Offensive?! Big engagement small wedding


Me and my partner have always dreamed of having an Indian destination wedding and will be going ahead with this. But we also want this to be an intimate event with just close friends and family. I have a big family, so already that number is high.

We also want to share celebrations with all our loved ones and those who are unable to travel. So we want to host a large engagement party a year before the wedding.

I was thinking would this offend people? Those invited to the engagement but not wedding will be extended family and family friends. Is it worth explaining this to people? 


  • This approach makes perfect sense to me.  Chances are the majority of not-as-close friends and extended family wouldn't want to take the time off and incur the expense of travelling that far - so this is a nice way to have some kind of celebration that involves them. 
    I don't think a formal explanation is owed or warranted.  I think word of mouth will suffice.  Once this group hears what the wedding plans are, I think they'll understand.  They'll have that, "OH! Well, that explains" moment. If you start a wedding website, you can include just a brief outline of what those plans are as well, which is another way to get the word out.
  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride
    I would do something a bit different. I think if you have an engagement party, the people invited to that will expect some kind of wedding invite.

    I would suggest you do a small destination wedding and then have a larger reception when you get back. People don't mind that and completely understand when people do it that way round.
  • I think an at home celebration sounds perfect, but I wouldn’t have it be an engagement party. An engagement party suggests that an invite to the wedding will follow and it could lead to some awkward conversations. I would hold a reception in the UK as a second celebration after the wedding instead. 
  • Kay57Kay57 Posts: 5 New bride
    Thanks for everyone's input! Will take it on board and have a good think
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