Forum home You & Your Baby


Our baby is three months old.

Before she was born we might easily go six weeks without seeing our in laws.

Now they seem to want see us more often, which I'll admit irks me a little, but I do understand they want to see their grandaughter. Trouble is they seem to want me to organise it all the time.

They came around a couple of weeks ago (when baby was in bed) and on leaving MIL says to me "Maybe I can come around sometime in the week" and I know I gave a positive answer (cause I was impressed with myself).

She's not called me to arrange anything and yesterday she spoke to DH and according to him she said something about not having seen baby for a month and sounding a bit upset.

DH is v matter of fact about it. He doesn't say "We should invite them for dinner" or anything and they don't ask us round there. Surely they (DH or MIL) should be the ones talking and organising something. This isn't the 1950s (i.e. up to me to organise my husband's family as well as my own).

So why do I kinda feel like it's my fault? I think it's guilt that I desperately don't want them around here all the time, it makes me feel suffocated. Is it wrong to think if DH won't do anything about it I can't be bothered either?

Incidentally (and I know this makes the story sound worse) my parents see us often, but then they invite us there, we invite them there. It feels more balanced.


  • mrsleggomrsleggo Posts: 807
    Thats familys for you, my parents live in the next street to us and see our baby on a near daily basis, H2B's parents live about an hours drive from us and since baby came along (3 months ago) they have not once been to visit, not even when she was born. They expect us to travel to them so they can see her. It irks me that they don't make an effort, ok they didn't have a car for a while but there is trains and buses.

    Lets just hope they manage to get to our wedding in 2 weeks time.....eeeek!!!

    Dawn x
  • AnnaNicole1AnnaNicole1 Posts: 2,435
    Just say to her an be honest i havent stopped u coming round if u want to come round phone me an arrange it i haven't got the time quite frankly to arrange it myself every time, u know when u want to visit i dont. And ask ur hubby to say the same if she moans lol x
  • FairyluFairylu Posts: 79
    I know, life would be a lot more straightforward if we could only be honest, wouldn't it?!
  • NowDebbieRNowDebbieR Posts: 306
    Just to look at it from the other side, perhaps they don't want to be in the way. Obviously you know them and know if this is likely but my MIL is paranoid about being the steriotypical interferring MIL and so wont just pop round in case it is not a good time and we don't even have a child yet. Maybe they are aware that you will still be adjusting and may want time to yourselves

    The thing is, men are useless at things like this, the amount of coversations I have had with MIL about things we have done or plans we have made that she was totally unaware of becasue my husband doesn't ever think to share things with her! Also, it is a lot easier for the woman's parents to not have to worry about this because they know you will just tell them outright if you need some time to yourself which you might not do with your parents in law. Why don't you get your husband to ring them up and say you'd love to see them whenever they would like but could they give you a ring in advance when they plan it so you can make sure you are free and baby is awake? I totally agree you shouldn't HAVE to organise this but I think it is just one of those things we have to accept that our other halves are going to be useless at image
Sign In or Register to comment.