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  • Magicmarlin I am so utterly devastated for you. I had a natural miscarriage two years ago and I know how devastating it is. It feels like your heart has been ripped out. I won't lie and say I was ok after a few months, because I wasn't. I cried for a year before I could deal with it.

    The only advice I can give is to allow yourself the time you need to grieve. I made the mistake of trying to keep how I was feeling inside, because you need to do whatever you need to do to help heal yourself, whether that's talking, not talking, lashing out or just crying. Take time off work and just look after yourself.


  • Hi Laura

    I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sounds as though you're doing the right thing though, by taking some time off work and trying to relax. Have you got somebody who can come round and be there for you whilst your hubby's at work, if you feel as though you need some company? I don't think there is anything anyone can say that will make a different to how you feel, except maybe not to expect too much of yourself and to give yourself plenty of time to come to terms with what's happened. Just read your earlier post again and would like to say please don't feel as though you have let anyone down... you haven't, these things are beyond our control... it's very cruel, but Mother Nature usually has a reason for it and it's certainly nothing that you did wrong.

    I've been guilty of being too obsessed about ttc too... I think if we're honest pretty much everyone on here would say that. It's a great site, but certainly adds a little pressure if you spend too much time on here.

    Lots of love to you and I do hope to see you back on here in the future. Take care Laura and all the best xx
  • Oh Laura, my heart hurts for you. I had a natural miscarriage at 10wks years ago and like you say, unless it has happened to you it's hard to explain how it feels.

    There was nothing you did or didn't do that caused this - you mustn't blame yourself or feel like you've let anyone down. I know its easier said than done though. I wish I took my own advice at the time. But as Daisy said, you just have to do what is right for you and don't hold on to things. I didn't tell my husband how I was feeling some of the time and it just made things worse. Even 3 years after, I remember one evening just crying and eventually telling him how I felt about it all and thinking, why didn't I do this sooner?

    You have such a supportive family. Lean on them and let them look after you. Remember, its NOT your fault.

    Sending you so very many hugs

  • Laura,

    Im so sorry to hear your bad news. It's heart breaking.

    My thoughts are with you and your husband.
  • thanks ladies, still feeling pretty crap, just can't understand why it has happened to us I know its pretty common but that doesnt help how I am feeling at all. I just feel so angry now and my appointment card came through for my 12 week scan which would have been on the 17th so that had made it worse plus today my exemption NHS card came through and I just cried.

    We wanted a baby so much and it just hurts Im not pregnant I dont know how I'll feel better

  • Dear Laura,

    I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read your news - I can't imagine how it feels but please do not blame yourself and do not keep your feelings bottled up.

    My thoughts are with you and your family,

  • Hello All,

    Just wondered how everyone is?

  • Hey Victoria,

    How's you chick?

    I'm still feeling crap, although, and I don't want to jinx it, I haven't felt quite so sick today. I still feel sick but I've actually been able to make it without retching today so good times! Haha. I'm hoping this may herald the start of me coming out of the, 'I feel like I may die of nausea' phase. Fingers crossed.

    I still haven't got my scan date through and I'm starting to worry now that it will be when hubby's in Chile on business. If that's the case, I may have to book one privately before he goes as I dont' want him to miss it!

    There seems to be so much to do and so much stress at the moment and I just don't want to have to deal with any of it. I'm so tired. We're trying to move house which is turning out to be a big ordeal - even though we're only renting. Trying to leave it all to hubby but finding it difficult not to worry about stuff like that!

    Still very excited though. Can't believe I'm at the 10wk mark as of tomorrow. Last wk seems to have gone quicker than the ones before it. (Which dragged!)

    How's everyone else doing?

  • Hey,

    I'm firmly in the i think i might die stage - having been sick about 5 times a day for the last week or so! I wish I was at the 10 week stage being only 7 it seems like ages away!

    Moving house?! the thought of that frightens me, we moved just before I fell pregnant and that was stresful enough, I'm planning our wedding, what was once a big affair now is somewhat smaller and very close (we marry in May!). I want to marry before the baby arrives so have decided that everything is out the window and we are having a much smaller day!

    I hope everyone is well - or at least as well as can be expected! image
  • Hi all

    So sorry to hear the news about Laura image Hope you're doing as well as can be expected if you're still reading lovely xx

    Maybe it's a symptom of people settling into pregnancy that this thread has slowed down somewhat? I'm getting into the mindset of this being a long journey and certain other things (like my dissertation) needing more of my attention at the moment... Still hard not to focus on being pg though. 10wks on Friday!! Can't believe it, and now the nausea is settling down it's getting harder to believe there's actually a baby in there image

    We told all close family at the weekend; as we've had an early scan we thought not a lot of point waiting til the 12wk one, and if anything did happen we'd need support from family anyway. I also told my two closest friends on my course - but I'll be the fourth pregnant woman out of 12 when I make it public knowledge! Something in the water...?image

    Two weeks on Friday til the 12wk scan and part of me thinks it's getting closer, but the other part thinks it's still ages away. God knows how I'll cope with the other end of this journey - the wait for it to be born! Speaking of which, I've 'encouraged' my hubby to watch OBEM - I told him he needs to familiarise himself with it all. this week he turned to me and said "you'll have a nice quick labour won't you? you won't scream will you?" imageimage I told him it's up to the baby!

    I was wondering if people feel happy sharing whether they're going for the NT scan? OH had said he wanted to know the risk, but now we've discussed it again we're just not sure... image

    Hope you're all feeling well - hopefully the 'blooming' stage is just round the corner for us all! image

  • I wish I had my scan date and had abating nausea - after my initial glee at thinking maybe it was taming down, I have had no actual improvement! RUBBISH!

    Does anyone else have REALLY awful back pain? Part of it could be my pre existing medical condition but my back was never the worst of my joints - hips and shoulders were always worst but I'm really struggling with it.

    Glad you're feeling a bit better now Misty. With regard to NT testing, I don't think we're bothering. Hubby's uncle has downs and I think even if they told us bab had downs, we wouldn't change our mind about having it, so what's the point? I did consider it on spina bifida issue but when I spoke to midwife she said that this would usually be picked up in the 20wk scan anyway? So I personally don't think we will. But everyone is different and its a very personal choice. Hope it's not too difficult deciding.

    Keep hanging in there Victoria - I know weeks 7 - 9 seemed to take forever for me. I've never felt time drag as much as the last 2 months! This last week seemed to go quicker though. It still seems ages to the 12wk mark though.

    I'm also meant to be going on a hen do a week on saturday and as my morning sickness is worst at night between 6pm and 1am (and I'm getting up every few hours to wee! Stupid massive womb - never realised the weeing all the time started so early, I thought it only happened when baby was pressing on your bladder - not your growing uterus!) I just don't fancy the staying over part. It's in an apartment with one bathroom to four ppl. If others are crazily drunk and vomiting - I will definitely vomit, and probably have nowhere to pee. So I think I will have to tell her that while I'll come to the main section of the day, I'll get picked up at 10.30pm to go home to my own bed and bathroom!

    Of course that means I have to tell her I'm pg tho too....

    Hope everyone had a good day today

  • It's so reassuring to know I'm not alone! No back ache for me at all but the worst sickness and constipation EVER! LOL

    It's all soooo exciting image
  • ms34ms34 Posts: 37
    hi all - havent been on for a while for one reason or another - so sorry to hear about Laura and am def sending her big hug over the airwaves.

    so at 10+5 weeks now (the dates keep changing mind you) and my scan date has come through for 21st feb. We are going for the NT testing at the scan - i have to say it is sending me into a kind of panic but i would rather know than not.... i think because i am 35 the doc said it would be a good idea - in fact i stupidly thought that it was the norm .. as in they tested you anyway,,,,, still nevermind..

    i am excited for the scan but also apprehensive.. i kind of wish this next week and a half would just wizz past. still feeling sick but no backache..... perhaps if you are being sick a lot it is from that? have to say the work toilets are thankfully quite nice. i had to text my manager the other day (who i have now told - she said she knew anyway) to bring me up a glass of water.. not my finest moment as a shakey hand poked out of the semi closed toilet door!!!!! image

    oh dear re the hen night - i think you will have to go home - can you make an excuse about something? needing to be somewhere early the next day? all you need is to share one toilet with your drunken hens!!!!! i know how many times i get up each night and its no fun!!!!

    Can i just ask also - is anyone feeling the most ridiculous tiredness creep over them by about 4/5pm... i can be in bed by 9 which for me is so early!!!!

    hope everyone is doing well and here's to the 12 weeks passing by happily and healthily x x x x
  • Hi everyone,

    I always catch up with everyones progress on this thread but it also scares the living daylights out of me cause I don't and haven't felt anything that all you ladies have. I don't feel nauseous or sick, I've no boob soreness, I don't pee more than normal. Nothing. I will be 9 weeks Friday. We are going for a scan on Saturday because I just can't relax and am scared something Is going to go wrong again. I've been on the verge of tears all day.

    Only thing I have is achey joints in my right leg and I get tired but then I don't sleep well. I'm scares to have the scan but at the same time want it over and done with.

    Does anyone else ever get crampy type stretchy feelings still?? Not all the time, just sometimes? It's hard to know what is and isn't normal.

    I wish I could just relax and enjoy it all but I really cant image

  • Hi ladies,

    Can someone tell me what is NT testing?

  • Hi Daisy,

    Good luck with the scan - I hope everything goes well for you.

    MS34 yep im the same knacker by 7 in bed for 8:30 - 9 ish. Hubbie to be and I used to get into bed at the same time every night now he is lucky to get a conversation!
  • Hi Daisy,

    Good luck with the scan - I hope everything goes well for you.

    MS34 yep im the same knacker by 7 in bed for 8:30 - 9 ish. Hubbie to be and I used to get into bed at the same time every night now he is lucky to get a conversation!
  • Hey girlies,

    Hope you are all still well and the morning sickness for those of you suffering is easing!

    mattsmrs2B - as far as my understanding is, a NT scan is part of a preliminary screening test to assess the risk of your child having downs syndrome. It may be combined with a blood test as well. In the scan, they seem to measure the thickness of the skin at the back of the baby's neck and combining this with some other factors, they will determine whether you are deemed at low risk or high risk. There are no risks to having this test - I think it is just down to personal choice. If you are deemed to be high risk, I believe that you are then offered further tests. My husband and I have elected to have this NT scan done as well as a blood test.

    I can't believe that I'm 10 weeks today - its so exciting and slightly scary at times. I still have to wait for 3 weeks until my scan - roll on 3rd March!! I had my more indepth booking appointment last week but still felt that the midwife was nto really interested in explaining things to me and did not ask or explain some of the stuff that should apparently have been covered according to the information she gave me. I also wish that she had picked up on my wish to have the pregnancy confirmed as although I have had 2 positive CB digital tests I would have loved a medical professional to confirm it. MY nausea seems to come and go throughout the week and apart from my boobs definitely getting bigger and being exhausted I have not really had any other symptoms. Has any one else had their pregnancy confirmed apart from at a scan?

    I've been off work for the past 3 days courtesy of a nasty chest infection - I went to the doctors on Wednesday and have been on antibiotics and steroids since - according to the doctor they are all safe to take at this stage of the pregnancy - it's still daunting though. Thankfully I've started to feel better today and have managed to eat proper meals, which is a relieve as my darling hubbie has planned a weekend away as a belated birthday celebration this weekend and I really did not want to cancel it.

    Anyway, in my true style I seem to have rambled on. Hope you are all well and looking forward to having relaxing weekends!

    Becky x
  • Hey Becky - I haven't had my pregnancy confirmed medically. I just did a couple of tests at home. It's VERY rare now that they do confirm it as home tests are so reliable. When they took your blood tests, they probably test then but won't bother getting back to you to say 'Hey you're pregnant' because in their eyes you already know! Because you're seeing a midwife so why wouldn't you?

    I know that's not how we think, but you have to remember they see hundreds of us!

    Sorry you've been feeling so poorly - that's rotten when you've already got nausea! Glad you're feeling a bit better now.

    Daisy - hope your scan goes well tomorrow, I'm sure it will and I'll be thinking of you. You can be symptomless and still very healthily pregnant so try not to worry.

    I have had my scan date come through now for the 23rd Feb! YAY. I'll be 12+1 if the preliminary dates are right so I'm very pleased I'm getting in then. I was starting to panic that they weren't going to bother scanning me as it was getting a bit late in the day to be alerted!

  • Hi ladies,

    Well, had the scan this morning and it did not go well. The pregnancy had stopped developing, so after 4 years trying, and two miscarriages, i am back to square one. Life is so crap.

    I wish you all well with your pregnancies and hope you go on to have happy and healthy babies.

    Take care.

  • Oh Daisy I am so so sorry love. I know nothing anyone can say will make you feel any better right now. But I just want you to know that people are thinking of you and sending you love and hugs.

  • Daisy,

    I am so so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • So sorry to hear this Daisy image

    Let others look after you and we'll all be thinking of you xx
  • ms34ms34 Posts: 37
    so sorry daisy,i'm thinking of you and your family. big kisses x
  • Hi all,

    How're we doing today? Happy valentines! Hopefully our last ones without kids!

    It may sound odd, and a little early, but I am sure I'm starting to show a bit today. I thickened at the waist earlier on in the pregnancy but its starting to move into a discernable bump shape... I was never thin, its just like my flab has reconfigured. Heehee. I've actually lost weight since concieving though! Only a slight bump, but nonetheless, I think its there. So does hubby.

    My Mum said that she showed from 2 months onwards so maybe its genetic. I did think I was too fat to show so early though! Haha - I'm sure that's what it is and its not just chicken or sweeties!

    Hope everyone having a lovely v day

  • Hi Girls,

    Hope you're all well, my scan date has come through for March 9th! image

    Is anyone else a bit down in the dumps? I know I have everything I want but can't shake this at the moment. Not sure if after all the terrible news recently from Diasy and Magic Merlin but I am terrified that something will happen when I go for my scan.

  • rt3110rt3110 Posts: 118

    I feel the same I am mostly positive but scan is on monday and am starting to get very nervous I dont come on here as much now since Magic Merlins MC and now Daisy too my thoughts are with them both.

    I'm 12 weeks today and working from home this morning before I go to the midwife for booking in (which seems rather late, but what do i know!)

    Anyway cant wait till monday just want to know either way, am so attached to this little thing already!

    Sweetjouk- I was a size 12 before i started size 10 on top havent really got a bump, but some days I'm so bloated I look 6 months! even someone at work pointed it out the other day! cant put my finger on what it is that does it but I def get bigger throughout the day!! My size 10 winter coat has popped all its buttons!! so will have to sew them on a bit closer at the moment i just feel fat!!

  • got my scan tommorrow but im so scared becaue last time i found out our baby had stopped growing so please keep your fingers crossed for me! hope all your pregnancies are going well the only good thing is everything seems different this time round im gettin morning sickness( well all day sickness lol) im really sorry daisy for your loss take care xxxxxxxx
  • ms34ms34 Posts: 37
    hi all i have been offline for a few days but back now. such sad news i have seen since back..

    Mattsmrs - i know how you feel i have my scan on monday and i know its silly but i am feeling more and more anxious as the hours are going on - thankfully its at 9am on monday but i am sooo nervous.... i am trying not to think about it but its hard - i keep imagining i am feeling things - a twinge her and have become obsessed with checking each time i go to the loo TMI i know) not sure what i am looking for but hey ho.....

    roll on monday please...... so nervous i cannot find time to be excited yet and that cannot be right as this is what i have wanted for soo long!!!!

    sorry for moaning xxxx
  • Im glad im not the only one!

    Just can't wait for the 9th of March! Ive been naughty and bought 2 baby grows, I was only to wait but after seeing a healthy normal scan a few weeks ago Ive decided i will be positive!!
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