HELP! how to and who to invite



My fiancé and i are getting married in Zante June 2020.

We have a rough guest list and have sent save the dates out to those invited. We only wanted to invite close to 40 and with my fiance having a large family we had to kind of pick and choose friends. We now feel a bit awkward whereby the friends we have invited have got their save the dates and the ones not invited keep asking when the wedding is and I think waiting for an invite. Whats the best approach with telling these people that they will only be invited to the UK reception. Due to how far in advance we are We arent in a position to send out the uk reception party invites out yet. Has anyone seen any nice poems or anything for basically telling people they are only coming to the UK part? We both feel very awkward at the moment.


Also once the explaining is out the way my bridesmaid is quite keen to start organising the hen do. But do I invite people who are only coming to wedding abroad or include people (which I would love to be there at the hen) who are only coming to the UK reception?





  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    I think if people ask about the wedding, just say you’re having a small intimate wedding abroad but want to celebrate with everyone when you get back. People who ask when the wedding is aren’t necessarily expecting and invitation though, don’t worry! its difficult to say without knowing the dynamics of the friendships with those who were invited and those who weren’t. Are there close friends who wont be invited? You've done nothing wrong having a small wedding abroad but that is a choice you’ve made knowing it will mean many of your friends can’t come. I’m sure most of them will realise it isn’t personal, even if some are disappointed.

    The hen is tricky because you don’t want to further ‘offend’ people who aren’t invited to the wedding by not inviting them to the hen either. Equally they may react badly to being asked to spend money coming to support you on your hen when they didn’t make the cut for the wedding. My advice would be if it’s a local night out then invite everyone but if it’s a weekend away or something I’d stick to those invited to the wedding. 

    Guest l are tricky aren’t they?! 

  • I would just say that you are having a very small intimate ceremony abroad and then a party to celebrate in the UK with everyone.

    In terms of the hen I would still invite them, just if it is an expensive hen make it clear that you don't expect them to come but would love them to be there if they could! 

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