Work vs Baby

Hi All

Me and hubby were discussing last night and was wondering what everyone was planning to do or already does when the baby is born will you go back to work full time, part time or be a stay at home mum?



  • Hi I went back to work part time when my boy was 6 months old, the thought of going back to work petrified me, I would have loved to be a stay at home mum, However due to our finances this was not possible so had to get a part time job, after a few weeks of working I really enjoyed the time at work to be me again and socialise with adults and have adult conversation.

    I feel I have the perfect balance, however everyone is different and what feels right for me may not feel right for somebody else.

    You really need to think about how you are going to feel in each senario.

    Hope I have helped a little.

    Good luck.xx

    [Modified by: MrsA-P2b on January 28, 2009 11:04 AM]

  • ang772ang772 Posts: 1,399
    I went back to work when Zac was 2years 1 month. we had decided to put him to nursery a couple of mornings. so now he goes to nursery wed am,grandmas pm&nursey allday thurs (i work wed/thurs allday) then we have the rest of the week together, its worked out great as I am working 16 hours we get 75% of nursery fees paid & gives us extra money too. so can treat ourselves bit.

    I don't think I could have went to back after 6months or a year, they change so much in that time.I am glad I didnt need to work.
  • Jubilee77Jubilee77 Posts: 2,213
    i went back to work when my son was 8 months old part time evening work. i then went back to uni when he was about 18months too
  • KylierukKylieruk Posts: 111
    I think it is a very personal decision and everybody will feel differently about it. We decided when I was pregnant that I would not return to work as it is important to both of us that our daughter have me at home with her. She is now 20 months old and I could not imagine going to work and leaving her with someone else, luckily we can afford to live on h2b's salary and do not need my income.

    I think sometimes it is hard to decide for sure until you actually have your baby, several of my friends have intended to return to work after 6 months or a year and have since decided not too... xxx
  • littlewulflittlewulf Posts: 2,061
    I went back to full time uni when my youngest was 9 months old, my oldest just over 2. As it was 1/2 studty 1/2 work i found it incredibly difficult!

    I now work part time 18 1/2 hours per week and i will continue to do this if I have more children.
  • Lauz41Lauz41 Posts: 2,582
    we are ttc at the minute and as much as i would love to give up work i dont think it will be possible - so i plan to take a year off and then go bacl part time unless my hubby gets a wage increase....he is self employed so it depends how things go but it also means that he could work from home days i went to work etc...its a personal choice really and as we dont live in an 'ideal' world you have to do what you want but also whats most practical.

    thats my view anyway lol

  • We have decided to let nature takes it course it take the pressure off us! I am the big earner so I'll need to be back at work after 5 months which isn't ideal. I hope to be able to work one day from home which in reality will be evenings so I can get another day with the baby. Its not ideal but we'll make the time at home count.
  • Like many of the others have said, it is hard to know how you'll feel until you are in that position, I felt and feel totally different to the way I thought I would about work.

    We had our baby a year ago and I took 8 months off which was fantastic and I loved every minute of the time I spent with our baby. I hated the fact i had to go back to work and 4 months on I still hate leaving him, however I know that I have to work as we couldn't live on 1 wage. I only work part time at the moment, which works out ok but I would much rather be at home. I feel guilty about having to work and putting our little boy in nursery but we have no choice, I spend my life dreaming of winning the lottery (which is obviously ridiculous!)

    Unfortunitely I think nowadays mums often have to work due to costs of mortgages etc and I sadly think that stay at home mums are becoming a thing of the past. I believe that it should be a choice that every mum should have but it just isn't and we shouldn't feel guilty about it (even though we do!)

    Anyway I must go and check yesterday's lottery numbers as I could be sitting on a small fortune!

  • landrelandre Posts: 36
    Thanks for all your comments. I would love to be a stay at home mum but i know it won't be possible it's just whether we can afford for me to work only part time which would be second best option still not even pregnant yet so got a while to think about it!!!x
  • cressydec08cressydec08 Posts: 1,474
    I will be a SAHM.

    Contrary to popular believe, SAHMs do not spend their entire day watching daytime TV, nor are they starved of contact with other adults or deprived of adult conversation!

    My sister is a SAHM and attends lots of activities with her children, and this gives her the opportunity to mix with other mums, and have adult conversation.

    Some people have told me I'll regret staying at home, but I don't believe that for one moment.

    There is time for work in the future. However, once my babies arrive, I want to miss as few moments as possible in those precious first few years.

    I vowed to be a SAHM ever since my friend, who is a nanny, told me about the baby she was caring for. The baby said its first proper word during the day, and neither parent was there to see it, and it was just over a week later before one of the parents was there to hear the baby speak. My friend had to pretend it was the "first word" even though it wasn't. I want to avoid, where possible, missing moments like that.

    I know I'm fortunate that Isaac and I are financially secure enough for us to afford for me to stay at home and am incredibly thankful for that.
  • camillarose1camillarose1 Posts: 6,254
    Hi all,

    I have been a SAHM since Feb 2006. My son turns 3 on Valentines Day and originally my now ex partner and I decided after 6 months I would go back to work but part time, however, it was nearing that time and I couldn't do it. We were so lucky to be financially stable for me not to so I gave up working altogether and haven't looked back since.

    Jack and I do all kinds of things during the day and it's great for me to tell his Dad what new things he has learnt etc and that I instead of a stranger have witnessed it.

    Unfortunately, last May Jacks father and I split up yet we remain firm friends and when Jack starts nursery pretty soon I will go back to work part time.

    Just thought i'd share! x
  • bouncy35ukbouncy35uk Posts: 1,416
    when my son was 4 months old i wanted to get back to work (normality as it was for me) but i actually went back when he was 8 mum gave up her day job so we dont pay childcare and hes still with close family which makes me feel better than putting him to nursery where everything to him is strange.and you never know who you are leaving your child with these days! after we have our second baby we will do the same.
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