Is this normal?


We were meant to get married last year but due to a number of reasons, we decided to postpone the wedding until after having the baby. Our gorgeous son was born on 5th January and he is a lovely, easy baby to look after. We did have sleepless nights but he is nearly 7 months now and is fab...sleeps most of time and is still very easy.

However, over the last 6-8 weeks I have started to feel really down. I have had several problems after the birth, had 5 lots of antibiotics becuae i had an infection that they couldn't shift. I have now been referred for a laparoscopy becuase the consultant wasn't sure if I have endometriosis. All that said, over the last few weeks, I haven't wanted H2B to come anywhere near me. I don;' want to kiss or hug him, let alone anything else. I did suffer PND with my daughter but have been trying to fight these feelings this time. I just don;t know what to do...I know I should see a doctor but feel its a failure really! Not sure what to do...any advice gratefully accepted.



  • mrsmermaidmrsmermaid Posts: 417
    If you have posted for advice on here you must feel that there is a problem. It sounds like you know that you need to see the doctor.

    The thing is, youre not a failure at all. In fact you have just told us you have produced a gorgeous son, have a man that wants to marry you and your son is settled and easy to look after. Sounds like youve had a few set backs and maybe need to at least speak to someone about how you're feeling just to make sure you dont start feeling worse.

    If someone had broken a leg you wouldnt think they were a failure if they needed a plaster cast to help it heal. This is no different. Good luck
  • chess4chess4 Posts: 1,831
    Hi hun,

    I've no real advice, but just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in these feelings. I felt like that for a long time after my (now 2 year old) twins were born.

    What I do know is that its at about 6 months after the birth that all the hormones that keep us ticking over start to disappear, and that may be why you're feeling so down. Also, its at about this point that the tiredness catches up with us (not to mention how exhausted you must be having had to fight illness/infection as well!).

    Most importantly, seeking help would not be a failure. In fact, that would be the complete opposite! Your family need you to be happy and healthy and seeing a professional is the best way to secure that, for yourself as well as its obviously getting you down even more.

    Hope you feel better soon xx
  • Thanks! I guess I wanted to know if it was normal to direct the feelings towards H2B instead of anyone else? I seem to be ok around other people, tired and quieter than normal but other than that, myself! I guess I am worried as I can;t seem to snap out of it when it comes to H2B, he has asked me to talk, wants to know how he can help...I just can't seem to tell him I am not sure how I feel right now.
  • chess4chess4 Posts: 1,831
    I was in the same position and was for really quite some time with regards to my now hubby after our girls' birth. However, we have always talked quite frankly and I'm not one for being able to hide my emotions or true feelings. I think this really helped. Although I couldn't bear intimacy on a physical level, emotionally and supportively we were as close as we could.

    I would still advise seeing your GP for help. You seem to want to open up and admit your feelings but are having trouble identifying them, and maybe someone outside the situation could help you channel your thoughts, and this will help you communicate with your h2b? These are all positive steps to a happier future... x
  • Thanks. I am hoping to go and see the Doctor tomorrow. I did give the Health Visitor a ring yesterday as she always asks how I am...she was on leave, typically! I'll try and get an appointment tomorrow to see what the Doctor says. I guess I will have to explain myslef to H2B..he has noticed and I keep saying I am tired. I don;t want to hurt his feelings as I really don't know how I feel!
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