Forum home You & Your Baby



[Modified by: Dollface... on 06 December 2009 20:51:22 ]


  • Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine the pain you felt/are feeling about your miscarriage.

    I dont really have any great advice for you (as I have never been pregnant and wont be TTC until after we're married in Feb next year) but all I can say is give yourself time to grieve for your loss before you try again if you are still so raw about it. Like you said, this has taken the fun and excitement out of trying, but it's bound to, you've just gone through every woman's worst nightmare!

    You will know when you feel ready again to TTC so give yourself some time to relax about it all and recover from your awful experience.

    The way you are feeling it totally natural so dont beat yourself up about it and certainly dont consume yourself with worries about your next pregnancy (easier said than done I know!). You coudl fall next time and go on to have a wonderful pregnancy so try and keep a positive mind about that. Dont think the worst (again easier said than done!), take some pressure off yourself and try and be strong.

    Not sure if I've helped but big hugs to you, you will be OK! You will be OK. You can get through this. You will be OK! xx
  • Thank you...between the tears you made me laugh with your little "You'll be ok" chant!

    I know I need to stay positive, and loads of women have miscarriages and go on to have healthy pregnancies. I guess I have just convinced myself that there is something wrong with me. My friends and family keep telling me to stop worrying, and that I will be fine next time, but just when I think I feel better, something will happen to remind me of it and I crumple again. Thanks for your kind words xxx
  • Hi

    Just wanted to let you know that how you're feeling now was how i felt when I miscarried our first baby. It made me an emotional wreck.

    I too was very scared when I got pregnant again as, as you say all the innocence and joyfulness was taken out of it for me and was replaced by worry about losing another baby. The worry was always at the back of my head for the whole 9 months but there were many days I did enjoy being pregnant , like going for the scans and learning the baby was growing and doing fine and when she kicked away all day. Trying to explain how you feel to anybody who hasn't experienced a miscarriage is very hard as they will never understand the pain you've been through. All I can say is keep ttc and having a baby will happen for you I am may be an emotional wreck for the whole 9 months but it'll be worth it.

    We now have a beautiful baby girl who is everything we could have wished for. But I do still think about the baby we lost and wonder what he or she would have been like. Having another baby made it easier for us though. Good luck xx

  • Oh hun, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I too had a miscarriage in January and it was by far the worst experience of my entire life and would never wish that pain on anyone else. This Friday gone was my 'due date' and the week has been extremely difficult for me as I had so much wanted to have another BFP by now.

    I can totally relate to how you are feeling and the fear of miscarrying again. Pregnancy is such a wonderful experience but I'm scared i won't enjoy any of it. I try not to focus too much on what happened but its so hard to get over it and although it has gotten easier, I feel like I live my life iin two week stages (2 weeks from period to ovulation week, then a two week wait to see if AF arrives then two weeks to ovulation and on and on and on....its enough to drive a person bonkers!! Lol).

    I too went through a stage where I was emotionally all over the place and would steer clear of friends that had fallen pregnancy but to make it doubly hard was that my BIL girlfriend fell pregnant shortly after we lost our baby and its hard because there's wasn't a planned pregnancy and all she does is complain about it. I am happy for them but sometimes I feel like screaming at her that she doesn't know how lucky she is.

    Hun, I am sorry that I can't give you the advice you need that's going to help you through this because I don't know what it is, but enjoy your time planning the wedding and in time I'm sure everything will fall in to place and be ok.

    I wish you lots of luck. Big hugs.

    (Sorry it was so long. . . Oops) x

    [Modified by: Ainsley's wife on September 20, 2009 08:12 PM]

  • Thank you all for your lovely words and reassurance. I guess I feel very alone as none of my friends and family have been through this, although many of them have children, and it is a relief to hear that other women have had the same experience with miscarriage as I have done. It is good to know that these feelings are normal. Thank you again. You have helped me more than you realise xxx
  • Hi Dollface, glad you had a little giggle - I'm a firm believer in, well, believing! If I'm upset/stressed/whatever about something I say positive things to myself, out loud sometimes, to give myself confidence and to stop myself from 'falling down a hole'. It's so hard to pick yourself up after something so tragic like a miscarriage but you will get there. You will! image

    My thoughts are with the other girls here too xx
  • Hi

    I'm so sorry you had a miscarriage. I had a missed miscarriage in January and we found out at 13 weeks that the baby had died at 8 weeks. However, please don't give up hope or worry too much. As well as all of the upset I felt annoyed that the joy of pregnancy had been taken away from me but we started ttc pretty much straight away (although if you'd asked me at the time I would have said we were just 'not trying not to get pregnant'! But I felt really quickly and I'm now 28 weeks pregnant! I was worried at first but I somehow felt more positive and have actually really enjoyed this pregnancy. I had no idea that I'd even ov'd so when we got bfp I was quite surprised but everything is fine so far and baby is moving around like mad in there!

    Good luck, I hope your wedding goes well and when you decide to ttc again just try to keep positive and enjoy it.

  • I understand how you are feeling, I felt the very same. (still do when im having a wobble) I had an eptopic in July and lost our baby and a tube. I felt like it was the end of the world and I would never be able to ttc again as I wouldn't cope if anything happened again but with 3 weeks to go before we can start trying again I can now happily say that I am really looking forward to starting all over again.

    It takes time and lots of love from those close to you but you will get there and be a wonderful mum one day. xxx
  • Oh hun, i really hope you start to feel better soon. Having a mmc is the worst thing that i have ever experienced so know how low you must be feeling. I had my mmc in Dec and we were getting married in the April. To be honest, not sure how we got through it but we did, i think planning the wedding helped us. Like someone else has said its not just losing the baby but the whole process, being able to "cope" when the due date comes, seeing friends babies etc...

    I can give you some encouragement too i hope, on my due date which was in June, i found out i was preg again, it was such a strange day, sad but happy. My hubby and i have just begun to enjoy this preg, i'm 19 weeks this weekend but again as someone has said, there's not a minute that you don't think about what might have been which worries you for the forthcoming baby if that makes sense. I don't knicker check for blood as much now, lol. Honest to god it does send you nutty, i know easier said than done but worrying too much won't help you conceive and doesn't help baby etc and thats what i've tried to remember.

    It didn't take us long to get preg again so don't give up hope.

    Get all the support, love etc that you need and anything that you don't, just say. I found that i only wanted my hubby as it had happened to us so noone else would understand how we felt.

    Stay postive, it will happen, i've just started to feel slight movements xxx

Sign In or Register to comment.