getting baby cravings ...anyone have any advice for my situation ?

i am 29 and have only been married three months but we've been together for 12 years.



My husband has ok paid job ok I'll be honest..not ashamed he works really hard and brings home £1200 he didn't go to collage or uni so has ware house job.



I am a primary teacher but after three years out fo uni I still haven't got a perm position. In fact I was in school off and on with contracts but now am back on supply. and I work part time in shop. I do wish I had done better in my career but for couple of months now I ve been getting baby cravings .



i always knew wanted kids and husband says yes he does too. But when will be the right time ? We live in two bedroom flat not ideal for a baby but not sure when we'll be able to sell this place and buy house. ( we do have a small mortgage now )



i don't wana leave it to late as would liek two or three children but we're just never gona be well off unless I get full time teaching job. But ideally I wana part time . I wana be around to bring up my children myslef.





I have thought about career in child minding.



i am waiting couple of months again until I come off pill, been on it for 15 years so doctors really want mwe to stop taking it and change. So I may just come off it after xmas and see what happens.





But can we look after a baby with our wages ??? and two bed room flat ???

I am not snob I quite hapily take second hand car seats and push chairs and clothes . i just don't leave it tol late . guess could try and keep urges away for few more months but it could take a long time to get pregnant anyways ..we wouldn't be keeping eye on charts and things just eaving it to fate ..if I can have them at all anyways .





i duno tho my friend says if I had full time job I wouldn't be craving baby ..she reckons it's cause my career is on stop .



why did you all want kids ? How diod you knwo it was right time ?





what shoudl I do ?? such big decision image

Posts

  • Hi Mrs Daisy



    I am 31, pregnant for the 1st time, due in a week. I am a primary school teacher, but my husband in unemployed and can't claim jobseekers allowance as he has been claiming for 6 months. We live in a small 2 bedroom house. Hubby is going to stay off work to bring up little one when I go back after mat leave. We'll struggle, but will survive. We'll have to cut back ( a lot! ), but it'll be worth it. We won't be able to move to a bigger house for the foreseeable future or take foreign holidays, but we will have a beautiful little baby to enrich our lives!



    Good luck with making your decision. x
  • Debbie_85Debbie_85 Posts: 571
    hi mrsdaisy,



    I think in a nutshell, there's never an ideal time. There will always be something that will crop up, some bill that needs paid or something in the house that needs reapired. If people were to sit and add up how much it costs to 'run' a baby each month, nobody would ever have kids. My partner and i have just moved into our first home 6 weeks ago. We're both police officers so not too bad but not well off by any manner. We added up how much the bills would be and stuff and looking at everything we thought we'd never afford it, but people kept telling us "you just manage and make do" and i'm so glad we listened to them because they were right. I think if it's the right time for you and your partner, then go for it! You'll get there and you'll manage and you'll have a gorgeous wee bundle too!!!



    Good luck whatever you decide to do.



    xx
  • theres never an ideal time and as long as your finaces will stretch (often you wont know until you try) i say go for it. you cant put your life on hold until you get to that magical 'right' time because it doesnt exist. my parents had a lot less than us when they had me and they managed fine.
  • We were in exactly the same situation as you image Been married 10 months, hubby a warehouseman, me a teacher. I decided I wanted to move abroad despite the face we were mortgaged to the hilt and had a beautiful home.



    Anyway, 3 months later we are living in South Korea I have a great job in a school here where my hubby doesn't have to work plenty of time for study e.t.c. We have just decided that we are going to come off the pill and 'see what happens' we'll get through it life is good and we
  • MrsfromwalesMrsfromwales Posts: 1,726
    same advice as above really - no right time as such.

    We aren't in the ideal situation to have a baby either. Yes were married and have a 3 bed house and we dont really want for much, but we owe money for the house £150k to be exact! and we don't really have any 'spare' money or no savings.

    But, for us, we are so ready emotionally and it got to the point for us that we just didn't want to be any older before it happened for us.

    It may be a little different for us too, as we were 99% sure we would have problems conceiving, so we knew we'd have a bit of a wait anyway. (which unfortunately has turned out to be true)

    As long as you and your hubby are prepared for it emotionally, I'd say theres not much stopping you!

    Good luck whatever you decide!
  • mrsleggomrsleggo Posts: 807
    I have just returned to work today from my maternity leave, have to say we don't earn a great deal between us but we have managed over the last 6 months. We also got married 3 months after having baby and with that expense we have still coped.



    There is never a right time.....I am also 38 this week so I left it late to have a baby in the first place



    Dawn x
  • Thanks guys we've been picturing it alot and we've had 11 great years with just teh two of us and had soem fantastci holidays . But def gona give it couple more months thought then if still very sure think will just come off pill and leave it to fate . afterall I think myself ..everyoen 's different and depend on yrou bills but while our mortgage is small and we still paying back a loan . Think i would rather be at home as much as possible with baby . everytime I am doing something now am thinking ok so how woud thsi be if still had baby and woudl I be ok with it . We don't really care about going out that much anymore ..only for special occasions and parties and meals or quiet drinks . Think fun we want now is days and walks out with family. Tho know push chauirs not totally great for walking around country side gues while they lil tho yo can carry them and then when they walk you 'd just ahve to tajke it easy. But we love camping ..that's do able with family and we can still go abroad as child places free in some packages lol .



    I def keep looking twice everytime I see baby now so strange ..never thought I 'd see the day. Not usre if woudl liek to celebrate first anniversary baby free but then what differnce does it really make ......only scary thing is having teenager or son/daughter in twenties....how can we keep up with cost of blackberries and i phones ?? but that's a long way off.





    hope all that made sense ..lots going thr my mind image
  • MrsfromwalesMrsfromwales Posts: 1,726
    Ha ha your post made me chuckle.

    I think you definitely have the right attitude.

    Picturing your life with a baby is a good plan.

    Me and hubby have always said that when we have a little one, we want them to be involved in our lives as much as possible, so we will still bring them everywhere with us - we dont have any sort of social life and we dont go out and neither of us drink so its not like we'd be taking a baby anywhere inappropriate!

    Just things like going for walks in country parks, going shopping, going out for meals, going to friends houses. The sort of things we do in our spare time.

    The idea of this is to get baby used to being around people, and being able to feel settled in an everyday environment.

    Planning ahead a bit but oh well!
  • np your doing same tho I do like going out and having a drink but def more for the outdoors and m teacher so my kids would have to have wellies and rain coats as no such thing as bad weather lol



    just trying to really picture it myself no so scary taking plunge . Was due to take pill yesterday haven't taken it yet !!! hubby says up to me but that's not what wana hear .Tho he has talked about it too just think it is such big thing. well for some people others jump right in
  • There is never the right time and I don't want to put a downer on you but just wanted to say that I felt really broody when my work was all rubbish - basically I was self-employed and work just dried up when the recession hit so I was stuck at home trying to find work. Ended up doing part time in a bookshop and then a couple of months in sainsburys. All through this I felt really really broody but knew that it wouldn't be practical to have a baby as there was really no way that I could pay my financial commitments if I wasn't working and SMP wouldn't have been enough for me to survive on. As it is my H2B is currently paying our mortgage and a fair chunk of our bills too. I have since found a contract position local to me, which I really enjoy. And so far...the broodiness is gone! I am still broody every now and then and more so with our wedding coming up next year. I am 28 and don't want to leave it too long either as you never know what might happen but as everyone says on here, there is never a right time. My sister is pregnant with her second child and she will have to give up work as she is currently a nanny and they won't let her take her baby to work with her. Even so, she is looking at registering as a child minder and will make do. I'm sorry this is a bit of an essay but I think the time to have a baby is when you and your hubby decide the time is right...almost regardless of financial/job/life situation. It's when you both feel that it's the right time...although no one can tell you when that is! Good luck with everything and I'm sure whatever you decide to do it will all work out. xx
  • hi mrs daisy

    i just wanted to say that i think everyone thinking about babymaking worry about how they will manage,and like everyone else said theres never a perfect time but somehow people manage on what they earn!

    i just thought as you were wondering about child minding,maybe you could do a course(?) while you are pregnant and then do official childminding rather than going back teaching.im sure that parents would LOVE to have their child minded by a teacher(responsible etc!).

    best of luck with everything.xx
  • EmmaPieukEmmaPieuk Posts: 452
    I would just like to reiterate what everyone else has said really! My mum has always said to me that if you ever think you are properly ready to have a baby in every way, it is probably too late! I am currently pregnant and naturally worry about money etc but everyone I know who has kids says you just manage! Let nature takes it's course Hun and enjoy it!
  • Thanks guys . I ve stopped taking pill wel only five days ago but still big step . Really nervous about the whole pregnancy idea but we really want a family so I just hope I'll be ok with is am such a wuss ..type girl who crosses her legs when you hear other women going on about it lol. I still feel have so much more to do but my sis in law has done a 4 year degree with her two gorgoues daughters in the scene so life is not over just going to be very different ..in good way ..wel hopefully ..we'll se what happens...scary and exciting x
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