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Gifts?! Who should I give them to and what should I get!

Help!

What is the etiquette of gift giving for people at your wedding? I have the following situation:

Groom: card & present ordered- sorted

Bridesmaids: cards and presents ordered- sorted

My parents: I've ordered them a card to give them, but no presents yet. They haven't contributed financially really, except a small contribution from my mother towards some earrings. This is purely because they are financially struggling whereas we are fairly stable- not through any fall outs etc. Do I still get them a present? And if so, what kind of thing? Obviously considering the wedding is abroad!

His parents: Again I've got them a card (from me, not us)- do I/we get them a present? They have made a contribution towards the wedding, but in all honesty, that's mostly just covering their friends.

I'm going to do all presents in private/before hand, but I'm just struggling as I think the obvious thing is flowers but we are all abroad so makes it difficult.

 

Ant input or suggestions welcome

 

Thanks

Posts

  • OKCharlieOKCharlie Posts: 145 New bride

    I will be buying both sets of parents presents, not because of financial contribution, but because of the emotional support they've given us over all the years and for welcoming us in to the family. So I guess it depends how you feel about it. No idea what I'll get them though so I will watch this thread for people's suggestions! 

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555

    Hi Victoria,

    I think you need to get presents for your parents, even if it's just for the emotional support and love they have shown towards you and your OH. We have bought:

    Mums: Flowers - easy! 

    Dads: I'm not sure about you, but we find our dads so difficult to buy for! If they want something, they tend to get it themselves. They're not sentimental in the slightest, don't drink and aren't particularly into watches or cufflinks. It was a serious headache to get my dad something special for his 60th last year - we started brainstorming from his 59th birthday!

    In the end, we've decided to buy them both some 'luxury' chocolate boxes from Hotel Chocolat. I know some people may turn their noses up at that, but we have found that chocolate is always a winning gift for them as part of a Christmas present for example so we just made it a bit 'nicer' than usual!

    Just thinking out loud, you don't necessarily have to buy separate gifts. How about some art work, an experience or a restaurant voucher especially if you want to give presents that won't perish whilst you're at your destination? Also, I wouldn't worry about necessarily giving them on the day - you can arrange for gifts to be delivered post-wedding if you did want to give flowers for example. x

  • Also following as I'm unsure what to get as well. 

  • Chevs85Chevs85 Posts: 52

    This is what we got our parents: http://m.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_304029508282_-1

    we put old pictures of the family on the left and on the right put an IOU for a wedding picture. It was a gesture more than an expensive gift but they all loved them! 

  • Following as I'm too unsure! 

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    I think most people do get something for parents as well as the other people you have mentioned. I think you should get something for both sets, as you say your parents aren't in a financial position to contribute to your wedding, Maybe get them something as a Thankyou for raising me as the person I am- if that applies?

    As its a destination wedding, what about giving the gift before you go? save you lugging them all the way there and back? Artwork as suggested above is a nice idea, How about something relating to the place you are getting married?

  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Harriet85Harriet85 Posts: 118

    Ive been thinking of this also, should you gift everyone thats contributed to the wedding? We have both sets of parents who have paid for large chunks of the wedding, my godparents who paid for the flowers and cake, brother in law who got the car and is doing the driving. 3 bridesmaids 1 best man and two ushers and our two witnesses

     Should we gift them all?

  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555
    Harriet85 wrote (see post):

    Ive been thinking of this also, should you gift everyone thats contributed to the wedding? We have both sets of parents who have paid for large chunks of the wedding, my godparents who paid for the flowers and cake, brother in law who got the car and is doing the driving. 3 bridesmaids 1 best man and two ushers and our two witnesses

     Should we gift them all?

    Hi Harriet,

    Yes I think you should, even if it's more of a token gesture. Kitten is right that a thank you and a bit of recognition goes a long way! When my friend got married last year, they only thanked the MOH - who made the cake - and not any of the other bridesmaids (one being me!) which was a little sad. It is a nice thing to thank people not just for their money, but emotional support or for contributing towards your day in some other way. 

    To give you some idea of what we're buying (bar what I've mentioned above):

    - For our ushers and best man, we have bought them all a posh bottle of gin. I'm not sure of the brand, but it's one that only makes a limited number of bottles a year so I assume it's decent and a bit more 'special'. My H2B sorted that!

    - My bridesmaids have bracelets, personalised tote bags and I'm going to shove some Hotel Chocolat treats in there too! They are also having hair and make-up costs covered by me.

    - Readers and witnesses are going to get a bottle of wine/prosecco each. I know it doesn't sound particularly fancy, but I think it's important not to go mental with expensive gifts. It's the gesture in my opinion as opposed to how much something costs, especially for those who have helped in some way, but perhaps in a less demanding role 

    x

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