I'm soooo broody! :(



  • MrsSmileyjulyMrsSmileyjuly Posts: 1,818
    I got pregnant (accidentally and quite young!) at the start of my 2nd year at uni. I somehow managed (with the help of family and friends) to keep going and get my degree. Post grad definitely had to wait - applying for that this year now that my daughter is 7! But it's funny how you just get by. It might seem impossible but it's not. It's definitely hard work. But I'm happy being a young mum and knowing that soon enough I can have my career and I won't need to take maternity leave etc. It's good that you're thinking it through and being sensible though - unlike me!
  • deleted4deleted4 Posts: 1,248
  • i know exactly how you feel. i got married last year and have been with my husband for 12 years since we were 15. I've been broody for as long as I can remember, i am borderline obsessed with babies! we have both had drastic career changes in the last 2 years - 6 months ago i finally got my dream job as a graphic designer but im only junior at the moment image. we don't have loads of money, although im sure there are plenty of people in worse positions.. i really want to have a baby - i think we are just going to go for it - i guess there's never a perfect time. keep changing my mind though!!

    I think you should just do it- although i am a bit idealistic!
  • me too!!! im 28 and in the middle of a phd so have to wait with the whole baby thing. i have about 2 more years until i finish my degree so id like to come off the pill in a year to let my body regulate and then maybe 6 months before im due to finish, stop using condoms. if it doesnt happen by the time i graduate then we can start taking action to concieve, till then im happy to just let it do its own thing and see what happens.

    but its sooo frustrating to wait. good friends of ours also just announced theyre having a baby. it does make it harder. but at least there are people in the same boat as me image
  • deleted4deleted4 Posts: 1,248
  • This all sounds so familiar. I am so desperate for a baby and have been for some time. The feeling is compounded too by the fact I had some gynae problems recently and I'm scared that it will affect my fertility. It's just not a good time at the moment though. I'm a year away from qualifying as a nurse and then while I need time to settle into a job hubby has plans to do a degree. And everyone around me seems to be having babies, my best friend who's in a similar position is 28 weeks pregnant and I'm finding it really hard to be a good friend to her. It's soooooo hard.
  • mrssimon, that sounds like the story of my life. when i met my now husband i was in my second year at uni. when i finished, he started a degree and i worked. then when he graduated and got a job, i went back for an MA and after that straight into a phd. one of us is always a student. i always thought my career would be the most important thing to me and was always adamant that id do everything 100% and commit to my education. little did i know that 18 months ago somebody would flip a switch inside me and make me want babies NOW.

    my husbands best friend recently told him that his long-time girlfriend is pregnant. wasnt planned but theyre really happy. she started a degree only a year ago as well but theyre going to make it work somehow. it makes me think, hey i can do that too but logically i know its not ideal. a phd is such hard work and a baby would make it soooo much harder. and then i worry about not being able to conceive as quickly as wed hope when i finish my degree. ill be 30 when i graduate and ideally would like to be pregnant a few months before i finish.

    guess ill have to be patient and hope for the best...
  • Hey tt2b-married!

    My friend fell pregnant by accident in the 2nd year of her PhD and it all worked out fine for her! Not that I'm wanting to put ideas in your head!! image

    I don't know what type of research you're doing but ours was scientific and it meant if she wasn't in the lab, she could stay at home with baby, going through data/writing up etc, so cutting down on childcare costs!

    She got 6months maternity pay off her research council so just finished her PhD 6months later than me!

    I'm now in my 2nd postdoc position and we're trying for a baby, but I don't know how well it will go down with my bosses! I think they think women in research don't want children, so we'll wait and see!!!

    So I guess I'm trying to say the decision doesn't get any easier after you've finished your PhD!!!
  • thanx nowmrssouth! im doing english so i can easily work from home. im just afraid that itll be way to distracting with a baby around. i know its doable, many people do it, and im sure we could make it work as well, i just dont know if i want to make it harder for myself. i know 2 women who started phds and then had children and never finished. i dont want that to be me.

    i know what you mean about after finishing though. ive been concerned about that as well. i think if you want to stay at home (at least for a while or part-time) with your children, its always going to be difficult for your career.
  • btw good luck with the baby making!!
  • GeorgxGeorgx Posts: 118
    Im so glad it snt just me!!

    We've only been married 3 weeks but im desperate to have a baby with my husband image but hes being cruel to be kind.

    Neither of us have a job so income and we only have a one bedroom place but he wants one too I just dont know weather to wait till our situation improves or weather to go for it?

    Im only 18 so thats not a problem but the way jobs are going at the moment it looks impossible for one of us to get a job, I just dont know image

    We've even picked out names for babies and everything image

  • It feels so much better to talk about this with other people! Apart from my friend who's pregnant most of my friends are not really at the stage where they're thinking about it yet so they don't really understand how hard it is! It'll all work out for us in the end and we'll all be amazing mums!
  • yes, it does make it a little better to know others are in the same boat. none of my friends are in the baby place yet either (even the ones who is pregnant it was an accident, although a happy one). out of my closest mates, only one is married and hes not looking to have a baby any time soon as far as i know. the others are happily single. it sometimes makes me feel like a 'smug married' in a group of singletons lol.
  • deleted4deleted4 Posts: 1,248
  • yes! guilty secret!

    im kinda curious how my husband will react when our friends have their little one in feb. its one of my husbands best friends, a guy who is lovely but up to now has been pretty immature and irresponsible in many ways (partying all the time, wasting money on all sorts of useless random crap, bad temper and hissy fits etc). im absolutely certain they will both make great parents but i just wonder how my husband will react seeing his mate in this new role. im kinda hoping itll make him want a baby sooner than weve decided makes sense image

  • OMG been so desp for agesm just flipped a switch and im ready! so is h2b but we dont get married tiln aug next year then it will full steam ahead!!! We have only just become stable with money as h2b now a teacher and now have to save a lot so have to wait now, 11 months ahhhgh! h2b really wants to try now but really really not sensible! How are you all coping?
  • dont you just hate being sensible? lol

    im trying to distract myself with my phd, telling myseld its better if i get it done now before having babies. you can see how thats working out for me when im hanging around here all dayimage

  • Haha like me!! I'm on YAYW for my wedding next year but as more and kore for that is sorted and I'm pretty relaxed about the whole thing I keep thinking more about our honeymoon BD and hopefully baby making! I feel sorry for my wedding!! ahaha
  • I'm having a bit of a negative day today ladies hope you don't mind me venting! My friend who is pregnant (and knows how much I want to be a mum) has been whinging to me about how not fair it is that she can't go on her next placement because she'll be on maternity leave and how hard it is giving up her freedom and independance. I couldn't think of anything nice to say in reply so I ignored it but really I wanted to smack her or shake her and tell her not to be so ungrateful (I'm a little irrational and emotional at the moment cos I've started a new pill - sorry if that's tmi). I'm sure it's complicated emotionally when you're changing your life but I always try to be excited for her and go baby shopping with her and generally hide the overwhelming jealousy when I'm with her so I don't think expecting her to be a little tactful in return is too much to ask.

    Rant over! Apologies for the essay!
  • aaww mrssimon thats awful image im sure she didnt mean to hurt you, she just wasnt thinking. and it is def a big change to have a baby all of a sudden. would it help if you told her how you feel? maybe she was having a negative day as well? big hugs to you hun!

    i actually have something to share as well. it caught me TOTALLY off guard today and ive been sort of bouncing around all day because of it. this morning just before my husband left for work he casually mentions to me that i should maybe think of coming off the pill now and that we wouldnt be actively trying for a baby but wouldnt do anything to prevent it anymore. EEP!! we talked about this some weeks ago and i said id like to come off it next summer or so and then bout 9 months before im due to finish my phd wed stop using other protection (that would be about 18 months from now). he was happy with that idea although we both knew we would love to have a baby sooner. are we totally bonkers to consider this for now?? i mean i know its not ideal for my degree as such but on the other hand when i graduate it would mean starting my career which wouldnt be ideal either and we def dont want to wait till were 35 and my career is (hopefully) going well. i think id def want to hold off till feb as were going to south africa for 3 weeks then and the thought of morning sickniss (should it happen that quick for us which i know is not likely) on safari is a little offputting. ill be 29 in jan (its a bday trip for me), we have a very baby friendly flat, hubby earns good money, and we live in austria at the moment (im austrian) where i get 2 full years of paid maternity leave. plus my parents live close by so could help out with babysitting on weekends and stuff. if it werent for my degree wed have been trying months ago. and i want it so bad! although im terrified of the whole birth part, the changing body, the fear of what if somethings wrong with the baby etc. but ill always have those worries whenever we decide to try.

    so pleeeeaaaase ladies, say something wise and useful! i cant tell anybody cause theyll all be watching me like a hawk and will suspect im pregnant every time i pop to the pharmacy lol. xx
  • Thanks tt2b - married, feeling much calmer today! I've done a long day on the ward - always a good way to take your mind off personal stress!

    I know my friend didn't mean to upset me but the trouble is she can be thoughtless quite often and seriously I'm an errational hormone monster since I started on this pill.

    As to your news,I don't think there's ever a 'right' time to have a child and so if you're both happy with this decision then I wouldn't worry about the practicalities. There'll always be what ifs whenever you start to plan.
  • Hi

    Sorry gatecrashing as Im also sooo broody - but just be aware that ttcing or getting preggers when you are on malaria pills is a really bad idea. I didn't know this before so changed my whole honeymoon from south africa!
  • hi cornish_bride! no worries, i wont be taking any anti malaria meds in south africa. were going only to malaria free areas so it wont be necessary to take any.

    also i think ive decided to wait till when we get back anyways. im not keen on having morning sickness or anything while away and ive calculated it that if i take the pill till then ill literally take my last one 2 days before we come home. i figured whats a few more months? and itll give us some time to get round the idea that some time next year i could be pregnant. soooo excited!!!
  • deleted4deleted4 Posts: 1,248
  • yeah i think were decided were going to try from about mid-feb. every time i think about it i just cant believe it to be honest. i know it might still take a while to actually get pregnant but thats something we cant do much about anyways so just gotta wait and see.

    and i now have a few months to prepare. i know im due some vaccinations next year so ill just get them out of the way now and we have a lovely proper holiday coming up which i bet well enjoy cause itll prolly be the last one of its kind in a while image i feel like when we got engaged but even more so. you know its something thats gonna happen at some point but when you have that ring on your finger you can really start planning. thats how i feel. we always wanted kids but now theres like an actual in the near future time that it might happen and its time to start thinking and sort of getting ready - not buying crib getting ready but at least i can take some first few steps.

    i read up on pregnancy yesterday and it did freak me out a bit. morning sickness, bladder incontinence etc... not so fun, but i guess itll be worth it.
  • MrsS to beMrsS to be Posts: 2,633
    Hi Ladies!!!

    Can I join the club please??

    We're getting married 5/11/2010 and ive had it on the brain for AGES now!!! Ive had a few dodgy smears and am panicking i should now get a move on. I am 26, be 27 in Feb and H2b also wants babies - like NOW.. image

    I am also worried about money, I have a good job - but crap maternity benefits. H2b has a job but so far has been out of work for 4 weeks.. although he has a sideline which keeps us going, it doesnt work in the winter.. So i just don't know!!

    But people say there never is a best time and you'll never have enough money... image

    I bought some folic acid the other day.. and so far have managed to take 2.. i keep forgetting. Also we're not TTC just yet, I am on Norethistrone at the mo as my AF would have been during the wedding/honeymoon. So am 'moving' my cycle.

    So.. thats me.. other than that, i think we would have started TTC this month.. image

  • MrsTallulahbell - I did actually say that to my friend, which actually was what precipitated the rant from her!!

    Claire1284 - welcome to the club!! I think you're right there really is no best time to do it and whenever you chose there will be something. The only reason we're not saying what the hey and going ahead is that being a year away from qualifying as a nurse if we started trying now, it's likely that it wouldn't happen immediately and I might well end up pregnant when I'm qualifying and even though it shouldn't matter I'd worry about getting a job. So many people on the course who are just qualifying now are struggling to get anything even without being pregnant!
  • MrsS to beMrsS to be Posts: 2,633
    I agree Mrs Simon, I wouldnt if i was in the lead up to qualifying or something similar...

    It's scary stuff!!!! x
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