Separation Anxiety

I think we are going through a series case of separation anxiety in the house at the moment.

For months now we have had a lovely bedtime routine - as my husband gets home from work he gives DD her tea, a bath, I feed her (bf) and then he takes her up to bed. She was ill a couple of weeks ago and I don't know if it's connected but the past week she is fine with hubby until I pass her over to take her to bed and she goes HYSTERICAL.She won't even sit on the sofa with him with me next to her.

Husband is a teacher and even though we both know that it's just a phase they go through he has convinced himself it's because he has had 6 weeks off with her and now has gone back to work and she doesn't trust him anymore.

I don't know whether it's because she's teething, remembering being poorly or just separation anxiety but it's heartbreaking and I don't know how to handle it. Do we try and keep with daddy putting her to bed or should I just do it to save her getting upset (and hubby)? And how long does this phase usually last? Any tips would be appreciated!


  • Seperation Anxiety can last for years so you need to tackle this now, try both of you taking her to bed and both settling her. Then start changing the routine slightly so that you leave the bedroom before your hubby, and leave him to have a few minutes with her by herself, gradually she'll then get used to him being teh last person she sees at night and you can remove yourself from the routine.
  • from the above it seems like it could be the 'going to bed' part that she's having problems with, rather than 'daddy taking up to bed'?
  • Quoted:
    from the above it seems like it could be the 'going to bed' part that she's having problems with, rather than 'daddy taking up to bed'?

    I did wonder if it's bedtime rather than daddy but she's ok if I take her up.
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    Is she still ok with him with bath time? I would persevere otherwise you may have an occasion soon where if you want to go out then hubby won't be able to put her to bed.
  • My little girl had a thing a while back where men she has seen regularly all through her life (grandad on hubbys side and my hubbys brother) made her scream when she saw them and she would visibly shake. They couldn't go within 3 feet of her or she would cling to me screaming and shaking. This happened for a few months and then it just stopped as fast as it started. My little girl is 17 months old.

    Dawn x
  • Yeah she is still fine with him for playtime, tea and bath - it's just bed! He has always been the one to put her to bed so it's weird that she won't let him now.

    My niece did a similar thing and it lasted until 10 months and then she snapped out of it. We will keep trying but she gets so hysterical there is no way she is going to get to sleep...
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    Maybe try every other day, then at least she isn't hysterical each day and keep hubby going with the bath etc every dsy
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