Giving Birth...what is it like?

We are ttc but have just finshed my first proper period (i think?!) and it was absolutely horrible!!

I had the worst pains ever, was in absolute agony. Now am worried about the pain during labour, how am i going to be able to give borth if i cannot even cope with proper period pains???

people say it is really painful but can anyone mums tell em what its really like?


  • tanroe09tanroe09 Posts: 4,121
    Ah hunny, try not to worry about it too much. I'm not going to lie to you and say ah its easy and doesnt hurt- cos it does! BUt its soooo worth it at the end when you have your baby in your arms. x
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    i'm just dead scared wen i think about it, it must be so painful and there nothing you can do ha
  • Lolly84ukLolly84uk Posts: 2,219
    I won't lie to you, it does hurt, but you get a gorgeous little baby at the end of it - and there's always pain relief if you can't handle the pain. I wanted no pain relief at the start and ended up with an epidural....why put yourself through pain if you don't have to?? x
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    I will be avin owt i can wen i ave a child haha! But what does it actually feel like? And does the pain relief take it off altogether? is it unbearable pain?
  • I have two gorgeous little boys, 2 and 9 months. I'm very lucky cos DS1 took 5 1/2 hours and DS2 arrived in 57 mins! It does hurt and it feels like you're having a big poo! (sorry if thats crude but i can't think of a better way to describe it!) I only used gas and air for both and had no stiches or tears. I didn't want to have an epidural as it makes labour last a lot longer. Also I lay down first time and it was a lot harder to get the head out whereas second time i was on my knees and it was so much easier! Sorry if too crude and TMI! Just don't be put off by scare stories, it isn't always that bad! Sorry waffling now!
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    thanks max07. i really want a baby but when i think about how painful giving birth is going to be it scares the hell out of me
  • I think it's fear of the unknown that is so scary- you're told its "the worst pain ever" but you can't really imagine it. I know a lot of women that were so scared that the reality wasn't actually as bad as they thought. I ended up with a c section which was nowhere near as bad as I thought. You might have a really easy labour anyway, and as the other girls say, its worth it! x
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    oh dear, i guess there nto much i can do about it, will just ahve to deal with it when the time comes
  • tanroe09tanroe09 Posts: 4,121
    contractions, are kinda like really really bad period pains! I had an epidural with my son(1st baby), and it took the pain away completly- i couldnt feel a thing! BUt it slowed my labour right down and as a result ended up having to have an emergency csection!! my daughter was a very quick labour, but the pain was alot worst, i had gas and air, which took the edge off of the pain and gives you soemthing else to concentrate on! althought alot of people dont like this! I had complications trying to deliver her and ended up with a forceps deliver- which i had a spinal block for, so didnt actually feel her coming out!!! Its so hard to explain to you because all labours are sooooo different!!

  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    you see i am such a worrier and things like ahving complications scare me so much! i am going to be terrible
  • Ok hun, first off no birth is ever the same so asking someone to explain what it is like is a bit of a tough one to answer as everyone experiences things differently, for instance, I would say the contractions are totally different to period pains and it doesn't feel like having a poo, I have heard other women say this so there are different experiences. The poo sensation would come from the baby coming down the birth canal and pushing against your back passage.

    What I can say to you is PLEASE don't think you are alone, most women have this fear of birth, it is the unknown and you have no control over it. I was so scared too, I would terrify myself thinking about it but my midwife was fabulous and helped me get my thinking around it, once you get to the point where you feel you can't do anymore you have done it, that was certainly the case with me BUT everyone and every birth is different. The other thing that helped me was research into all the possibilities of what "could" happen, not a good idea for everyone but it helped me prepare for the worst. Needles scare me so epidural and c-section where the route I really did not want to take, and I was very lucky, when it starts I just went into a different place if that makes sense and you just get on with dealing with it as best you can, tens machine can help, warm baths, bouncing on a birth ball, allsorts. When I started to feel I didn't feel safe at coping at home I went into hospital and found to be half way through 5cms dialated, the next 5 where easier, I was again very lucky and the pool was available which is what I wanted, that and gas and air and without realising it I got through to full dialation thinking I couldn't do anymore, 55 mins later, JJ was born the most amazing thing ever. No one can describe that feeling, you have to experience it yourself but trust me, it is the most worth while thing ever. I am expecting my 2nd and I would actually rather have the 11hours labour over the weeks and weeks of sickness, I find that the hardest bit.

    Best of luck and try to remember, so many women go back to have more! So it can't be that bad even when some of the stories you may hear are terrible!

    NJ x
  • This is quite an encouraging thread, thank you. I'm crapping myself about the birth. Feels like the craziest thing I have ever let myself in for. Bring on all the pain relief; I shall be having every drug going!
  • That is my point exactly women are always so happy to tell there horror stories of child birth and people who have ok experiences dont seem to want to share. My second babys labour was absolutely fantastic waters broke at 0730 and baby born at 1142 and with both pregnancys the best thing I could do is not worry about labour till you are in labour thinking about pain you dont know about is only going to make you worry the whole way through pregnancy as everyone is different, no one can really tell you what its like your pain threshold could be completely different to alot of people! Honestly just think about the end result a beautiful baby and that way youll stop worrying x
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    Thanks NJ! That does actually make me feel better! I guess am just such a whuss really haha!
  • I am a total wuss to sweetie and I got through it, you'll be fine whatever happens chick, remember that.

    Rhubarb you cracked me up, but you will be fine too!

    Trust us mummies, the best thing ever!

    NJ x
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    thanks girls! feel a little better after reading your posts! guess only time will tell if its as bad as i think it will be!
  • I was upbeat throughout my whole pregnancy, and wasnt worried about giving birth specifically, as i knoew the inevitable!

    I may have been lucky but had quite an easy labour, apart from having to be hooked up to a monitor for high blood pressure!

  • daisylozdaisyloz Posts: 3,109 grandmother used to say that labour pains were the pains of 'hell' and to be fair she was right.....having said that I had 5 kids lol so there ya go...

    Grab as much pain relief as you can it'll be fine xx
  • HuniibumpHuniibump Posts: 3,913 New bride
    I was (still am) scared but I went on babyexpert and read through some of the girls stories, it has helped ease my stress LOADS, def recommend having a look xx
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    cheers huni, will ahve a look x
  • Everyone's birth experiences are different, like others have said - its impossible to compare.

    The one thing that is a fact, which I didn't appreciate before giving birth is that the discomfort comes in waves - its not the 8 hrs of agony with your feet in stirrups that's often portrayed in films.

    Try to disregard people who want to dump their negative experiences on you. I had two wonderful birth experiences (despite quite a nasty tear with one). Its a cliche, but if it were that bad, people wouldn't do it over and over again.

    LoL x
  • its painful and i have two child and both there births were so different 1st took 3 days 2nd took just under 2 hours but trust me once they are out it is the most amzing feeling in the world and you just forget all the other stuff xx
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    thanks again everyone, this is actually really helpful x
  • like pushin a melon through a polo mint hole lol. this is my 2nd one 9 years later will def be havinan epidural
  • In all honesty, It was not that bad, I may have been lucky but hold on to the fact yours could be just as easy!

    My daughter was my first baby, I was 2 weeks overdue, had to be induced and had her within 4 hours on just gas and air. The birth itsself did not hurt!!! It was the contractions before hand as they did not belive how quickly I progressed they refused to send me to the labour ward for gas and air until 1.5hours before I delivered!!

    I did not tear, got straight out of bed after to get the camera out, went for a shower and was home after 3.5hour of giving birth.

    I am ttc now and hope for a home birth this time, feel free to bombard with questions xxxx
  • kk87ukkk87uk Posts: 492
    My daughter was a week overdue and I got sent in to hospital with very high blood pressure.

    The hospital decided to induce me, they came and checked on me and the traces (of babies heart rate etc) and told me my little ones heart rate was dropping fast and that they had to break my waters there and then and start contractions for me.

    I didnt feel the individual contractions but had one big constant pain. I decided to go with gas and air as I really wanted to give birth without drugs but gas and air made me dizzy and feel sick, so in the end went for an epidural.My gorgeous daughter wa born 5 and a half hours after the contractions started and I even fell asleep for two hours inbetween times!! I didn't feel any pain during the labour as I had the epidural but you can still tell when you need to push etc (if that made sense)

    Once you have your gorgeous baby in your arms you forget all about it.

    I don't mean to scare you with my story, I was petrified when they told me about high blood pressure and little ones heart rate falling but i was the most amazing experience ever.

    I had to stay in hospital for two days after she was born as I had group B strepp and they had to monitor little one for blood poisioning.

    Even with all these scares though it was great and all the staff were amazing (as was h2b image )

    I can't wait for when we decide to try for a wee brother or sister for our daughter.

  • Hi duck bay, I was told I had GBS but they do not re-do the test on the nhs, so at 38 weeks I paid to have the test done privately (£36.00) and it came back negative so I didnt need intravnous antibiotics, they say that it can change throughout pregnancy and if you dont have it in the beginning you could have it at the end (if that makes sense)

    I thought I would tell you so when you have your next you can have the test done so you do not have to worry xx
  • i have done it a few times and can't wait to do it again. its the ultimate high. yes its a bit painful (feels a lot at the time but if it was that bad, i wouldn't have gone back for more.. trust me i'm a awhimp). the first one is usually the longest. my dd1 was 7 hrs established (although it was 24 hrs from start to finish cos i was induced) second dd was 1hr 28mins and my last one was about 4hrs. i highly reccomend yoga or something that helps you relax cos the stress makes it seem worse. while you are uncomfy, you gotta try and 'ride the wave' but its do-able and my last one was a homebirth so no chance of epi or pethidine and i loved every mnute of it. gas and air takes a bit of practice before you get how it works. a lot of ppl won't give it a chance cos it makes them feel sick (it did me the first time) but you can get over the sickness if you keep going with it. best of luck and if i could swap with you i would. that feeling at the end when you get to hold your baby is the most amazing and anytime you feel tired etc, just keep thining of that bundle you will hold in teh very near future. xxx
  • Meli4444Meli4444 Posts: 243
    what is b strepp?
  • GBS (Group B strepp) is some sort of infection which can cause menegitis in new borns so to stop it passing from mother to baby when giving birth they give mum a drip of intravenous (sp) antibiotics. BUT I was told Ihad it when I was 8 weeks and the GBS support group recommend being re-tested nearer when your due (about38-40 weeks) to see if you still have it as if you dont then the antibiotics they give you can be more harm than good to your new born and you have to stay in hospital longer, so I paid for the test as nhs will not re-test and it was negative so that was great as it did not complicate anything xx
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