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A question....

As a lot of you are mums i thought i would pick your brains for opinions!!

I haven't even sent out the invations for my wedding yet, but already my friend and his partner are picking out the outfit for their toddler. I wasn't planning on inviting their kid and now i'm worried i'm going to have to include the little girl on the invitation which means i will have to include everyone elese's children, when really i don't want kids there unless they are close feiends and family.

So, what do you guys think? is it rude not to include peoples children on invites, the same way it is to not include spuses/partners? and if i don't include my friends' kid, do you think they will just assume they can bring her? and would you be offended If i specifically said on the invite that i don't want children there?

I don't think i should have to really, it's pretty obvious who's names are on the invites isn't it?

Thanks for your time girls xxx


  • hi!

    we didn't have kids to our wedding (apart from a flowergirl....hubbys god-daughter....who has a brother who didn't come!!). we couldnt have children cos our venue was small, and inviting peoples children would have meant that there would be other people we couldn't invite. we explained this on the invite and everybody was fact all the parents were glad to have a day off!! i am due in 1 and a half weeks and i wouldnt be offended at all if we got invited to a no kids is your choice at the end of the day and i know i wouldnt want my crying child ruining anybody's like our friends, im sure it would be nice to have a day/night off!! if they are true friends they should understand.

    hope it all goes ok for you!

    charl x
  • aug2010brideaug2010bride Posts: 1,448
    hi i have 2 children and i love it if i dont need to take them...sounds horrible doesnt it.

    if the invite says kids can go then fine but if kids arent allowed then i dont take them.i enjoy the night alot better when i dont need to be running after my 5r yr old while h2b is having a drink "keeping an eye on the oldest a 10 yr old".

    i would have a chat with them and let them know your might find that they will jump at the chance to have a night away from the baby.
  • Nicki-JadeNicki-Jade Posts: 914
    Its your wedding you invite who you want to invite but I think if they have spoken to you about an outfit you should probably just explain to them nicely that you weren't actually planning on inviting children other than family, you might need to make that clear to them because if you say to them kids aren't invited and then they turn up without their child but there are others there, that will look bad and I would be offended if it was me.

    I agree it is nice to have the break and expecting a child to be well behaved for that lengthy time is a lot to ask but in some cases kids can be wonderful at weddings, its down to the individual and as I said, its your wedding and therefore your decision, just be nice and clear about it, then if they are still funny, really and truly its their problem. Our children are in most cases, are so very special to us so thats the only reason I say be nice about it as you can be, people can be sensitive when it comes to their kids for whatever reason.

    Best of luck

    NJ x
  • RhubarbulousRhubarbulous Posts: 1,989
    I would never assume my offspring was invited, and I wouldn't be at all offended if she wasn't. But a lot of people really get wound up about this. For our wedding, we had a quiet word with all our friends with kids, explaining that we would prefer to have an adults only wedding (the only exception being a four week old baby that couldn't be left). They were all fine about it. Unfortunately my hubby forgot to mention it to one old friend of his, and even though the invitation was addressed to just the couple, they turned up with three, yes, THREE children - two toddlers and a baby. Bit of a nightmare because I felt bad for those whose kids I actually know and like (including my bridesmaid's kid - my godson), who didn't have their kids with them, and suddenly there are these randoms there who I don't know from adam. Who we then had to find space for, and feed. I was pretty peed off about it, with them for assuming and with hubby for not speaking to them in advance and heading this off.

    My advice would be stick to your guns, don't invite kids if you don't want to, and make sure you speak to everyone affected in plenty of time.

    Bloomin' wedding politics eh?!

    Rhubarb x
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