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i lost my baby

ive not posted in this forum before but i put up a thread in the general chat when i found out i was pregnant. when i was 9 weeks i got taken into hosp. for an emergency scan cos i was bleeding and having cramps. there they discovered i have a few clots very near to the placenta which could be causing the bleeding and was told to expect more so i was sent on my way. i carried on as normal but yesterday i had my 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat. they cant give me much of an explanation at this stage but im to go back on tuesday for a D&C? I think thats what they said, well i havent been feeling anything, i havent even cried and ive been posting in the other chats as normal. am i a horrible person for not grieving for my unborn child. i dont know what to make of it all!


  • sarahrobsonuksarahrobsonuk Posts: 3,266
    You'll be in shock, i'm sooo sorry, what a shame...How's your htb taking it? it sometimes takes a bit of time to sink in, you're not a horrible person.!!
  • mrsgibbs2bmrsgibbs2b Posts: 468
    I am so sorry about what you are going through but I don't think you're a horrible person at all.

    This is a massive shock for you and how you feel now might not be how you feel tommorrow or next week. Don't put yourself under any pressure to feel what you 'think' you should feel - just take each day as it comes.

    I had a miscarriage a few years ago although it was entirely different - I didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't feel anything then but my h2b was devastated.

    How is your h2b feeling? xxx
  • bouncy35ukbouncy35uk Posts: 1,416
    H2B is in bits. hes taking it quite hard because we already had a couple of scans where it was kicking about and waving its hands at us! we have a son who is 11 months already so some family members have been like oh its for the best and, well you already have a child who is such a young age anyway, maybe 2 was going to be too much for you! what they say goes in one ear and out the other! today i went into town to do weddingy stuff and bought my tiara and picked out my necklace so just been throwing myself into the wedding stuff to take my mind off it.i suppose everyone deals with grief in different ways too
  • you are not a horrible person at all! I had a miscarrage 9 months ago and i cried a little on the day but it didn't really sink in for a few days. Everyone reacts differently so don't worry, this is just your way of dealing with it. xx
  • sarahrobsonuksarahrobsonuk Posts: 3,266
    What a shame. No one should say its for the best tho!! even if they're trying to cheer you up. I wouldn't go too far from your house, incase it comes away, sorry to sound so graphic. Thinking of you.XXXX
  • bouncy35ukbouncy35uk Posts: 1,416
    saz39 i never thought of that. im not going anywhere now til tuesday when i go into hospital. was supposed to be going to the SATC film on friday night with friends but not feeling up to it. and ive been signed off work so dont have to worry with that either.

    it was mainly my gran that said about it being for the best etc. shes weird towards me and favours all the other grandchildren but im the one that does most for her. she always says im like my father and does it with an attitude. (me and my dad dont stand for ppls crap and say what we think!) my mum on the other hand tends to let ppl walk all over her. bit of background info on that!
  • Mrs-McG-2bMrs-McG-2b Posts: 471
    grief is a strange thing i lost my mum 6 weeks ago and havent done much crying or anything like that you just need to do whatever you can to help yourself get through it

    you will prob find it hits you more after your d&c cos then you know its real and that its actually happened

    im so sorry to hear it just keep going xx
  • bouncy35ukbouncy35uk Posts: 1,416
    thanks for all your messages! i asked my parents to have our son overnight on the monday and h2b has tues and wed off work so he will be there for me!
  • hotprincessukhotprincessuk Posts: 2,520
    I'm so sorry to hear this awful news. Can't offer any advice really, just wanted to give you a big ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

    Joanne xxxxx
  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    Really sorry for you. Don't feel bad about how you are dealing with things. My dad died when I was 17- didn't cry. I also had an ectopic pregnancy at 6 weeks so they did emergency op to remove it all. Didn't cry about that either.

    All I would advise is that you talk to your h2b about it. Losing our baby nearly split us up cos he was a lot more upset than I knew.

    It's just the way it was for us- i was supporting him more because he needed more support!

    I hope everything goes as well as possible at the hospital. xx
  • shopaholicukshopaholicuk Posts: 1,478
    didn't want to read and run

    i am sorry for your loss and wish you luck in the future
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