age gap between children

Hi everyone

just wondering what age gap people have between there children and peoples opinions are on what age gap they think are best.

I have a 7month old and me and hubby have always wanted 2 children close together. We are thinking of starting ttc in september and if it takes about the same time to concieve as last time (i know this might not be the case and may take longer) our lo will be a minimum of 18months by the time i givr birth again.

I know it will be hard work having 2 so close together and do worry how i will cope but i know how lovely it will be aswell when they get older.

Although me and hubby are excited about starting to ttc again alot of people are very shocked that we are planning so soon. Some are saying that we need to enjoy our lo before having another one but i don't know why having another child will stop us enjoying her!

I just wondered if anyone else has had children very close together and how u coped with it. Also did u get any negativity from other people for having a small age gap.

Also worried about how work will cope if i went on maternity leave within a year of going back! but i know i shouldn't worry about it until it happens!

Sorry for the long post!

Posts

  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    Hiya

    I know a few people that have gone back to work already pregnant from Mat Leave. My cousin has two children 18 months apart and for the most it is a lovely mix, but the problems are the eldest not understanding they can't try and pick up their baby sister, getting jealous occasionally of either parent with the baby and also trying to climb in the car seat with the baby. And the sleeplessness is two fold. I know a lot of people with a two year gap and that works really well
  • shellbob73shellbob73 Posts: 3,152
    I'm pregnant with our second and our daughter will be 18 months when he's born.



    I don't have the work problem because I got made redundant whilst on maternity (towards the end, just when I got pregnant).



    Most people have been shocked but we've had no negative comments, other than how tired we'll be, but you're going to get that anyway!



    This one came as a bit of a surprise, but as we wanted 2 it hasn't bothered us, and besides, I'm going to be 33 this year so we would probably have been trying for a second by the end of the year anyway.



    In fact most people have said how lovely it'll be to have 2 close together in age. I'd say go for it.
  • mimimoominmimimoomin Posts: 291
    there is 2 years between my oldest and her brother and then 18 months bet ween him and his brother and then there will be 5 and a half years between him and the baby we are ttc now image
  • MrsmcsweeneyMrsmcsweeney Posts: 852
    Hi,

    We have a little one who is 2years 8months and by the time our next baby is born he will be three and 3months. To be honest we didn't want to leave it any longer for three reasons.

    The first being that we think our little one would love the company of having a little bro or sis around (not immediately but within a few years).

    The second is that I have a sis who is 8 years older than me and I think we would have been closer had the age gap between us been smaller- hubby has 4 years difference between his eldest bro, 2 years between his older bro and two years between him and his younger bro and all four of them are so close.

    Thirdly and most importantly (and probably selfishly!!) hubby and myself are 31 now, we know how hard the first few years are and we know we were beginning to settle back into having time to ourselves etc again now- we both think that before we get back to being set in our ways, if we are going to do it again, we want to do it now and get the hardest part over with again (until the teenage years!!!)

    Its entirely a personal choice though! image
  • SteampunkbrideSteampunkbride Posts: 1,748
    Our son will be 16 months at our December wedding (and I'll be 35) so we'll be ttc either just before the wedding or immediately after image . we'd like to have no.2 on the way next year. I've no idea how long it will take to conceive (does anyone?) as our son was unplanned. I'd try sooner, but, selfishly, I'd like to fit into my dress. image
  • Amandas28Amandas28 Posts: 738
    The gap between my 2 are 2 years and 2 months. they fight but overall get on well. It is hard work but definitely worth it image
  • MrsMac-FMrsMac-F Posts: 959
    I am going to have a massve gap between my children (when I finally get pregnant image ) my son is 7 and 4 months now, so evn if I fell pregnant now, he would be 8 before the baby arrived. In an ideal world I wouldn't have such a big gap, but my first husband left me and my son when he was 2 and 3/4's (I had no intenton of having another baby with him image ).



    The thought of such a big age gap does worry me sometimes, in a way I think I must be mad to want to go back to changing nappies etc just as my son is starting to get more independant, but that is just the way thing have worked out.
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    My husbands sisters are 11 and 9 years older than him and all are really close. He did say from the age of 9 to 18 at home it was a bit like being an only child as they were at uni. I sometimes don't think age means that children will or won't be close but more the relationship they will build so you will be fine calicopink
  • waited82waited82 Posts: 399
    Thanks for everyones replies. Me and hubby have decided to just go for it and start ttc again next month! very excited but wlso a bit worried about how i'll cope with a 1 year old and being pregnant/having a newborn, but i guess you just learn to cope!

    Back to ttc again and the waiting game! the first part is fun but the waiting month is horrible!
  • Clarabel1983Clarabel1983 Posts: 194
    My sis had 2 within a year of eachother (!) she coped fine and said it was actually easier, as she hadn't got back into the swing of work etc before she was on maternity again.
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