my manager has told people im pregnant

hi i just wanted to a bit of advise from you girls (sorry a bit long)

im nearly 6 weeks pregnant so not far gone, and i was off sick from work for a few days, when i got back i told my manager IN CONFIDENCE that i was pregnant and not to tell anyone as early days,

now i get married this friday, and have had this week of work and yesterday my closest work fried phoned me up saying she heard i was pregnant,

so i asked her where the hell did she hear that from, and she said another girl we work with, and that my manager has told another manager who then has told the girl with the biggest mouth i know, who has then told my friend.

i am now dreading how many other people know cos if everyone tells 1 person, then everyone will know by the time i get back from honeymoon,

now the real question is what can i do about my manager, cos she has broken confidently, if i tell my hr dept about it, will they be able to do anything, i know it cant stop ppl finding out, but im soooo annoyed that she has told ppl aaaahhhhhhhh xx


  • sorry can't offer any advice but I really think you should do something about your manager as that is out of order, plus it maked you think what other things your manager may have bee ntellingother people when they should have.

    Sorry you have to deal with this as I can imagine you have enough on with the wedding so soon.

    Congrats on the baby and good luck with the wedding.

    hope you get this sorted soon xx
  • Amandas28Amandas28 Posts: 738
    I would speak to hr she shouldnt have said anything! that is so bad!

    Try not to stress out about it now deal with it when you get back just enjoy your wedding and honeymoon! x
  • VRowdingVRowding Posts: 149
    You poor thing, that is so unfair!

    I looked into this this before telling my Manager as i wanted to know whether it was confidential. It states in some of our policies that it is definately confidential and any breach will be dealt with accordingly so i felt safe to spill. I would definately speak to your HR dept. It is so common for people not to say anything until their first scan, so your Manager had no right to tell anyone. Sounds like a rubbish Manager to me!

    Hope you get it sorted and make sure you stick up for yourself hun.

  • mrsgLmrsgL Posts: 682
    i would speak first with your manager then i would contact hr or someone higher. she has breached confidentally, if also she has told another manager who was told other staff, she too is breaking confidental information.

    good luck and congratulations xx
  • I would defo speak to your HR and put in a complaint. i have told my Manager who in turn has told the HR Manager as I needed a Risk assesment but thats it. Who was the other manager that they spoke with, is it just bad luck that this was the HR Manager and the Blabber Mouth is their Assistant or something in which case i'd really be going after the blabber mouth direct as its still in confidence at that stage and she woudl have been aware.
  • hi girls

    thanks for your replies,

    the other manager she told was one of her friends who is in the same department as us, and the person that she told who is the big mouth was her sister, so no one in the hr department and no one who needs to know, now some of my work friends know, who i would of liked to have told myself!!!

    should i speak to my manager first or speak to the HR department

    thankyou xx

  • NowDebbieRNowDebbieR Posts: 306
    Personally I would go straight to HR about it - not give her a chance to wriggle out of it. It is technically medical information about you not to mention like you said, your news to tell!

    I have 2 bosses and I only told one of them for exactly the same reason, because I know if I had told the other one it would have been passed on to at least 2 people in my team. It's sad you can't trust your own boss image
  • This really depends on how much you like your boss. If you consider her to be a friend then you're probably better speaking to her about this yourself, she'll most likely apologise and that'll be it finished. However, if she is simply 'your boss' and nothing more, then go straight to hr. What she gas done is awful, she could be sacked for it.

    Keep us posted, I'm interested to hear how this ends, being 'a boss' myself! (I would never tell anyone personal info tho!!)!

    Also, more importantly, congrats on the pregnancy and hope you are feeling better!!xx
  • Wow, sounds like I wrote this!

    My boss announced a week ago that her daughter has slap cheek. I have been reading a magazine the night before about 'slap cheek' and how dangerous it is for pregnant women. There is a high chance of miscarriage. My manager was on the phone and mentioned 'I have to keep XX away from pregnant woment'. I panicked a little and spoke to my husband and decided it would be best if we told her (in confidence) so that I could move to another desk. She could have picked it up from her daughter. Fortunatley she went on holidays the following day.

    She speaks to the doctor and he suspects her daughter does not have slap cheek.

    Anway...I come back from lunch and she drags me into the office to tell me that she has just told the head of our department and now needs to tell the head of our team.

    I was furious but didn't have a chance to speak to her as she was in meetings all afternoon and then went on holidays. I really felt like she put a dampner on things.

    When my team manager pulled me into my office to congratulate me, I told her how disrespectful my manager had been.

    I don't think my news has quite spread like yours, but what your manager did was completley unnacceptable. I would perhaps speak to your boss on your return and tell her your feelings. Tell her you are not actually pregnant and put her in the uncomfortable position where she needs to tell everyone! You can then spread the good news in 8 weeks time!

    You can speak to HR and put in an informal grievance. You can request that they don't do anything about it, but it will just be on her record in case anything backfires.

  • poppet12poppet12 Posts: 357
    I work in HR - if you have told your manager not to tell anyone they should respect that. It is your news to tell people and not anyone else.

    Raise a grievance so it is logged and tell them you will decide after your wedding what you want them to do with it. I would also tell your manager that they have left you no option but to raise it with HR and have yet to decide whether a formal action should be taken. Express your disappointment and stress the fact you did not want to go public so early. Tell your manager they have breach their trust and confidence and have put you in a difficult and stressful situation esp as you want to be calm and relax at the early stages of your pregnancy.

    Hope this helps but you have every right to raise a formal grievance if that is the route you want to go to.

    Good luck!
  • mubeemubee Posts: 1,039
    Yes, I agree, I work in HR too. Raise a grievance, whereby you state your issue in writing. HR should hold a investigating meeting with your Manager, and if it was me, I would give your manager a first warning.
  • ziggywigsziggywigs Posts: 1,435
    As a manager myself i am shocked that your manager has decided to share this without your consent. It is up to you to when and how you share this news. Your manager needs to know should anything come up as mentioned earlier around possible infections but should not disclose this to other employees. If there are others that she needs to inform due to possible risks then this should have been stated to you.

    The same applies to illnesses a manager should not disclose why you are off sick.

    I would definitely discuss with HR re your options and if you wish it to be dealt with formally or informally.
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