Is it true that the Second Baby is easier??????

After talking loads with DH, about the pros cons and worries of having another Baby..................... we are going to just let nature takes it course! he decided he would be excited if I had a positive test!

So I wanted to know if carrying and giving birth to your second baby is different from your first?? I had really bad weight gain and post natal depression and anxiety problems last time. Although I had a very straight forward (on the exact due date) delivery (6 hours) and only have a couple of stretch marks. I had no friends to go through it with and my parents seperated when I was six months pregnant.

Does this mean that I will have the same symptoms again? or will it be completely different?

Its mainly the depression, weight gain and the general 'freaking out-ness' of having in-laws in your face wanting a piece of you all the time that puts me off, it gives me a feeling of being smothered and judged. Its hard to explain, but it just seems that: I want another one, my body is ready, my DH wants the fairytale but the mental side of it all is holding me back!

Any advice :\?


  • You have my sympathy about the in laws, it's much harder than you ever think it will be, it's very hard to explain but it can make you feel very claustrophobic.

    I hope your second pregnancy will be easier, if you're really worried about it maybe you could find someone to talk to as it sounds like you had quite a tough time. Ask your HV they might be able to point you in the right direction. Do you have other friends with children? I was part of a large antenatal group and so have a good circle of mummy friends to keep me sane! Being a mummy can be very isolating, with this next baby go to as many groups as you can and build up some good supportive friends.

    I wish you lots of happiness & an easy pregnany! ;\)

    Chela xxx
  • Hi

    My oldest daughter is 8 years old now & my pregnancy was really easy, no sickness, stretchmarks etc & I was back in my size 8 jeans the day I came home from hospital. People I was in college with didnt even know I was pregnant, unless I told them. Even the birth was easy, I actually went to sleep for 2 hours in the hospital after they'd given me an epidural. She was also a really easy baby, slept right through from 6 weeks old, even potty training etc was done really quickly.

    My 2nd (who is now 8 months) was completely different. I havent got any stretchmarks & have lost most of my baby weight, but still have a bit of a tummy. The pregnancy was not too bad, but felt faint a lot, actually fainted twice having blood taken. I was also bigger & just generally felt rubbish most of the time. The birth was also worse, the pain was horrible, nothing like I remembered from my first. She's the happiest baby in the world, but not as easy as my first. She still doesnt sleep all the way through & she's 8 months old. Dont know how i'm going to cope when I'm back in work. She also needs more entertaining & attention than Chloe did.

    I'm not saying that the 2nd child is harder, just that no 2 pregnancies/children are the same. So if you had difficulties with your 1st, you might find that your 2nd child is easier.

    I think you just learn to adjust to the new person, mentally, physically & emotionally. It was just the 3 of us for 8 years & now we've got Evie, but it feels like she's always been here. I know in laws can be annoying sometimes, but they are there to help so maybe just have a quiet word with them to say that you appreciate their help, but you are coping fine & will let them know if you need anything.

    Thats just my opinion though, other people might disagree with me.

    I hope it goes well for you. x
  • I hope so lol currently ttc for No. 2

    With my first i also suffered pnd, so i undertstand completely how you feel, however i do hope that circumstances at the time, work home and partner were the major factor, this time it's all different in every aspect, so hoping never ever to get pnd again, but who knows!

    I suffered no sickness cravings etc with first didn't know i was pregnant til 19 weeks, so hoping that may change this time round to, but again we'll see.

    Maybe this time round you should look at mum & baby groups maybe, i know i will be as i won't know anyone where i'm moving, plus it's little things like going to groups, taking baby swimming etc that i missed out on last time.

    Good luck to you image x
  • Its funny how something so amazing (be able to produce a human being) is so SCARY even if you've done it once! Thank you all for your replies, its so good to hear I'm not alone!

    (smurf123) I had no morning sickness with my first either, but I craved Indian food and prawn cocktail crisps so I gained weight in the last 3 months like wildfire!! I hated myself.

    (MrsC2b2010) Yes! all my circumstances surrounding me are different this time too, new Husband who can't even go to the toilet without kissing me goodbye! lol, a 7 year old son who desperately wants to be a big brother, my mum & dad are back together.

    Although this time my new mother-in-law is worse than the last! interferring. and My new sister in law had a baby 6 months ago, shes one of those "well my labour was 30 hours so im better than you" sort of girls, she would be ideal to talk but we have nothing in common and aren't close at all, I'm so down to earth its unreal, but she is a snob (even has her own cleaner! lol) but doesn't work! and moans about the three Holidays a year to exotic locations! (we cant even afford a night in a B&B!!)

    (chela) I would definatley look into baby groups, I wish I did more last time. I went to one once with an old ex friend, but I felt like I was the odd one out?? they all seemed older/more responsible and knew what they were doing and to be honest it was all babies babies, it was like they had no separate identity for me to get to know? it was all about "my baby starting crawling, walking and reading before yours did" etc then standing round in a circle with complete strangers singing "the wheels on the bus" just wasn't for me! or was it the PND?

    I'd rather do that at home lol (which I did - a lot!) my boy knows the words to Mary Poppins as I sung it loads!

    Well my last proper AF stated 25th Nov, I had already stopped my pill on the 22nd Nov (i had regular 35 days cycles, 7 days of AF quite heavy. I had a funny not normal bleed last week that lasted three days but was (SORRY IF TMI!) only dark disharge and only a teeny weeny red on day 2?? most unlike me! anyway my boobs are really tender since friday, so today I'm off to get another test do you think I should? (I did one on the 5th jan, 3 days late - negative) I still had no period until the 16th jan (which was the weird one) so when that came..... I stopped testing (and wasting money lol) but as it was so weird and now my boobs are bigger and tender maybe I should still do one??

    What do you think girls? xx
  • I stopped my pill in August, and my periods are all over the place!! i wish they would calm down, have no idea when i ovulate nothing. Amazing i know more now than with my first and this time round it's taking longer, very frustrating!!

    My son is 8 would love a little sister, so would h2b (a daughter that is lol) so here#'s hoping there wishes come true.

    As for the test, the choice is yours, i say this as getting negatives are so unhappy, but you decide, your feeling could be right and it be a positive, i do hope so image
  • Hi MrsC2b2010!

    Yes we'd all like a girl! Last time I fell pregnant within the first month of coing off the pill, I had no periods at all back then so I had no clue either when i was ovulating! but as I fell so quickly I didn't look into it! I have this time! its only this time I actually know how many days my cycle is!!

    I remember sitting in the doctors room last time saying "I've just done a test and its positive!" she said "okay right lets work out some dates, when was your last period?" I said "erm 1997?" lol

    I'll go get one now, at least if its confirmed as a neg I can work out my cycle I suppose! and we can start trying properly! Back soon!

  • good luck! image

    Just a thought are you on baby expert?
  • My second pregnancy was easier because with my first I had really bad high blood pressure and kept going into hospital. I gained lots of weight with both pregnacies and have a son and a daughter. 14 months on from having my daughter, my weight is just starting to shift which is good because our wedding is in june this year.
  • Well its a negative! nevermind! its put my mind at rest. I'm not on Baby expert, I'll have to have a look!

    Roosterlady thanks for replying, its fascinating to know how it went for other people. I didn't really try hard to loose weight afterwards, I just kept on eating for two I think! but once I did start keeping an eye on things and got another job it did come off the first time, I just hope it does for the second! (if it happens!) I'm nearly 33 (June) so clock is ticking loudly!

    I wish for you a lovely hot sunny day in June for your Wedding!

    Looks like I'll be a regular on here, I love reading everyone stories! and seeing their pictures of their baby and scans! one day it will be ALL of our turns again!

  • Sorry it was a negative image

    Take alook at baby expert, it's YYW sister site, and ther's a few from here on there to, plus more people to offer advice with everything
  • Will do! thank you! Its not bad its a negative, gives me more time to get my head in the right place! roll on next month though! xx
  • No, it's not easier. In fact for me, it's been harder. I've miscarried twice after a successful first pregnancy so nope, we're gonna have to fight and struggle to get a second.

    All three of my pregnancies have been different. First I had next to no symptoms till 9 weeks, then the nausea kicked in with a vengence. I was sick as a dog and uncomfortable all the time but medically, everything was totally normal... that was till he decided to be born a month early, gah. Pre term labour was something I never thought i'd have to face, it totally took everyone by surprise. Thankfully, everything was fine, the birth was totally fine and my little man, though little, is fine and healthy.

    Second pregnancy started with heartburn, serious, horrible heartburn. Then I started getting stabbing pains in my side. An U/S confirmed that while it wasn't a tubal, it was implanted very very high in my uterus. That one didn't grow past 5 weeks.

    The third one started with sore boobs, bloating and neausea at about 4 weeks in. I started bleeding on Saturday without warning.

    Anyway, I wish you the best of luck but as others have said, no a second pregnancy/baby isn't easier. Just different. I'll let you know IF we ever get a second successful pregnancy, whether the kid is the polar opposite to this little terror.
  • Well i'm really hoping No.2 will be easier! Im 12 weeks pregnant. First time round was pretty rough. I put on over 4 stone, got terrible stretch marks, and had PND, but I didnt get any medical help, my own fault for hiding it! I feel abit more confident about being being a mum again as I know more and have been through it once before so i know i can do it again. xxx

    Cat 12+3
  • purple_monkfish I'm so sorry for you and your family, I really am. Thank god your first is healthy, I've knew this woman who had 4 abortions (yes 4!) she miscarried twice but then went on to have 3 healthy kids. Her abortions and miscarriages were over a span of about 6 years. So if HER body managed to carry 3 babies full term, I have no doubt at all that you will have your chances too to have more brothers and sisters for your little one. I really do wish you loads of luck.

    Mrs cat, I didn't get any help for PND either, my panic attacks started a month after I was involved in a boat accident so the doctors and nurses put it down to delayed shock - I reckon it was more to do with PND, but the betablockers I was prescribed really help (and for my migraines!) Good luck to all of you and I really mean it with all my heart! my DH has backed away from the idea of more babies now, and to be honest so have I a bit! he leaves for work at 7am and gets back at 7pm and works some sat mornings! I'd really be ALONE! xx
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