I got my wedding photos back and I hate myself for not losing more weight

I just go my photos, and all I can focus on is my stomach. The dress fit, lots of people said nice things, I had a lovely day. BUT - I just hate that I wasn't a stone lighter.

I'd planned to lose a serious amount of weight - I was a stone and a half lighter than I am now four years ago and getting to that weight took two months of serious but manageable willpower, so the plan was to just do that again. But then I just... didn't. I put a bunch of weight on pre-Christmas, starved myself for a month before the first dress fitting and lost ten pounds, and then seemed to run out of steam. I still tried to diet and exercise but indulged myself on weekends, ended up gaining maybe three pounds after the initial crash diet and then stayed there.

Now I look at the photos, and they're not horrendous or anything but I just look like a larger person than I am in my head if that makes sense? I'm dreading showing my mum the pictures - as a family we're all obsessed with our weight, and she's going to know that I'm disappointed and she won't be able to stop herself saying something about the dress pulling a little around the waist. My sister was my Maid of Honour - she lost two stone for the wedding and I really hate that I couldn't do the same. 

It's driving my husband mad that I can't just be happy with the fact that we had a lovely day and now have a very happy marriage, but all I can think about is that I had one shot at this, being thinner clearly matters to me, and I completely blew it. Now I feel like I still need to lose weight, but that I shouldn't try because if I manage it now I'm just going to hate myself even more for not doing it when it mattered. I don't know what to do!

Posts

  • Ambam19Ambam19 Posts: 583 New bride
    Stop being so hard on yourself! Beating yourself up for shoulda woulda coulda is not changing anything at all but like you're punishing yourself. 
    You have a life and that is stressful sometimes. You need to be able to enjoy things without worrying about the calories etc. 
    Now, if you want to lose some weight do it without the pressure of a wedding coming up. 
    You'll have looked beautiful and you got married to someone who adores you. 

    Now, I just need to follow that advice as I get married in 2 months and want to lose a stone but keep comfort eating 🙈🤣
  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride
    I know exactly where you're coming from. I was always a big girl and whilst I hated being big, I also had a very big "screw you" attitude and never did anything about it. As a part of our wedding package, we got 3 months free gym membership so in January 2015 I did something I've never actively done and went on a 'diet'. I downloaded My Fitness Pal and went to the gym. In that first 3 months I went from 15st 1lb to being 13st 12lb on my wedding day. I've gone on to lose a further 3.5st and I look back at my wedding photos and get so mad at myself because if I'd had the mind set 2 years before the wedding I'd have been a skinny bride. On the flip side, my husband looks at me regularly when I have these mini rants and simply tells me that I looked beautiful on our wedding day and I should just let it go and be happy that I'm now a skinny wife who runs miles for fun...I'm also slightly mental lol

    I guess what I'm saying in a long winded way is that you cannot change what's in the past, so try to focus on the amazing way your husband looked at you on your wedding day, because I'm sure you looked stunning!
  • Nicola367Nicola367 Posts: 9 New bride
    Thanks guys - I know it's in the past and that there's no point stewing over it. Steeled myself, went through them all with my mum - she had plenty of passive aggressive comments ("Do you like your dress? I feel a bit responsible because I helped pick it. Still, I think the others you tried were worse") but I laughed it off. Will get on with married life and try to shift a bit more weight but more sustainably than I was in January!
  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride
    Gotta love mothers don't you!
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,942 New bride
    I think the issue here is more the size of your mother's mouth than the size of your wedding dress. 
    I'm sure you looked beautiful and still do.
  • Sci-Fi NerdSci-Fi Nerd Posts: 56 New bride
    MrsCToBee said:
    I think the issue here is more the size of your mother's mouth than the size of your wedding dress. 
    I'm sure you looked beautiful and still do.
    @MrsCToBee some of my friends who are engaged have told me some of the shocking things their mothers have said. Thankfully mine hasn't been too bad (except the first thing she said on seeing the engagement ring we picked was: "it's a bit small, isn't it?" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 THANK YOU, MOTHER, YES, I DO LOVE IT). 


    As for OP: please remember that something amazing happened on that day. You got married. Married! I know we always look back at photos and worry but it's not worth ruining the memory of the day over. Remember how you felt ON the day? Hold on to that feeling

    and if you do want to lose more weight - go for it. But do it for you, not for one specific day. 
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