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PLS HELP!!! How to reject expensive baby gifts!


Hi Mums/Mum2b,



basically, I have a loving friend who I have recently asked to be godmother to my daughter. She earns a lot of money (I do not) and says she loves doting on dd and buying her expensive or many gifts in one go. Eg. recently she bought my dd 4 coats in the same size...which most mothers would not do. She btw is not a mother...



i dont want her to buy her lots of gifts/expensive ones esp. ones that i could not afford myself. this is not because I have a chip on my shoulder, because even if i earnt the money she does i still would shop in mothercare! the point is, I think many of things she buys are inappropriate or a waste of money for what they are.... but how can I tell her. She even offered to pay some money towards her chrsitening, which although she meant well... i was insulted. We can afford to pay for our own dd's christening evenits not as she would her future daughters. I operate on the philosphy that if i cant afford i dont do it.. simple.. but she always wants to foot the extra part of the bill which is not her responsibility and insulting for me and my partner.



how do i tell her? today she rang me asking how old my dd is so she could buy her yet another outfit from some little boutique. I am sure to her it sounds like a great idea.. but to me... little boutique means.. sh*t if it doesnt fit, then I cant even return it or exchange for a bigger size! also little boutique means expensive and I wouldnt buy her stuff from there unless for a special occasion... now she says she's upset because i wont allow her to spend her money etc grrrrrrrrrrr i am so frsutrated.



she even made a comment that she doesnt expect the same for her future daughter.. and to be honest, I wouldnt buy her expensive gifts even if i could afford because i know that children need love, time and care not levi shirts at 6months old!!!! I would rrather offer my experience in the years to come for her, but fear she wont appreciate this..



what should i do?! I hate that i upset her, but I have to be ghonest.. pls help!



Posts

  • clarryclarry Posts: 3,311
    Hmmm this is similar to what I've battled with with my parents for the past 4 years!!!!! (and still do)

    It is so frustrating isn't it. I've no idea what you can as this is your friend and it's easier to have it out with your parents!

    Please let me know if you find a way of dealing with this as I'd love some tips!!



    I dread christmas - My parents always have to buy bigger, more expensive presents for my son and I hate it. Up until last year they even made him a stocking up and said father christmas had been to their house too!!!! Lots of screaming later (tried talking, asking nicely, explaining blah blah) they agreed to only get him 1 present last year - just turned out to be a bloody expensive ride on tractor (the sort of thing santa always brought in my family!)

    It's winding me up thinking about it. They poo on everything! Aggrrrrrr

    Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant - I feel your frustration!!!!!

  • thanks you. but you see for me, the point is I dont even want my dd getting used to expensive gifts/lots of one go, as I'd hate for her to look down on others' smaller/simpler gifts... I want her grow up really appreciating her nan taking her to library to borrow a dvd than an aunt buying her a box set of every film in teh world lol! It's not even about her making me look bad.. (yet).. we're just different.



    I suppose that is just how they show their love and so rejecting the gifts is liek rejecting the love
  • clarryclarry Posts: 3,311
    Oh no I didn't mean it to sound like I was annoyed that they make me look bad! It winds me up as they are constantly buying him things, he has something new every week which is ridiculous. I want him to learn the value of things and not to grow up thinking he can have what he wants. They refer to everything as a 'treat' which is just wrong.

    I don't understand with my parents as this is not how they brought me up.



    You should be able to make the choice what your child does and does not have. Your friend obviously has very different opinions to you but she also needs to understand that she is insulting you with her constant 'show' of love.

  • just got off the phone with the pal...I am so pleased I spoke to her. She said she didnt realise that I took her gifts badly and that she was upset that we 'so-called' friends couldnt be honest about everything.. well I was upset too... we had it out and i think its sorted now xxx



    Thanks for your help x



    With your son, you sound like you have the right idea. Your parents will have to accept it too!!



    Good luck this christmas!!!!
  • clarryclarry Posts: 3,311
    Glad you have sorted(ish) it x
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