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Wedding planning blues

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum.  I got engaged back in April and am yet to book anything!  I'm starting to get a little stressed as originally we were looking at next May but have decided we'd like to marry later this year if possible so we can start a family.  My H2B is rather keen on just running off abroad to Vegas or New York (where we got engaged) and just doing it ourselves with a party back at home.  I'm unsure though as I am worried that I may regret it if i miss out on having things like certain family members, bridesmaids etc and so am looking into Italy (Rome or Tuscany) as an option in the hope that we can at least have some people attend.  I am really worried that barely anyone will be able to make it though and just don't know what to do for the best.

Has anyone else been married/getting married abroad and had these doubts about whether to go ahead with it or not?  Or am I just on my own I this and just need to decide and get on with it?!!


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  • JayneydeeJayneydee Posts: 3

    Thanks Kitten2014 some wise words!

    My OH is not particularly one for being in the limelight and big affairs so this is certainly an element that is affecting his view on going abroad so I do need to take this on board.

    I will most certainly take on board your advice also and discuss some pros and cons for us both and take it from there.


    Thanks again! :-)

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  • ka5ka5 Posts: 49

    I echo what kitten said, it's so important to give yourselves time and space to work out what you want.

    We were in a similar position this time last year. We got engaged at the end of March (also while in the US!). And spent a few months stressing about what to do. For us it was that we both kind of wanted a typical / 'normal' wedding, but on the other hand didn't want the cost, stress or the limelight. I was keen on going away but we never thought the people around us would be ok if we went off on our own and like you, weren't sure if we'd regret it. 

    What was helpful for us was to provisionally start to look at how we would do each type of wedding to get a sense of what it would be like. It helped us think about what we really wanted. We started to think we didn't want a big wedding and started to think about a small wedding in new york with just family. This didn't work out as not everyone was as keen as we were, and after more stressing (and a couple more months!) We decided to go on our own to New York.  For us it worked out perfectly and we're so so glad we did it. We also wanted to speed things up with a view to starting a family but in the end we got married in april, so we were engaged for a year in the end. I'm really glad we took the time as although it felt really stressful and miserable at times, which is obviously not how you want it to be, it helped us feel sure about the choice we made.

    We had a small blessing at home a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed celebrating again so also got to share the experience with our family, who were all on board with what we did. I also think it helped that we told people we were going away rather than just eloping. 

    Sorry I'm not sure if my rambling was any help! But let me know if you have any questions that might help x

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