miscarriage at six weeks

Hi just need some help. Found out we had a miscarriage last week. Bleeding has now stopped and everyone seems to have forgotten about the baby. Im not coping at all and miss the baby that really never was. What do you do? Don't feel like a proper woman at all.

Posts

  • dee2ukdee2uk Posts: 635 New bride
    Aw hun,im so sorry for your loss..and it is exactly that.. a loss. yes the external bleeding may have stopped but the bleeding of your emotions will still be very raw, are you getting support from your partner?. x
  • MrsKIrwinMrsKIrwin Posts: 400
    He literally sweeps it under the carpet because at the scan there was nothing there but I expected a heart beat. He says there's no point talking about it as there's nothing there. I really am not dealing with this
  • SteampunkbrideSteampunkbride Posts: 1,748
    Your doctor should be able to reccomend a support network for you or counselling, so please go and see your gp.

    I'm sorry for your loss and it was a loss.

    Please try not to torture yourself with imagining what the baby would have been like and don't mark the date you would have been due on your calender. It will be there in your mind, but it won't help.



    On a positive note, one of my friends miscarried at 6 weeks also but within 3 months had conceived again and gave birth to her baby a few weeks ago.



    Don't blame your self. Your chances of miscarriage were either 0% or 100%. There is no 50/50. You either lose the baby, or you don't. There was a reason nature stopped this, nothing you did or could have done would have caused it or stopped it.



    Grieve, give yourself time. Men grieve in different ways, you carried this little being for a short while, for your partner it probably wasn't quite as real (for men it becomes real usually at the scan, the bump moving or not until the birth), so please don't be too hard on him and expect him to cry with you, he'll deal with it in a different way.



    But there is support out there, ask your doctor to help.
  • Hi,



    I am so sorry to hear about your loss and send big hugs to you.



    I know exactly how you feel after having my second miscarriage in the last 6 months 2 weeks ago. I should have been 10 weeks but had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong, went for the scan and the baby had died at 8 weeks 4 days. We had seen a really strong heart beat on 2 previous scans so didn't think it would happen.



    Men do find it hard to understand how we feel, still having the hormones flying around after a miscarriage. They also find it hard to feel that its real in the early stages as the last post says.



    I am up and down at the moment, some days I am positive and think things happen for a reason and other days (such as yesterday)I am an emotional wreck. One thing I can say is it does get easier over time.



    Can you talk to a friend about how you are feeling? Or explain to your husband how hard you are finding things?



    Miscarriages do happen for a reason and it just means that something wasn't right, unfortunately this is natures way of dealing with it.



    It does take time to deal with the emotions and if you ever want to talk to someone in the same situation feel free to PM me. People don't understand how hard it is unless they have experienced it themselves .



    Big hugs xx
  • I have no better advice to give you, than what the other ladies have already said but I didn't want to read and run.



    I'm so sorry for your loss, and come on here and blurt it all out whenever you need to.



    I agree with the other ladies, that men do deal differently BUT they should still acknowledge how we feel. It's often the same thing when we want a baby - it takes them a while to get their head around the idea. Men are very visual, and I think generally they are more practical and less emotional. That's not to say either is right or wrong, but I think that's just how we are. Can you sit down and talk with hubby?



    Keep talking on here, as much as you need to and if you need someone to talk to PM me. Hugs xx
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    Hiya hon

    So sorry you feeling like this and hubby won't talk to you about it. I had a scare this week and I can see how it is so upsetting, even at a few weeks pregnant you do start thinking ahead to the whole of your pregnancy, baby etc. It is natural as we are the ones with the physical feelings, it is so much harder for the men as they don't have all the symptoms.



    At the EPU the other day they did offer a councelling service, did they not offer you anything? If not then do go and see your GP or is there something through work you can access?



    Hugs
  • MrsKIrwinMrsKIrwin Posts: 400
    Thanks everyone. I think yesterday was one of those bad days. The epu still haven't told me I had a mc. They were rubbish. Don't get me wrong they saw me straight away but they didn't listen. They said oh ya fine everythings normal but I knew it wasn't. Anyway nothing has been offered and I think its because it was so early. I can still hear the scan lady saying there's nothing there. That was at the first scan. It was horrible. Got work on Mon just not sure if I can face it. Don't think I can manage responsibility, I'm a teacher with 30 5+6 yr olds. Who knows! I just seem to plod along at the mo.
  • sunsetskysunsetsky Posts: 669
    I am thinking about you, hope you are ok.



    I think you should maybe consider talking to your GP about speaking to a counsellor to help you and your partner through this. He may be bottling up his emotions and doesn't want to talk about his feelings in case he upsets you as he understands how upset you are. It is mainly women who get all the sympathy and support at times like this, men feel as though they have no right to be upset.



    I hope you are ok



    xxx
  • MagentadazeMagentadaze Posts: 968
    I know it's hard but you really are best trying not to dwell on it. Men have no idea how to deal with these things and how gut renching it is. But try not to resent him. A lot of men would be the same. Miscarriages are very common at that stage are especially if it's a first pregnancy. I'm sure you will get pregnant again very quickly.
  • m0nkeym00m0nkeym00 Posts: 841
    Sorry to hear of your loss.



    I know exactly how you feel. I miscarried in march and tbh im still not over it. Men dont really understand. I dont really know why but I feel a huge loss. I was 7 weeks gone.



    I still have my down days, esp when AF arrives, But it does get better. Just try and focus on the future and be positive. Dont feel silly for feeling upset about it. Your hormones will still be all over the place and your body needs to settle too.



    lots of love xxx
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