rebajaynerebajayne Posts: 23

    Thanks for your replies.  We have decided to go and get married just the two of us and I couldn't be happier. I've only been engaged 1 week and the thought of putting a financial burden on people was too much to the point where I said I didn't want to get married.  I really don't or won't spend the money to get married in the UK and only have one day. It's taken me all day to realise I'm allowed to be different and not have to have the big affair. 

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    Good for you. When are you planning on getting married x 

  • I told everyone when we announced our engagement that it was abroad (far) and just the two of us. Long story but my dad had previously said that if i got married he wouldnt come if my mum was there.only been divorced 25 years!!! Most people were fine but eventually mymum admitted that she would have liked to have been there. Sister called me 'selfish' and sister in law said i had 'missed out on cute bridesmaids' (my nieces) but as i told them.... Having a party,or bridesmaids isnt a reason or motivation to get married. I dont regret going it alone but glad we had an at-home party to involve them. Ironically the few people who openly whinged about not being invited to Barbados (one of whom had just had a baby and moaning about being skint!) as of course they would have come, also moaned about travelling to my party and in fact some didnt come as it was 'too far'.... The cheek!!!!! I think anyone who has any respect for you and your H2B would be fine with your decision. Happy planning! X
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