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Need advice about our living situation please.

Just got married and we're are keen to get straight on and have a family. we currently live in a ground floor flat with neighbours above us. We hear them walking around and talking, so its not the most sound proof of flats.



I'm not even sure if our land lady would let us stay in the flat with a baby, but she is very nice so maybe.



I love our flat as we've got it all nice and its quite big. We are planning on buying a house in the next a couple of years.



So my question is how reasonable is it to have a baby in a flat, is it considered rude to the neighbours. I'm worried about a crying baby disturbing them and it causing a conflict (we don't really know them). I know there are other kids in the flats around but they seem to be older.



any advice or shared experience would be very helpful.



many thanks

Posts

  • AnnaNicole1AnnaNicole1 Posts: 2,435
    Hmm that is a toughie with the flat not being that sound proof. I suppose just cos they might hear the baby crying doesn't mean you can't have a baby, but its also the respect of not putting ur neighbours through the crying at all hours through the night especially if they work and get up early in the mornings. If ur wanting to buy a house in a couple of years could u not bring that forward?? xx
  • Monster84Monster84 Posts: 45
    I live in a flat, and really don't think it's an issue. I can hear all my neighbours. It's a house on one side and flats on the other. I'm first floor. The house i can't hear at all, but the neighbours in the upstairs flat next door have a baby and altough we hear it crying sometimes, it's never an issue. I think people are generally very understanding when it comes to babies and will give you a lot of allowance. Our bedrooms have sound proffing in the floor so are pretty much silent. Is this something you could consider doing?
  • racheybaby123racheybaby123 Posts: 572
    We live in a terraced house and can hear our neighbours still! We've been here 3 years and our next door neighbours one side have young children who we used to hear crying a LOT when we moved in as they were really quite small. Think noise is just one of those things to be honest. It's not like it's deliberate - babies cry. Our neighbours the other side have a teenage son (now moved out as he's all grown up!!) but we used to hear him practicing his electric guitar as much as the children the other side! image
  • We live in an apartment which we bought in September, so really don't want to move for a few years, but we know we want to start TTC after we get married in October.

    We don't have much noise here, we hardly hear anyone and we only have two people above us (we are on the ground floor) which is a girl on her own and a young couple at the top.

    To be honest, I don't really see the difference to living in a terraced house, we rented on once and it was much noisier.

    However, you get used to noise around you and I haven't got children so might be wrong, but I would presume they would get used to the noise too? And I'm sure people would be more considerate knowing you have a young baby, I know ours will be.
  • MrsKiraSRMrsKiraSR Posts: 1,424
    The other thing is to look at it the other way.

    If your neighbours could hear your baby, your baby will potentially hear your neighbours.



    I don't know how noisy your neighbours are, but be congniscent of the fact there will be times when you will be trying to get your baby to sleep, or keeping him/her asleep, and your neighbours decide to drill/vacuum/play loud music.



    Personally i think it is good for babies to get used to sleeping in noisy places, but i know some people struggle with this. If neighbours are making noise at reasonable times of day, its hard to ask them to stop, just because baby is sleeping..



    K x
  • ParqueroParquero Posts: 97
    thanks for all your replies thats very helpful.



    some answers to your queries

    the neighbours never really make unreasonable noise, they're quite good really, just a few late night parties but thats only very occasionally and it doesn't bother me.



    we would love to buy a house tomorrow, but we are tied down to the area we llive in for the next 2 years down to work, and its not near the area we want to buy, so best waiting until we can buy in the right area of the country.





    to be honest i think we are just gonna get on with it, and then when were expecting, put it to the land lady and ask her if we can stay and if not we'll move.



    thanks so much for your help.



    v x x x
  • AnnaNicole1AnnaNicole1 Posts: 2,435
    Would it not be best to ask the landlady first hun? Because dont take this the wrong way but u dont know how ur goin to be financially when ur expecting and could end up getting told to move out and being stuck on gettin money together? xxx
  • postscriptalexpostscriptalex Posts: 1,069
    Hi



    I don't really see why you should have to ask landlady first - and if you are worried about your living situation before having a baby there are many people in lot worse situations than you!



    Me and hubby to be live in a council house with two bedrooms and his mum is the renter - we have no choice to stay here as I don't want to work with a young baby and we can't afford to rent privately on just h2b's wage! We have been on the council waiting list for two years and god knows when we will get a place of our own, especially now the conservatives are in and are planning on cutting back council properties and turning them private!



    We hear our neighbours (on both sides) at all times of the day and night there are constant bangings on one side (where the man does diy at 2am) and on the other there are four children in one bedroom and they don't stop making noise - however that is our lot and we are happy with our little baby girl despite the situation.



    Unless you were homeless then I don;t think you can have a problem with this situation you are in - you are lucky that in a couple of years you will be buying your own place!



    xxx
  • phat_sue4phat_sue4 Posts: 178
    I am not it that situation but your plan sounds good to me. You will be ready to move and buy your houe when your chil will be needing a bit more space. Friends of mine have babies in one bed flats and cope just fine. I think its only a problem when they need their own room.

    Good luck with TTC x



    alex_peploe123 - why should you get a council house because you don't want to work?! That makes me mad.
  • agape42agape42 Posts: 73
    I lived beside a very disruptive neighbour for 3 years in a flat who kept me awake every night with parties - i bought some ear plugs and they did the trick. You have every right to have a baby - noise and all!! Its not like it will be crying all day all night (well hopefully not lol) If your set on having a baby, i say go for it!!
  • I'm in a terraced house and can hear everything my neighbours do, from brushing their teeth to watching tv lol! I don't think sound is a major issue, as afterall there's a huge population of people living in adjoining houses/flats. So long as there is enough room for your baby, I don't see a problem. xx
  • RhubarbulousRhubarbulous Posts: 1,989
    We live in a detached house with gardens front and back, but our baby is due in June, so the height of summer when everyone's windows will be open. It's a very quiet street, so the screaming is going to disturb the entire neighbourhood! It would make not a jot of difference if we were in a terraced house or basement flat. Noise carries. We hear the neighbour's son's pop music, they will hear our screaming offspring. The only way to be truly sure your neighbours will be spared noise would be to move to an isolated sheep farm in Wales or something - not an option for most people, lovely as that may be! Don't worry about it. Good luck TTCing.
  • gemmacaidengemmacaiden Posts: 237
    I live in semi detached and we can here our neighbours little one crying as am sure they can here our little one crying but its never been a problem image
  • cSarahukcSarahuk Posts: 111
    I don't think the landlady can legally evict you for having a baby. If you are good tenants and pay your rent on time I am sure she will just be happy for you and encourage you to stay. I think it would be more difficult for her finding a new tenant, showing people around, having a gap in income?



    Most flats are soundproofed in accordance with building regs- it they are new - a lot of older terraced/ semi's aren't. I wouldn't worry about it - enjoy yourselves image



    All the best

    Mx
  • Just a note - when we rented and were looking at places, some of them did say no children allowed, which you might not have noticed when you signed the contract. I would definitely double check first because if she had said this before you moved in, she has every right to evict you.
  • ParqueroParquero Posts: 97
    Hi thanks all so much for your advice. Have now found out I'm about 6 weeks pregnant! cant believe, current plan is to wait until 12 weeks and then tell land lady, who is very nice. Hopefully we can stay, if not we'll look for a rented house suitable for a family.



    Thanks again

  • RhubarbulousRhubarbulous Posts: 1,989
    Congratulations! Good luck with it all. x
  • Alfie222Alfie222 Posts: 276
    hi, i visit people at home after they've had their babies and ive been to several flats - there are a lot worse places to bring a baby home to (been to some of them as well!) I really don't think your landlady has a leg to stand on in asking you to leave for that reason.



    It all depends on what you can cope with as a couple and how organised you can be - tidying up and maximising space! I live in a small two bed semi but i don't think this is much different to a two bed flat - we plan to start a family soon. I do think in time you'll need to move, when the baby starts walking, youll want more space. But I dont think there's any reason to get worried about it at the moment. Your baby have love, nappies and milk - thats all he needs to start with! Huge congratulations, and know your rights with your landlady! x
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