TTC and vaginismus

I am writing as a new member as I have made some good friends on this forum and dont want to reveal my identity.



Anyway I have been married for just over 6 months now and we have been TTC since then.



I guess I just need to get some emotional stuff off my chest.

I appologise if its TMI.



I suffer from vaginismus-uncontrollable contractions in the vagina which can be sex painful. I developed it after a previous relationship where my ex partner tried to force himself on top of me-he was never sucessful though.



I have had therapy which was good however Im feeling SO depressed about this at the moment.

-Im late 20s and have never had a smear test-Ive tried but cant relax enough for it to happen

-I feel so less of a woman as think it may be impacting upon TTC. To sum it up I dont feel like I have full penetrative sex.

My husband says his penis does go in and he gets upset when I question it-I can feel the tip slightly but dont think it goes all in.

I feel ashamed to admit it but if there is some spem left on him or me then I put it in my vagina in a hope that the spem will swim up!



I deep down know im very unlikely to be able to concieve naturally but I so badly want children.



I know the next step is to make an appointment at the Drs but its one of those where you have to ring up in the morning and its a nightmare really to get any type of appointment.



I feel so alone, I really want to tell my closest friends but am so ashamed and dont know what they will think/how they will react.



Sorry again if its too much information-just need to get it off my chest

xxx

Posts

  • o sweetie this must be awful for you. i know doctors are horrible and you can never get an appointment when you want it. but i think the best thing is to have a chat with dr. would you be more comfortable if your husband went with you. then you can discuss the full problem together



    also maybe you should consider a bit more therapy? seems to me that your not over what your ex tried to do. you need to feel relaxed and comfortable if your ttc. any stress is not going to help.
  • HL2010HL2010 Posts: 195
    Oh hun, you don't need to be embarrased! My mums a nurse and she says this is a really common problem. Make time to go to the doctors, at least you can get some sort of action plan. Sounds really strange but apparently botox works really well down there!! And i agree with everything pandahands said about therapy.



    Really hope things work out for you! xx
  • agree with pandahands that you might need more therapy,also defo try your doctors because they will hopefully refer you to a specialist who has dealt with these problems before,i HATE going for a smear and was due one in april and am still building up the courage to go (very naughty i know),i always ask them to use a small speculum (spelling??) as its not as uncomfortable.

    good luck and i hope you get everything sorted.
  • Hi, I wanted to PM you but if you log on as another user you might not see it.

    I just wanted to say have faith in your body and the strength of the mind, because that's where this is. You just have to make a positive sex attitude stronger than the one that's controlling you.

    I speak from experience of many years of self torment, I am a mum to a little boy, born last year. It can happen and it will happen, stay strong image x
  • lincolnsmum you naughty girl go to the drs have have your smear test done. i know there a bit uncomfortable and embarressing but they are really important. imagine me pointing my finger at you and telling you off
  • Keep positive hun, im sure it will happen.

    U hear about the pull out method not being protection, and surely if only a bit of sperm goes in then there is still a chanxe of conception
  • Hun, you are not alone, this happens to many women for a variety of reasons. Through work I have met some wonderful ladies who suffer from vulvaldynia which is similar to vaginismusin that it makes penetrative sex impossible. They have created a support group which I am sure would be the best place to find support and information. The link is below. Good luck with the TTC if it helps I have come across women who have managed to successfully conceive and deliver naturally with this condition.



    http://sites.google.com/site/londonvpsg/home
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