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Waiting to Try

Hi guys,

Ive been a lurker on here for some time, and will probably continue to lurk!! but wondered if there were any other people waiting to try for one reason or another?

We are waiting until I have been at my new job until I qualify for their enhanced maternity package to start trying (also want to save a little bit of money too) which means we will be ttc in September/October time.

Anyone else waiting? thought we could maybe all moan together about how slowly time is passing and give each other tips on what we can be doing to help our chances when our time comes along...

Would love to hear i'm not the only one planning this far in advance... so broody!!!


  • HazzzerrHazzzerr Posts: 323
    Hi LBJB, we started in jan but have put it on hold for the wedding at the end of september.

    Our plan was to try (VEERY optimistically) and get it in before the wedding (or be due not long before our wedding) so it wouldn't have to be put back too much. But if we kept trying now, the wedding would end up happening in 2013, and we don't want that. so we have painfully put it on hold til end of June, so at the most I'll be 3 months gone by the wedding and hopefully still fit in my dress. But I'm not majorly worried about catching in that time, because in all honestly, i'm expecting difficulty in TTC due to certain investigations that have taken place recently image

    Which is why it's harder to actively not try

    good luck in the wait xxx
  • BrummieWifeBrummieWife Posts: 385
    Yeah I am too, will prob be sept/oct. We've got a holiday booked for sept (where we went for our honeymoon so could be a 'second honeymoon' baby lol) and I'm also waiting for a possible promotion with a restructure in the next couple of months. It's killing me, I'm so broody and have been for ages image

    I'm trying to focus on other things, one being to lose some weight. I'm also trying to pay off some debts before the end of the year and redecorating. I'm obviously not doing a great job distracting myself as I find myself gravitating to this forum on a near daily basis- I've learnt loads from the threads on here though to help prepare. It's become a bit of a guilty pleasure looking on here- if my friends and family knew how broody I am they would be harassing us even more than they already do about when we're gonna start a family.

    Have you got anythings you're trying to tick off, or distract yourself with, before ttc?
  • LBJBLBJB Posts: 219
    Yey... its not just me!

    I've started a new job so thats a distraction in itself, other than that I'm trying to lose a stone in weight and read threads on here!! ha ha... like you said its a guilty pleasure a the moment. I have had to rein my moaning in a little though as Husband was beginning to feel like I was taking the wait out on him. He wants kids as much as I do, but he wants us to be in the best place possible financially.
  • Now Mrs RNow Mrs R Posts: 473
    I'm waiting, although a lot longer than most people, it's likely to be two years before we start trying! We need to finish decorating and renovating our house (still need a new bathroom), we'd like a new car as ours is very old and will no doubt break down forever one day soon. We never had a honeymoon so would like a special holiday and I would like to have some savings too! If I won the lottery this would be a whole lot easier!!

    I lurk on here all the time, like Brummiewife I've learnt lots from reading the threads on here. I guess I'm just trying to enjoy the excitement and anticipation of trying rather than wishing my life away (which I was almost doing).
  • My name is Caterpillar85 and I'm a serial lurker image

    There was a thread on here a few weeks ago for people who are waiting to try and are very you're definitely not alone!!

    We're waiting as I don't think my husband is quite ready yet, and we're hoping to go on a skiing holiday in a few weeks (waiting for a late deal to crop up!) My husband's said he'll never be able to say he's 'ready' because he thinks it'll always scare the bejeezus out of him image bless.

    I came off the pill a few months ago and bought some folic acid (I read that it can be good to take it even up to 12 months before!) but when I showed him the folic acid his face was a picture of 'oh my god-she wants to start now'. He said he looked that way because he knew I'd be watching what he did....but I'm not convinced.

    It's hard because no matter how broody I am, I don't want to force it upon him. Why can't he just be ready whenever I am??? image
  • LBJBLBJB Posts: 219
    That's so true...

    My hubbie is clearly broody he oohs and ahhhs at little babies and children, I just wish he was as irresponsible as me!! ha ha ha... why does he want to be all grown up and sensible and wait until we have money!

    If he turned to me tomorrow and said, "stuff the extra money, lets just struggle... " I might actually panic!! ha ha.. as much as I go on and on about it, I feel exactly the same, its just him that says it out loud...

    When we said that we would plan to ttc in October 2012, it seemed ages away as it was early 2011, now we are in March 2012 and its only 7 months away!!
  • Mine is kind of the opposite and wants to spend loads of money on holidays before babies!! But considering we've been to 11 countries in 5 years, we're not doing too badly. We have even got a 2 week summer holiday booked too!!

    How old are you? I'm 27 next month so if we tried in about 3 months I'd be at least 28 and yet I've had quite a few 'you're so young', 'enjoy being together' lectures from people I've not even asked an opinion from!! It's so patronising!!!!
  • CCisMarriedCCisMarried Posts: 331
    i am a serial lurker to.

    i'm 25 and currently not sure when we can start TTC!! my company has a smp which is crap, considering the other half of the company has 6 months at 90% pay and 3 months at half pay!!!

    we are currently paying for the wedding and the need to start saving for a baby after that. We will need at least £20k to cover all our bills and rent for when I am off. I earn double what my h2b and i want a year off so we will need that much just to get by and pay or bills.

    its really frustrating as h2b and i are really broody... we are also don't own our own place so we will be renting when we have children to.. unless we win the lottery!!
  • HazzzerrHazzzerr Posts: 323
    Blimey caterpillar85, you get 'you're so young' at 27? (and please don't take that the wrong way! I only mean it in the sense of me wanting to have had about 2 kids by that age!!)

    I'm only 19 and h2b is 21, although we'll be 20 and 22 by the time of the wedding and when we start trying again properly in a few months. I've had a few 'enjoy being married just the two of you' type thing so far but we don't really voice our broodiness, mainly cuz we know we're part of a rare breed who always wanted kids despite our age so don't bother shocking people, not worth the drama!
  • I know- I haven't even told anyone of my broodiness!!! I don't feel too young, even the doctor said it to me though. She said 'You're so young, they're hard work you know' No way? Kids, hard work? I hadn't even thought about that! image Yet my friend who is 30 was told by her doctor to get a move on as she's not getting any younger. You can't really win, unless you have children in the 'doctor approved' age range, which I'm guessing is 29-30?

    To be honest I know that at 20 I felt too young and looking back I was definitely too young, but I don't like that some people feel the need to tell you when you should feel ready. Raaaah- rant over image
  • LBJBLBJB Posts: 219
    I've just turned 30, so I guess time is ticking for me. among my friendship group and extended group of friends and colleagues, 32 seems to be about average... but still being at the age I am I am aware that I will be nearly 31 by the time we start trying and if we are lucky we will have a baby by the time im 32... husband is younger than me by 2 1/2 years (got me a toy boy) but know he would love to have a child by the time he is 30.

    Its so easy to spend time worrying about the ifs and buts... i regularly sit thinking "well if we catch in the first 3 months, ill have the baby by this time, but if it takes us a year we could be looking at a 2014 baby... which seems ages away" I just need to stop wishing my life away... very difficult.

    Someone said to me that if counting down months seems too long, to do it in cycles... which I think helps mentally if you have along wait.. I know I have 7 cycles left until we ttc.... doesnt sound too long at all.
  • BrummieWifeBrummieWife Posts: 385
    Gosh that does make it sound closer counting in cycles image

    I'm 27 so I would be at least 28 when we have our first- if we're lucky to catch straight away. We've had a couple of comments about being young and there not being any rush, you can't win either way! It's odd because I always thought I'd have had my first by 24 but the years have just flew by and I suppose me and hb have had 7 years of fun experiences that wouldn't have been as easy with a little one in tow... I'm ready to do the family thing now though.

    Has anyone else already decided what their yet-to-be-attempted-to-be-conceived-baby's name will be, room will look like, make of pram etc...? Or have I taken my obsession to a whole new level? image
  • HazzzerrHazzzerr Posts: 323
    Brummie have NO idea! I already have a huuge bag of baby clothes (enough to last the 1st year of the child's life) that I've been collecting since I was about 14, I also have a lovely changing bag and various other bits and bobs image
  • shellbob73shellbob73 Posts: 3,152
    Girls, can I just say that where the money thing is concerned, you'll be surprised at how you get by.

    Before I had my daughter in May 2010, me & my husband were both in full time employment, then I dropped to SMP. We both worried about how we'd manage but we did. Then in Feb 2011, just as I should have been returning to work, I got made redundant & I also fell pregnant again (not planned this time!). I couldn't look for another job so I made my redundancy money stretch as far as I could & apart from £10 a week Child Tax Credit & £20 per week Child Benefit I had nothing else coming in.

    For 1 year now we've basically been living off my husbands wage, which is OK, but not great (not even national average). We have been able to pay the mortgage, utility bills, loan & credit cards. We've not had to skimp on food or heating, we've been able to run our car. Things have been tight, but I don't feel as though we've missed out on anything particularly.

    Our son is nearly 4 months, & financially things are just starting to pick up. We paid back our loan last month, and my husband has just got a pay rise & small bonus. We are even going on a short holiday in May & are able to plan the home improvements which need doing.

    If someone had said to me 2 years ago that we'd be living off 1 wage whilst raising 2 kids I'd have laughed, and yet we've been doing it.

    In hindsight, I wish now that we'd worked out what I would be living off once I was on maternity (I was getting about £600 per month I think) and then I would have lived off just that, and saved the remainder from my wage. That way we could have gotten used to what we'd be living off, whilst building some good savings/paying off debts.

    Good luck ladies, and use the time you have before TTC to research what you want (nursery, pushchair etc). Its a great excuse to look at stuff on the internet & go to Mothercare & Babies R Us! image
  • HappyMrsMacHappyMrsMac Posts: 593
    Oooh thank goodness others feel the same. My broodiness is growing rapidly by the day! We have been married for 7 months and honestly if i could i would have started TTC at the beginning of the year but we have decided for september/october time too - which sometimes feels like a lifetime away! Im due to come off the pill in July time so im trying to keep myself goign thinking of that - and im thinking of starting my folic acid now so that i feel im at least doing somethign pro-active and not just twiddling my thumbs! Its hard though - im turning 29 in September and some people tell me i should have started last August when we got married - but we have had so much else going on i just want to be sure that im going to be able to enjoy our wee one when we eventually start!

    My fear is that it will take ages for me to fall pregnant - i keep having these little day dreams where im pregnant at xmas and can tell everyone but then there is this wee voice that says what if it takes years? I wish there was some way of knowing that everythign was going to be fine once you started trying! Its all the unknowns that drive me mad!! imageimage

    It will be good to have other ladies who are watiting to start TTC too though!! xx
  • SarahMor84SarahMor84 Posts: 1,493
    we originally were going to start straight after the wedding in July, then in November and now we have decided to wait until the end of the year and use 2012 as a year to have some fun! TBH I have a feeling that by the time we get to 2013 we will find something else to put us off trying for a few months image I am very broody but I am so aware that once we fall there will be no going back which is making me nervous, which tells me however broody I am I do not think I am quite ready or is my OH!
  • My husband and I had a chat yesterday and he said he wants to try from january image

    That's nearly a year away!!! I feel silly even looking at this thread now. Rubbish.
  • HappyMrsMacHappyMrsMac Posts: 593
    Sarahmor84 - i know how you feel - im torn betweeen wanting to have a year off from any stress or anything and just to have fun with hubby - but im so broody i just think will i ever feel that there is a right time. Its so hard - i dont think ill ever feel fully prepared for it and for that reason i think we jsut have to jump feet first in!
  • NowMrsWoodNowMrsWood Posts: 438
    Hi girlies!

    I am in exactly the same situation! we get married on 14/06/12 and have decided to start trying straight away, purley because I am 30 and have PCOS so we are not sure how long it will take us.

    I came off the pill in July 2011 and we started taking his and her pregnacare on 01/03/12 as my doctor told me it takes 3 months to absorb into the body. It feels that everyone around me is either having babies or falling PG, so depressing - I just want it to be our turn image
  • Now Mrs RNow Mrs R Posts: 473

    Has anyone else already decided what their yet-to-be-attempted-to-be-conceived-baby's name will be, room will look like, make of pram etc...? Or have I taken my obsession to a whole new level?

    Oh no, I'm with you on that one. I like Elfie and Mop nursery bedding by Mamas and Papas, it was half price a while back and I was tempted to buy it!! But I don't want to tempt fate.

    We've pretty much decided on names too, and I love looking at baby stuff online. It's a bit tragic really! x
  • MrsSimonMrsSimon Posts: 264
    It's quite reassuring that everyone seems to feel the same while they're waiting! Since we got married 2 and a half years ago we have planned to try several times and then had to wait for one reason and another. Most recently we were meant to start trying in april this year but then my contract was not extended so I'm starting a new job soon and will then have to wait for a while. We're thinking october now so I guess I just have to keep myself occupied until then.

    My fear is that it will take ages for me to fall pregnant - i keep having these little day dreams where im pregnant at xmas and can tell everyone but then there is this wee voice that says what if it takes years? I wish there was some way of knowing that everythign was going to be fine once you started trying! Its all the unknowns that drive me mad!!

    I know exactly what you mean I could have written this myself. I'm 28 in november and I'm just so worried in case we left it too late.
  • LBJBLBJB Posts: 219
    Caterpillar january is only 10 cycles away!!! Thats not long at all. me and hubby chatted last night and decided to open up another savings account so we have one for house savinv and one for baby saving. we would like to have £2000 in there when a baby comes along to cover things we buy and also to top up smp. we but 20 pounds in it which somehow made me feel better... like we had taken a step forward. silly i know.

    i havent looked at nursery or prams... but now i know others do it might just have to be my new guilty pleasure image ...

    How are the other waiters doing??
  • jarkmessjarkmess Posts: 751
    I'm glad I'm not the only one having to wait! We're getting married 8th September and I think we could probably do without the stress of a pregnancy along with the stress of wedding planning image I wanted to try last year, hoping to have a baby before the wedding but H2B wasn't keen image Hoping for a post wedding baby, we're not leaving the room on our honeymoon image
  • Polly27Polly27 Posts: 682 New bride
    I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one. We got married last September and we spent the 18mths before that saving like mad for the wedding, so we decided we wanted some time after the wedding to just enjoy ourselves. So we've booked an amazing holiday for October this year, also all my friends seem to be getting married this year as well so we're having to put off trying until about this time next year (also want to do the bathroom after our holiday.)

    But now that I've got next year in my head I can't stop thinking about baby things! My sister in law is pregnant so it's making me twice as bad. We went to mothercare to look at possible presents for her and all I could do was picture all the furniture in my own house with my own baby. I'm baby mad! Everytime I go to see my 16mth old nephew I just keep saying to my husband how much I want one, luckily he's as bad as me. I just can't wait to have my own little family. Oh no I've started myself off again! image
  • MrsSimonMrsSimon Posts: 264
    I was watching one born every minute the other night and crying because I want a baby so much. I've been so broody for years but since we got married it's been so much worse. It also doesn't help that every other week another one of my friends, family or colleagues seems to announce they're expecting. It sounds like a few of us are all going to be trying at about the same time which is nice. Can support each other.
  • Thought I might join in lol, we are getting married in September and I can't wait to start trying. H2b is also looking forward to having a baby but wanted to wait until after the wedding, although we are quote tempted to start trying in July then even if we get lucky and conceive I would only be 2 months gone and would fit in my dress!

    My SIL is due to have a little girl any day now ( due date yesterday) so that will make me want to try even more. I can't walk past a baby without oohing and arring lol
  • MrsKBMrsKB Posts: 774 New bride
    Hi ladies.

    I'm so pleased I found this thread!

    We too are waiting to try until after our wedding on 25th August this year!

    I've been so broody for ages but when h2b proposed we decided to get married first and get the massive expense out of the way!!

    I will be 23 and h2b will be 26 when we start trying which I knwo some people may think is too young but we've been together for 5 years, own our own home and have good, stable jobs. And more importantly we both feel ready!

    I've always liked the idea of being a young mum, I like the idea of me being in my 40's while my children are in their 20's like I am with my mum and have always loved our relationship!

    Anyway after feeling broody for about a year now, time feels like it has stood still!! Although I am now so excited for our wedding it kind of takes my mind off things!!

    But I can't wait for the wedding night and honeymoon to get practicing the baby dance image

  • MrsSimonMrsSimon Posts: 264
    I don't think that's too young at all. The only thing stopping me at that age was waiting to be married. Unfortunately my hubby had other ideas (and I cleverly decided to back to uni) so we're still waiting. August will be here before you know it and as you say weddings are a good distraction.
  • HazzzerrHazzzerr Posts: 323
    wanted to wait until after the wedding, although we are quote tempted to start trying in July then even if we get lucky and conceive I would only be 2 months gone and would fit in my dress!

    This is EXACTLY what we are doing! getting married end of september, so gonna start ttc again end of june so I'll still fit in my dress, because it was very expensive! It's literally just the dress stopping us from carrying on now!
  • NooeyNooey Posts: 413
    I feel the same ladies. I am 25, 26 in May. My husband and I have been together for over 5 years and got married six months ago, last September.

    There are a few little depts, not much, overdrafts and bits I wanted to clear and try and get some savings to one side before we start ttc.

    My husband said he wanted to wait 18 months-2 years after we were married before we started trying. But now has said anytime from a year since we have been married is ok!

    Although I am aware I am young my husband is a little older than me and will be 39 this year. I don't want him to be too old to enjoy a little one or two. He also has a son from a previous marriage who is 18.

    I also wanted to get a year under my belt at my job (been there 8 months)and to sign a 3 year tenancy with our house in November before we started trying. But I can't help but think there will always be some reason or another to put it off?

    I think for now I am going to start taking folic acid and my multi vits and make sure I am fit and healthy. Then hopefully my body will be ready when I am!
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