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Afraid of child birth to the point of not having children!!!

unfortunatly its something you just have to accept when you get pregnant......that the baby has to come out either one of 2 ways. i'm expecting my second in under 4 weeks and yes im pooping myself! but i'm more pooping myself incase i have to have a c-section! when i had my first i went into hospital at 3pm and was 6cm dilated an hour and a half later i'd had my baby and had no stitches so was back on my feet in minutes! im hoping for a similar birth this time.....yes the pain was bad but once it was over it was over. and if i was to have had a c-section i would have landed up feeling sorry for myself for a lot longer time! but if you cant take much pain then what about opting for an epidural? they work wonders apparently. and an epidural type thing is what you'd have for a c-section anyway! dont let it put you off having babies, infact giving birth (however you do it) is the most magical experience, and when you do get pregnant your midwife will discuss all your options with you! x


  • 141Bash141Bash Posts: 500
    I understand your worries, though my fears are different. I have always had a severe phobia of vomiting, and I am so scared of morning sickness and the possibility of feeling sick or being sick during birth. But I want children so much I am going to go for it anyway.
  • Hello,

    i saw a lady on this morning a couple of months ago who had a real fear of natural childbirth (it's a actual medical condition there is a name for it) she talked to her midwife and consultant and they agreed to do a c-section for her. Dont let it put you off having children, speak to your GP and make sure he/she takes you seriously and hopefully they will give you some options to consider.

    I'm due in 3 weeks and so scared as it's my first, but i will just see how it goes - good luck xx
  • katiespencekatiespence Posts: 415
    I think if there was a risk of psychological trauma to the mother, that would be reason for health professionals to consider a c-section. Why don't you have a chat to your GP?

    There are risks and downsides to a c-section, so you need to consider these too.

  • magsieukmagsieuk Posts: 1,434
    I'm a midwife so perhaps I can help.

    The condition some of the ladies have been talking about is Tocophobia, its basically a phobia of childbirth and is a recognisable condition. Midwives and consultants do see this condition, and although it is rare, they are sympathetic and will take your concerns seriously.

    C Section is not without risk, and believe it or not, is actually not the easy option to vaginal birth. The recovery rate is a lot longer, there are risks assosiated as with any form of major surgery (which this is), such as wound infection, haemorrhage, bladder damage to name but a few, however, this does not mean you wouldnt be allowed a C Section if you were diagnosed with Tocophobia.

    Please dont let this perfectly natural fear of childbirth put you off having children, should you decide in the future that you would like to start a family you need to speak to a sympathetic GP before you do anything. Midwives, obstetricians etc are all there to help and support you all the way through your pregnancy and whichever way you deliver.

    If you want to chat to me in private then feel free to email me and I'll help you in any way I can.

    Mags xxxx
  • sarahl1983sarahl1983 Posts: 407

    I think you should talk to your doctor first, discuss the options you have ie c-section or natural delivery.

    Surely you must of been through some pain since you where 8 and have not passed out.

    Please don't not have children as you will regret it. If anything did happen and surely it won't you will be in a hospital full of doctors that can be there for you.

    If you want a c-section you'll be able to have one, if you really don't want a natural birth you can live with the things that you can get with a c-section it's a thing everyone has to do, whether natural or c-section there can be complications.

    I had my son in October 2002 and i had a natural birth, he had trouble breathing after birth due to my labour, i was in labour 2 and a half hours with gas and air only for the last hour. I was 19 when i had my son and the midwife didn't beleive i was in labour she thought i was to young to know the urge to push! I went to all my ante-natal classes and i loved being pregnant.

    You'd think i'd be put off by the labour i had but it was amazing i loved every second of it even when they made me have a bath.

    It was fun seeing the look of shock on the midwifes face when she examined me at 8 cms.

    The pain side of labour is taken away by the contractions pushing through your body, i hope you understand what i mean. All i can explain it as is a big whoosh from the top of your stomach right the way down and you push through the pain.

    Sorry for going on a bit, i've got to wait til after my wedding April 2009 to start planning baby number 2 but i'm so looking forward to it and i hope i can give birth naturally then.

    The midwife that delivered my son was wonderful and inspired me to want to become a midwife. Just need to save the pennies after the wedding.

    Good luck with everything and go and see a good doctor.

    Take care.


  • sh0rtyuksh0rtyuk Posts: 1,379

    I think the medical term for what you are looking for is 'tokophobia', fear of child birth which re-dates pregnancy.

    I agree with the other ladies on here. Speak with you midwife and all consultants involved. Have you ever thought about maybe speaking to a psychologist, maybe they cane help you overcome your phobia.

    i hope you find alternatives as I would hate to think that this horrible phobia could affect your chances of having a family.x
  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    Have you thought about hypnotherapy?

    I think it's becomming more common now that you can be hypnotised to help you deal with the pain. A lady i went to antenatal classes with did it- i think it did help.

    Might be worth a shot!
  • purple_monkfishpurple_monkfish Posts: 1,366
    You can possibly opt for a csection if you talk to your midwife about your fears. Otherwise, there's always drugs.. ooo drugs...

    I had a vaginal (thought slightly pre term at 36 weeks) birth with an epidural and let me tell you, that drug was a godsend. I was becoming violent toward the poor midwife ahhahaha.

    I don't cope well with pain but you know, the birth wasn't that bad.. it was the good part. The labour before hand when they wouldn't give me drugs (grrr grrrrr) and the part afterwards where I ended up locked into the hostpital and unable to leave (again, grrr grrr) were hard. Most women don't go through that though, most women the doctors believe her when she says she's in labour (stupid hostpital) and most let the woman LEAVE after a day or two. I was in for a week thanks to preterm birth and various different issues and honestly, i'd take the pain of labour any day over the cabin fever heh.

    Don't let it put you off childbirth, there's a lot of things they can do to help ease the pain and discomfort these days. There are a lot of different drugs readily available and I can only speak from my experience but gas and air wasn't so good... epi.. it was amazing. I was in love with the anesthesiologist hahahaha

    Anyway, talk to your gp etc etc and they should be able to offer you support. Don't worry too much! pregnancy is uncomfortable yes but well worth it, I have a very low pain tolerance and I can honestly tell you, there are worse things. Especially given modern science has given us soooo many options for pain relief. YAY PAIN RELIEF!

    You don't even need to go for drugs if you don't want to. Next time, I wanna use a tens machine and see if they actually work. My little boy came early so we didn't have time for any of that but next time.. next time I know what to expect (sorta) and I wanna play with the electric machine thingie.. hahah, i'm like a kid with a new toy, seriously.. i'll be playing with it till it stops helping then demand an epidural like a scary psycho woman mwhahahaha.
  • libbylou85libbylou85 Posts: 779
    i was diagnosed with tokophobia and had my son Owen janurary this year by c section and i recovered very well even quicker than my sil that had a natural labour, but everybody is different so i would talk to your gp.

    i developed this whilst pregnant and my mental health really suffered, it wasn't until my section was booked that things started to get better for me, so i will be having all my children by c section as i have a history of depression and anxiety disorders coupled with the tokophobia my consultant has pre-approved any more c sections needed, this came as a great relief.
  • Hey all,

    Im new to this section of the site as got married in August and TTC is our next step. We have a cruise booked in Feb so thought about coming off pill to get my body back to normal and start trying in Feb.

    This site is great though as I am petrified of being sick (141 Bash can completely relate as had this all my life - I dont think id cope with being ill and it scares me to death)

    I too am scared of the pain and what to expect. Ive never really had pain to know how Id cope and Im rubbish with anything medical (only recently had a blood test and Im 32 years old)

    I dont want to let it stop me but boy its a scary thought of going through it all. I watched that One Born Every Minute programme and looks bloody awful!!

    Anyway its good to hear everyones stories and advice image
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