How to put a pause on broodiness?

I am getting very impatient now!

We need to wait to buy a house and get new jobs up north where we are relocating so in the meantime have to wait before ttc, but I am sooooo broody!



What can I do to distract myself other than look at houses as we are still a year away from that?!



Also, when and what do we need to do to help ttc...I know the folic acid bit 12 mths before but is there anything else?? xx:\?

Posts

  • I have no idea but would like to know as well. I am super broody and still a year and a half away!
  • At the end of the day if you want a baby you want one and I don't think it's possible to switch that off. But I am trying to focus on other things.



    We are getting married in 9 months so I'm focussing on that and trying to get really fit and healthy. Also, we need to move into a bigger house so I am saving every penny and working out every month how much more we need.



    Also try focussing on why you are waiting. If I got pregnant now we'd have to cancel the wedding so we could afford to move sooner and I don't want to be unmarried when I have a baby. Nor do I want us to struggle financially or have to put up with a house that us unsuitable for a baby. If we wait we'll be that much more ready. I want things to be right and unfortunately that means waiting. To put it another way - you are waiting so you can give your baby the best possible start in life.



    I also think that looking at baby and pregnancy things probably doesn't help but I'm obviously not taking my own advice as I still look at this forum! I think about having a baby all day, every day but I'm just about managing to cope without cracking up at the moment.



    xxx

    [Modified by: MissPoppy on September 15, 2009 09:17 AM]

  • I know what you mean- this waiting business is a killer! All I'm doing to ward off my ultra broodyness is enjoying holidays and a social life whilst it's just the 2 of us... and keeping my eye out for maternal or baby bargains so I'm well prepared and don't feel like everything's on hold.



    Out of interest, where did you get the information about starting to take folic acid 12 months before? I obviously saw all the stuff on the news last week and I've read a fair bit in midwifery journals etc and it was my understanding that women planning a pregnancy should make a conscious effort to commence prophylactic treatment of 400????g folic acid before conception, as it is essential at the time of embryogenesis (the process by which the emryo forms). There is no cumulative benefit of having folic acid in your system long before trying to conceive but it's beneficial to have it at the point of conception. Therefore, there is no arbitrary start date it's worth introducing it when you come off your main, robust contraception (e.g. pill, coil, implant) and switch to a barrier only protection like a condom whilst you're waiting for your cycle to normalise as there is a greater chance of conception at that point. If you feel like you're current method is not full proof (i.e. you often forget to take a pill) or you just don't trust it then it's best to take folic acid all of the time, just in case. Sorry if I've taken away one of your important count down markers!
  • JohannaBride - thanks for replying! Is it a year and a half until ttc or until you plan to actually have the baby? I think it'll be about 3 yrs for us in total (2 and a bit years until ttc!)

    Miss Poppy - that is very helpful thanks, you are right we have chosen to wait for all the right reasons, I think that looking at baby stuff does make it worse but because I seem to be hypersensitive to baby stuff at the moment they seem to be everywhere anyway! How are your wedding plans coming along?

    Daisy Queen - that is a good idea to do the things we would be unable to do for a while with a child, we must aim to date more! I read the folic acid thing on one of those babyforum websites, it suggested 3 months or ideally 12 months before hand but I will visit the GP or family planning clinic to be on the safe side.

    We only use condoms at the moment anyway and find those are 100% effective for us but are going to switch to the rhythm method at the end of next year.

    I always found the pill mucked my system up and I have tried three different types, all of which did their own little unpleasant tricks!

    Good luck to everyone ttc eventually image xx
  • I am so glad to know I am not alone!..



    DaisyQueen: I got my coil removed last month in this special clinic and the doctor said to start folic acid now. I asked if that wasn't a bit early if not ttc for over a year and she said , no because you want your body to be full with it and apparently that takes a while. Like when your lacking a vitamin , you will still be lacking it for a while once you take supplements? That's what she said anyway and since we are 'only' using condoms I started taking it 2 weeks ago. Makes the ttc seem closer!



    MrsDisneyPrincess: This will sound crazy now but I really want a baby born in January or February 2012 so will be ttc from April 2011. Does that sound about right? So that's 1 year and 7 months til ttc.



    Our situation will not be ideal. We won't have our own house yet and we will have a low income as H2B will only be halfway through a PhD then but if we waited for the house and finacial stability, I would be well into my 30s and I don't want that for several reasons. I figure we will just make do with what we have. Being educated and making sure your children do well at school is in my eyes more important than a lot of money.

    H2bs aunties all have money but are not very intelligent (sorry for saying that) and the way they raise their children is horrible. No books but a Playstation at age 2, things like that. They think the more expensive their toys are the better.



    We will be skint for the first 2 years of our childs life but I suppose that's the best time to have no money as they don't cost that much yet. By the time they reach school age, we should we fairly well off. We'll just grow as a family. If that makes sense.



    MrsDisneyPrincess, what exactly are your plans? Do you know names and stuff already? x
  • I don't think it is crazy as I am planning on having a september baby as I am a teacher hehe, plus they will be one of the oldest in their year etc.



    That would mean ttc around december 2011, so we have set the date of dec 2010 to start taking folic acid. Yippee!!



    Thanks for clearing up the folic acid issue, hubby is also going to start taking zinc and we are both going to aim to eat our 5 a day which we are rubbish at atm so I guess that is something to aim for!

    I think you will make a great Mum, hope it all works out as you planned! xx
  • That's the reason why i want a January baby! We are up here in Scotland which means the child would get an extra year of nursery and start school at age 5 and a half. I find 4 way too young. x
  • ooh im in this boat too! im half way through a phd now and we live in a small flat so not ideal to have a baby. although were both so broody its insane. so frustrating. were 27 and 28 now and getting married in 18 days.

    i want to suggest to h2b on our honeymoon that i come off the pill summer 2010. ive been on it for nearly 10 years now so might take a while for my body to adjust. i would like to ttc around jan 2011 then. i should be able to finish my phd before we actually have a baby.

    seems like ages away...
  • You'd be surprised though at what children can do at 4 image I will have to look into early years options as even though I teach I am fairly clueless about children younger than 6! As long as my children get access to playing with children of a similar age for some time throughout the week I'll be happy! I hope I don't turn into one of those 'my child has learned all twenty of their bear words in five seconds' parents, eep!
  • Hey, we're planning on the same thing. We want to try for a September, October,November baby so fingers crossed Dec 2010 to ttc, if we can get everything in place in time. That would mean having a baby the month I turn 30. I don't want to leave it any longer than that. I'm terrified of having problems ttc.
  • I am the same regarding the whole 30 barrier, I am 24 now so I do have a few years, but I'd ideally like to have 2 before I'm 30 so don't want to put it off too long!

    People are having happy, healthy pregnancies in their young thirties so I am sure I am worrying needlessly but I personally don't want to risk it!
  • i dont think you need to worry about till about 35. i have two colleagues who each had a healthy baby girl at age 41 and 42 respectively. not suggesting anybody wait that long for a first baby as i think the risks are there, but early 30s shouldnt be a problem.

    im also aiming at my first baby before/around age 30. im 27 now and if we start ttc in jan 2011 ill be around 30 when the baby is born. obviously its hard to tell how long it will actually take to conceive, but no point in worrying about that now.
  • I'm a teacher and 'aiming' for a December conception= September baby too. However we're already trying this month as we're ready financially, emotionally etc and I'm loving the fact that if it doesn't happen this month, I can think, 'oh well it isn't the best time of year anyway.' It's totally taken the pressure off- I'm sure that if we started trying properly in December I'd be completely obsessed with conceiving that month. But, if it does happen, great!



    I agree that if you're waiting for the right time, it's a good idea to do the things you won't be able to with a baby and appreciate them. Long lie-ins, nights out, weekends away (even if you're saving, the odd treat is possible), sponteneous stuff, peace and quiet! I've started 2 new hobbies to take my mind off ttc; we got married this summer so I'm also trying to avoid post-wedding blues by getting stuck into new projects.



  • I got a cat 6 months ago. Took my mind of broodiness for about 12 weeks...I really think I need a new hobby!
  • I know exactly how you feel i have felt broody for years, since i met my H2B and like someone said theres nothing you can do to get rid of the feeling. I guess i bever did as it wasn'the right time. But wedding planning, getting fit, starting a new hobby has kept me sane...i still think about having a baby everyday but i know i have to wait. Get married in 12 weeks but the annoying thing is we still have to wait after that as my brother is getting married in sept and im bridesmaid and obviously dont want to be due then!! So gotta wait till least March...if i can that is!!

    xxx
  • oh i am the same!! I keep trying to convince myself that i am not ready yet! but i so am! ha!! apart from everything else in my life isnt ready!! ha!



    I get married in 8 months and if i could i would try straight away, so would h2b! but we are living in a 1 bed flat that we are buying and are in negititvy equity so have to save and wait for markert to pick up before we can buy a bigger place!! boo!! So we will have to wait! altho i do sometimes try and picture the flat with a baby and convince myself it would work!! haha!!xx
  • I feel so broody too. I am sready to start trying for a baby now but h2b wants to wait til we get married, which is not until September 2011. Just been over to my sister's house, she has a 9 month old little boy and h2b is so good with him. It made me feel even more broody. However, I do respect h2b's views and we've both decided that we would only start trying when both of us think its the right time

    [Modified by: saliMali on September 17, 2009 11:07 PM]

  • What kinds of hobbies are people doing?

    Has anyone else's husbands/husbands to be put a ban on discussing babies every day?

    Mine has told me I can only mention babies 3-4 times a week as it is driving him crazy lol x
  • I'm focussing on trying to get fit so I've got some personal training at the gym and I'm working out 5 times a week. What with work and looking after the house, h2b and step kids that keeps me busy.



    I try not to go on about it too much. H2b knows how much I want a baby but we both know we have to wait so if I keep going on about it it's like I'm putting extra pressure on us. It does come up in conversation quite a bit though because we're planning for it.
  • wow glad i found this!!

    we originally said we were going to wait till 3/4yrs into our marriage but since i got married its like a physical need eventhough i'm aware that its just emotional since we just got married (2 months) i even bought this book "i want to have a baby?" note the question mark. and it sorta took the edge off for a while but my dh just sprung on me yesterday that he wants a baby next year.



    i'm quite ready however, i know that once we have one ...our relationship will change, and the thing is i'm truly loving the just the two of us stage and we always said we were going to travel.



    and we're moving into a two bed in the summer ...so by then the housing situation will be sorted

    but i am yet to get my QTS which will take at least 2 years as i want to go via the GTP route so need to dedicate one year to being a TA if i even want to be considered. i hate waiting, patience has never been a virtue i possess. we were meant to marry in july 2010, we moved it forward and now this.... hopefully this time i would be able to focus on why we're waiting.....or not waiting who knows! i'm only glad i found other people who are going through the same thing!
  • I was really broody 6 months ago too, but then my SIL gave me the full gory details of birth and following few weeks and it put me right off, for a while a least. I'd love a baby but really don't want to go through all that right now!

  • jodaho88jodaho88 Posts: 2,356
    Quoted:
    That's the reason why i want a January baby! We are up here in Scotland which means the child would get an extra year of nursery and start school at age 5 and a half. I find 4 way too young. x


    Hi Johannabride- just on your point about four being too young for school (i'm not saying you're wrong or anything, just giving you another perspective through personal experience).



    I started school at 4 years and 3 months old. My nursery teachers were begging my mum to try to get me into school because there was nothing further that they could teach me. I had to go somewhere to sit a test to prove that i was ready for school and passed it with flying colours.



    I started high school a few months after i turned 11 and didn't find that i was any less intelligent than those a year older than me. I left school at 16 after my Highers (A levels equivalent in Scotland) and graduated with a great degree at the age of 20. I went straight in to full time work and am now working my way up in my job and am really happy with how my life has gone so far.



    Just really wanted to point out that because i went to school early, i didn't miss out or fall behind etc like some peolple might think. Although i was jealous of everyone being older than me! lol



    Jx



  • Jo-Jo-Jo,



    thanks for your reply. I'm sure an early school entry is fine for a lot of childern. It's just that I grew up in a country where children start school at age 6 or 7 (almost all European countries do that actually) and go to nursery from age 3 til school, so 4 seems really young to me, for my future children anyway.



    I have made my mind up about that. My children would only go to nursery part-time, so I don't think 2 years would be too long.



    A "problem" we have in Germany is that since kids only leave school at 18 or 19 and uni degrees take 5-7 years, (add on a year of military or community service for men), a lot of people are 28 when starting their first job. Think that's a bit of an issue for women if you think about having babies etc.



    However, having been to unis here and in Germany, I find that sooo many kids going to uni here are so immature and have no idea of what they actually want to do with their lives. Many people I know have struggled because of this and the uni years seemed to be more like a holiday camp where you try to drink as much as possible and shag as many different people as possible.

    I'm a firm believer in giving young people the space and time to grow up and find their place in life before having to face the scary reality of full-time work.



    I am 26 now and will only finish uni next year. I'm sooo jealous of the people here because at 26 they are at a totally different stage in their lives. Had I grown up in the Uk, I could have a family now....



    Since my children would most likely grow up in Scotland, they would be able to start work at 23 roughly, that's early enough for me but at the same time, they will have some breathing space between starting work and starting a family. Probably the best of both sides..



    Johanna X

  • LampiekatLampiekat Posts: 3,527
    I so understand how you are feeling.



    I've been mega broody for a couple of years now but didn't want to have a baby till after we are married which is now only 109 days away!!!



    The problem i have is that where i work it's constantly full of expectant mothers and babies everywhere. 2 of our managers are pregnant aswell and the other week i was sat inbetween both of them and Oh My God the broodiness feeling was unbearable!!



    So can't wait to get pregnant but also a little worried as i had a miscarriage 13 years ago.



    xx
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