How to stop being an overreactive worrier!

Hi all



My husband and I have only started to try and conceive this month (after finally getting Af after being on cerazette). But one thing you moust understand about me is that I worry about everything (OCD to be honest). So before I've even started I am panicking that I am infertile and have been looking up every possible problem I may have. I know that when I get my next AF I'm going to be thinking 'that's it it's because I'm infertile'. Then if I do miraculously get pregnant I will be worrying that I will lose it and then if I have it I will worry about what's happened in the recent eastenders plot and the list goes on. I am soooo ridiculous but can't help it. When I hear people who have got pregnant after one time (by the way how can you tell unless you only BD once a month?) I think I'm sort of failure. Then to top it all of I, of course, worry that I am worrying too much which will have a detrimental effect on the whole process.



Please someone slap me out of this!

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Joobs

Posts

  • JHyamsJHyams Posts: 1,848
    I know its hard, but relax!



    The more stressed you are, the less likely it is that it will happen anyway.



    The best way to conceive successfully, is not to think about, not to talk about, and to have sex loads... Enjoy!!!
  • That sounds quite normal to me Joobs! I am exactly the same. I hate that it is out of my control and that we wont know until we start trying! I wish you could just order them in!



    Do try and stay calm though, as JHyams said, it is more likely to happen if you're relaxed.



    Hopefully I'll be able to take my own advice come June when we start ttc.



    Good luck xx
  • Joobs09Joobs09 Posts: 214
    I think that is exactly it - I can't control it! I am a mega control freak (all teachers are aren't they?) image

    I controlled our wedding, getting our house, money, etc. But this is completely up to nature.



    Trying really hard to relax.



    Thanks,

    Joobs
  • Joobs

    Fellow teacher here image who is exactly the same as you!! I worry about infertility, miscarriage and potential cot death. I worry about things that are so far in this hypothetical future it is ridiculous.



    My mum and sister in law (who I whine to a lot) keep telling me if I don't relax it won't happen but how are you supposed to stop worrying about something you are worried about and that your entire life revolves around? That's like not being upset when your dog dies or not being happy when you win the lotto.



    I am supposed to be on an outdoors/ active residential visit soon with autistic (and some potentially aggressive) children and that's worrying me too. My latest fret is "What if I am so early pregnant when we go that I don't even know I am pregnant yet? I will end up losing it." I was hoping for a BFP this month so I could have a valid reason to not go- wondering if maybe you are pregnant isn't really a good reason! Oh well I am sure in a few weeks I will have a new worry
  • sweetjouksweetjouk Posts: 792
    I worried about everything and was taking my temp every morning etc. Then in Dec I was poorly, work was manic and the hubby works stupid hours in the run up to christmas, so I thought, no point in all this this month. We'll start again in January when all the stress and madness is over.

    And lo and behold, that was the month we got pregnant. I definately think that the less you think about it the better. (although as a natural worrier myself, I know this is difficult) So if you're busy at work - allow that to take over for a while - you may be amazed by the result!



    And once you are pregnant, yes you do worry, but do you know, I don't worry about half of the little things I used to! It's quite liberating as well giving up all control of everything to nature and the hubby (I can't cook or do anything as I feel so ill!) I think once I'm past first trimester and start feeling better, I may want more control back. But I thought I'd hate having to let go on stuff and give up control, but strangely enjoying it.



    I have made the concsious decision to be positive - I know that the first trimester is always shakey (we miscarried at 10wks before) but thought, if it's going to happen, its going to happen. nothing that I do now is going to change that - the most I can do is be healthy and try and relax as being all wound up puts me at higher risk than anything else! And it seems to be working. Don't get me wrong, I still have my odd panic moments but I'm much better than I thought I'd be.



    Given my typical worrying, and my recurring anxiety problems, I thought I'd be a nightmare. But I'm not that bad at all.

    Give it time and you may surprise yourself.



    xxx
  • Joobs09Joobs09 Posts: 214
    i'm not doing all the temperature checking or ovulation checks (even though I bought the kits) but I am BDing every other day (sorry TMI) and taking folic acid. I don't mind not falling straight away but just want to know that we can. I hate not knowing. Have had really bad IBS this weekend so really have to try and calm down as I'm sure its all down to this worrying. Good luck to everyone, whatever position you're in.



    Joobs

  • Just had a chuckle to myself as I'm a teacher too!

    xx
  • NowMrsMNowMrsM Posts: 536
    Joobs... welcome to the worrying world of pregnancy/TTC!



    I'm not a big worrier usually but have been worrying since before we TTC (what if we can't...?) all the way through to the 12 week scan, then the 20 week scan... then the what if it's premature and now have passed due date and am worried about being induced! image



    It's such a big thing it's so natural to worry about every little thing.. One thing I've found has really helped me is talking to hubby and close friends about the worries I had.. the more that you hold things in to themselves the worse they get....



    And try not to google everything- you'll just scare yourself silly about things- find an info site that you like and is trustworthy (I personally found the information on the UK Baby Centre really useful) and read this info first if you have a concern...



    Good luck TTC! image
  • MiaLeaceyMiaLeacey Posts: 1,184
    I wish I knew Joobs. But I am EXACTLY the same!!!

    Is it a teacher thing? image

    Still, it helps to know I'm not alone xxx
  • Joobs09Joobs09 Posts: 214
    so this my new routine worrying:

    Morning - fairly calm but baby baby baby on the mind

    Lunch - What if it takes forever, probably not pregnant, what is that pain in my stomach, am i ovulating ( always been irregular!)

    After school - Oh my God what if I am pregnant, are we ready, financially stable, will people be happy for us?

    Evening - What if it never happens? What fertility problem could I have?

    It's only when the kids are in class I have no time to think about it so I am actually looking forwards to class time rather than home time.



    Ridunkalous is what I am. image
  • Thank you so much for putting this post on I thought I was the only one with everything that you have said running through my head!!

    Althoguh not a teacher definatly a born worrier and even down to the residential I was reading and saying yes to everything that you said although I'm not taking autistic children I'm taking hyperactive brownies on an outward bound long weekend

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